I love long hair but I hate mine! Help me please!
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Category: Long Hair Happenings
Forum Name: Long Hair Support
Forum Description: Growing it long takes commitment and support.
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1066
Printed Date: January 02 2026 at 1:13pm
Topic: I love long hair but I hate mine! Help me please!
Posted By: ildjarn
Subject: I love long hair but I hate mine! Help me please!
Date Posted: September 12 2004 at 12:05am
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I usually don't visit this type of forums but right now I've got nothing to do anyway and finally decided to seek help. I do not want to say anything much about myself or where I'm from. Im a guy of age 23 and I think that much is sufficient to know about me. From my childhood i've always liked to have long hair but my hair is partly curly in the front and a little wavey, frizzy and a little curly at the back. I've always been jealous of people who're blessed with really straight hair and if I had that then I don't think i'd want anything more in life. Throughout my life, i've always been laughed at by my friends and people who see me because of how funny my hair looks and I always used to laugh along although it hurts me from the inside. Although I never trusted chemical treatment of straightening of my hair, I did decide to go for it once knowing that it will never be a permanent change anyway and it turned out to be the worst mistake of my life. I did it at one of the most expensive saloons near where I live and it turned out to be "OK" for a day or two and then my hair started to break and I started to look bald specially on the front side of my head which made me look even more funny to most people and I ended up having a haircut. Now my hair is slowly getting long again and curly. I did purchase a hairstraightener that was promised to be gentle on the hair from (www.xenna.com) and they even sent me a free sample which gave me a little confidence that they know what they're selling and sure about customer satisfaction but I do not see any difference. What do I do? I do not mind spending thousands of dollars to get the straightest hair possible specially if it can be a permanent change. I do not even care to go for it if a surgical transplant of my whole scalp can be done anywhere in the world which Im ready to do right away. What is the solution I have if cost is not an issue at all? Everyday people are laughing at me when they see me. I do not go out. Most of the time I sit at home doing nothing. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. Who can suggest something to me apart from telling me to try living with short hair cause I just can't. I can send a sample of my hair by FedEx or send a photograph of myself or something to some professional who can come up with a solution for me. I hope somebody replies to this thread with some possible solutions that I can do but whatever the case maybe, I cannot live with short hair and Im trying to live with my ugly long hair even if people are laughing at me. |
Replies:
Posted By: Tiuku
Date Posted: September 12 2004 at 7:00am
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First of all, I like men with curly long hair. I have many friends like that. My friends with that kind of hair keep their hair in low ponytail. It gives a smoother look around the head, even if the hair is otherwise extremely curly. Have you tried it? Also, I wonder if you should pay that much attention what others think of how you look. If some people laugh at you, it does not mean that there is anything wrong with you, but that they are stupid themselves. Normal people with fullfilling lives have other things in their minds, they are those sad ones that love to be mean to have some pleasure in their own miserable being. If you give in in one thing, I just wonder what you have to give up next. I have had nasty comments about wearing glasses, and it seems that some would prefer me without them, but then I could not see! If you absolutely must have straight hair, I would advise you to avoid chemical treatments, because it sounds that your hair does not take them well. I would not go to surgery either, because there are always risks, and if something goes wrong it is always something hideous -- tough sometimes I wish that my hairline would not be quite so high, it would make my face look smaller (everyone has their own broblems). For straight hair, you could try different styling options. A girl I know straightens her long and thick corcscrewcurls with straightening irons -- but it is not very gentle to your hair, and she does it only for special occasions. However, it works very well if you want stickstraight hair. Someone with curly hair can probably tell you more about styling, my own experience is more of getting some movement to my stickstaight hair. 
