Help! My mom wants to cut off my beautiful long hair short for summer school! EEK!
Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: Teen Hair & Hairstyles
Forum Description: If its cool, if its hip, if its hot... Its here.
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=12521
Printed Date: July 19 2025 at 6:15am
Topic: Help! My mom wants to cut off my beautiful long hair short for summer school! EEK!
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Subject: Help! My mom wants to cut off my beautiful long hair short for summer school! EEK!
Date Posted: June 25 2004 at 12:48am
| My long blond hair makes me who I am. My mom is still adement that my hair has to go as summer is approaching, but I believe she is upset because of my grades. What should I Do? I just want to run away! |
Replies:
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: June 25 2004 at 9:14am
|
hi cynthia, how long is your hair and how short does your mum want to cut it??? i think your mum needs to think about wat she wants to do as it could backfire on her. hope you reply soon yours richard |
Posted By: gmoney
Date Posted: June 25 2004 at 9:50am
| RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: June 26 2004 at 11:02am
|
Hi Cynthia, If your mother is upset about your grades, go talk to her about them. She wants you to want to try harder in school. And she wants to know that you honestly care to try harder. Maybe (I'm just guessing) she is threatening to cut your hair as a way to get your attention. It comes down to this -- and the decision is yours -- you'll either both be happy, or both be unhappy. ------------- |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: June 26 2004 at 4:59pm
|
Oh a boy, that's bad. On a girl, it's even worse and disgusting, nobody's force a girl to cut off her hair for many many years. I'm pretty sure you could call social services on her if it gets that bad, but I wouldn't let it. Talk to her, and explain how silly she is. Once you move out, grow it as long as you can and maybe dye it funky colours to annoy her :) If anyone cut my hair, even