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Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: September 12 2004 at 8:19am
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in all honesty i think people might laugh at it because they dont believe men should have long hair. Most people who think its cool for a man to have long hair, wouldnt have a problem with curly or puffy hair. You cant imagine how hard it is to be a women with puffy, frizzy and curly hair. It matters more. Enjoy it, dont play with it, embrace it. Who says that hair has to be straight? Which rule? Its yours so love it, flaunt it |
Posted By: ildjarn
Date Posted: September 12 2004 at 8:22am
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Well out here everybody keeps their hair short. I havent seen anyone with long hair. Im from India so you can imagine how the people are. The only people with long hair are the ones that wear turbans lol. I dont want to straighten my hair so that i can make others happier. My hair is so messed up. From my childhood i had to always hated to see my hair in the mirror and yet I cannot cut it off. Yeah i know there is no such rule that men should have short hair and women can have the option to keep it short or long and neither is there any rule that hair should not be curly but I don't like the way how my hair is. Straight hair seems to be one of those things i've always wanted and Im ready to do absolutely ANYTHING to achieve a permanent change and neither do I care about the risks (as long as I dont end up getting bald lol) There has to be some solution without me having to spend a lot of time straightening and managing my hair. Yeah the only solution is to cut it off and forget about it but thats impossible for me. ------------- |
Posted By: Viktoria
Date Posted: September 13 2004 at 8:45am
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Hello Ildjarn! I have no clue what people in India are like, but it seems to me your problem is not really about your hair, but with your relations. One the one hand, you want everyone to accept you, on the other hand, you want to look this way that other seem (?) to think is foolish. And if itīs about length or no length, why do you think straight long hair rather than curly long hair will make people stop laughing? Wanting to do your own thing is always going to make some people stop and express themselves, sometimes to admire you, sometimes to get you "back on track" - their track. I second MissKitty4: embrace it, if itīs really what you want and it expresses who you are. We canīt all be the same. Most of us straighthaired people would love to have been born with curls. I envy you. ------------- The more you complain, the longer God lets you live. |
Posted By: geongeon
Date Posted: September 17 2004 at 6:04pm
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If you want long hair while yours grows out. Visit a certified stylist in your area that can add hair extensions. ------------- |
Posted By: ildjarn
Date Posted: September 19 2004 at 4:26am
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They may continue laughing but let me forget about the people around for a while. I know for a fact that I would be happy with straight hair than what I have right now cause what I have right now is really SAD. I know that to accept what I have is the best option I have but I don't want to do that. I don't think anything is impossible so I want to continue to seek what I really want and like I said, I do not mind at all going through any kind of surgical procedures but I haven't heard of anybody who's done that kind of thing and I don't know who to ask. Even a so called "certified professional" out here is nothing better than an absolute idiot and I've got really good number of experiences with all of them. I've ended up spending thousands of dollars and ended up getting nothing or losing my hair. I wanna try doing something in some other country but not sure what I need to do and where I should go. Is there a remote possibility of getting my whole scalp replaced with somebody else's scalp. They do all those heart transplants and all that so why not something like this. To me this will make a really big difference. A lot of my friends would do anything to just gain height and everything. To my bad luck, I have height and everything that the others don't have and they're blessed with what I always wanted. Anyway, is some sort of a transplant possible? ------------- |
Posted By: Viktoria
Date Posted: September 19 2004 at 9:48am
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I have never heard of a scalp transplant. I have seen bald people get hairs put in, one by one, (like Elton John) but mostly, it looks really weird, because it is hard to place the hairs so that it looks natural. By all means, talk to a professional about it. If you have the means to go really anywhere in the world, Iīd think the best "extreme makeover"-ists are in Hollywood. If they, even (who practically make people out of plastic), tell you no, maybe you should give up. And consider this: even if a surgeon can do all sorts of things to you, your body has to HEAL as well. Look at Michael Jackson: donīt you think he could afford a new, nice nose? Of course he could. But all the money in the world canīt help him, because he is NOT HEALING. Basically: donīt fix it if it aint broke! Good luck to you. ------------- The more you complain, the longer God lets you live. |
Posted By: Susan W
Date Posted: September 19 2004 at 10:34am
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I don't have curly hair, so I don't have much advice, but I just wanted to write because I feel your pain. It makes me sad to read that you detest a part of yourself so much, and that you recognize other good qualities in yourself, but focus on the one you hate instead. But I've hated parts of me in the past and I know the road I took through it was to change it and keep it changed for years until I finally learned to accept it. Once I accepted the parts of me I hated, I realized they weren't so bad after all, and didn't really matter much in the overall scheme of things. Try searching the internet for information on hair relaxers and other straightening methods. If your professionals there can't do it right for you, your other options are either to fly to another place and try getting them to do it at a salon (but you will have upkeep as your hair grows and can you afford to fly to another country frequently to keep it up? - I'm not asking you to answer that question for me, just for yourself). If the staightener you tried didn't work, you may just need another product. Please read a lot about them, and reviews of various ones before you try anything. See if some people's hair doesn't react well to chemicals and try to find out on the net if your hair is that type (thought maybe you don't know unless you try). You can purchase these things online and use them yourself, but you should learn as much as you can about using them before you buy to make sure you won't make any mistakes and wind up bald or damaged. Read the "curly hair" and "straight talk" part if this forum for information there on straightening also. Many people here in the US straighten their hair, so there is certainly a way to do it with good results if you wish. And the straightening irons do work, but are damaging as said above. And remember, many of us also curl our hair so we can look like you!. Good luck. ------------- Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: September 19 2004 at 11:42am
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Susan W, that's sage advice for Ildjarn. And BTW I love your icon!  ------------- |
Posted By: Susan W
Date Posted: September 20 2004 at 1:24pm
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Thanks Dave! ------------- Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com |
Posted By: Bob S
Date Posted: September 20 2004 at 3:21pm
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God bless you for your sage advice, Susan. I get so tired of gorgeous women putting themselves down b/c of a few perceived "flaws". And all the best in your quest for regaining beautiful length. Bob ------------- |
Posted By: ildjarn
Date Posted: September 21 2004 at 11:02am
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Thank you Viktoria and SusanW. I'll see what I can find out from the hollywood specialists.. About me getting to accept the hair I have seems to be difficult :(. Its something that I've always wanted to change ever since I was a kid and back then I thought that was the impossible. I've been searching for straighteners from a long time but none of them really works. ------------- |
Posted By: Susan W
Date Posted: September 22 2004 at 8:05am
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Awwww, thanks Bob S! Good luck ildjarn. If the straighteners really don't work, try out the flat iron, I've seen it straighten very curly hair, though like said before you will start to get damage if you use it every day...if you want to keep trimming your hair and keep it about the same length, you should be able to do so, even with using the straightening iron every day, you just may have difficulty growing it longer. ------------- Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com |
Posted By: ildjarn
Date Posted: September 22 2004 at 11:46am
| What kind of straighterner should I go for? I've seen so many of them on eBay... I'd wanna go for the BEST one out there even if it is just to try it out.. |
Posted By: Suers
Date Posted: September 23 2004 at 8:37am
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Dear Man Please do not be discouraged. What really worries me about your post is "Everyday people are laughing at me when they see me. I do not go out. Most of the time I sit at home doing nothing. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. Who can suggest something to me apart from telling me to try living with short hair cause I just can't" We all have bad hair days. If your appearance is causing you so much distress that you are staying home and doing nothing that is more a problem than your hair. Sounds like an anxiety disorder. Please, please see a doctor as you sound like you are becoming very depressed and isolated. Feel happy first, then maybe you'll decide what you can do about your hair. Surely, then when you are feeling better you could find some flattering style of wearing your hair. People with unusual features survive and they are not hiding inside. Please, I am feeling much sympathy for you. ------------- |
Posted By: Supersugar
Date Posted: September 24 2004 at 9:45am
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Hello Ildjarn, I was so sad to read about the people who laugh at you, because truly, they're just trying to make themselves feel better by being jerks. If you asked them, I'd bet most of them have NO idea how much they're hurting you. Now, on to your questions! Scalp transplant? Sounds unusual, but doctors specialize in nearly everything today! However, I think a better option for you would be a flat iron. It doesn't sound like your hair responds well to chemicals. And based on what I continually read on the Net, I think that you should look into a CHI, an FHI, or a Bion. I'm an African American female, and you're probably better off than I am in the hair department! Our hair is typically extremely coarse, whereas yours probably has some smoothness if not for the intense curl. I just bought a Bion for myself yesterday and I'm very eager to try it out. If you want, I can post results as soon as the thing comes in the mail. I actually spoke with a representative from one of the bigger eBay sellers. She told me (and this is information that is on the irons' packaging) that CHIs heat up to 450 degrees F. That's pretty hot! But that amount of heat should straighten out your hair easily if it's very rough. The FHI iron is adjustable, and since it seems to be less well known than the CHI, you can usually get it on eBay for less. As far as I can see, the biggest difference between CHI and FHI is adjustable temperature. Then there's the Bion...oddly enough, people who leave reviews about it either really love it or really hate it. I've also heard about digital problems with them, which is a pretty big problem! But from what I can tell, they're supposed to be the best on ultra curly/nappy hair. Please make sure that if you buy an iron from eBay, that 1) it's brand new in box, 2) the seller is reputable and 3) they offer a money-back guarantee or some kind of warranty. Nothing stinks worse than trying to deal with people who won't write you back when you have an issue that needs resolution! Good luck to you in whatever decision you may come to. -april |
Posted By: ildjarn
Date Posted: September 25 2004 at 11:44am
| I don't know if I need to see a doctor or not, but yeah its true that I may be depressed but thats not entirely because of the hair thing so lets forget about that and theres no need for sympathy or anything... just looking for the best solution I can find. When I first posted on this board, I was kind of drunk, sorry about that. Yeah lets see what this flat iron thing is like.. i'll try whatever I can as long as i don't end up losing my hair or whatever... but I hope I end up finding a permanent solution to this... I know how much better I'll feel after finding what I seek but nobody seems to have any information about if a permanent change can be accompolished.. I tried on the hollywood website to look for some specialists but could find nothing... |
Posted By: korsakovhatt3
Date Posted: October 01 2004 at 7:46pm
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I know you're really determined to have straight hair, but I think curly hair is so beautiful. I've always wanted curly hair. I think that's the way it goes -- We always want what we don't have. I had a number of really unsuccessful perms in the late 80s. They damaged my hair and I never got the beautiful curls I wanted. Eventually I just learned to love my hair the way it is. It would be great if you could learn to love your curly hair, but if you can't, I hope you find a solution that makes you happy. Best of luck to you. ------------- My user name is WAY too long. Just call me Juliana. :-) |
Posted By: korsakovhatt3
Date Posted: October 01 2004 at 7:56pm
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ildjarn, have you ever looked into Thermal Reconditioning (a.k.a. Asian Hair Straightening)? It's a relatively gentle, permanent straightening process. I have a co-worker who had it done and she's very pleased with the results. This website has more info: http://www.hairrepublic.org/ - http://www.hairrepublic.org/ ------------- My user name is WAY too long. Just call me Juliana. :-) |
Posted By: The Asian Invasion
Date Posted: October 19 2004 at 9:03pm
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Hi! I'm sorry to hear about how much you don't like curly hair. For a long time, I wished for curly hair, and it wasn't until recently that I accepted my own hair. I don't think you should be looking at a hair transplant or anymore chemicals just yet. The CHI irons are very expensive, and even if money is not a problem it still would be nice for you to have extra money, wouldn't it? I own a Jilbere de Paris Ceramic Tools Porcelain Flat Iron, which heats up to 446 degrees F, and that's close enough to 450 degrees. It works very well for a girl I know who has very frizzy, curly hair. Good luck, Mare ------------- |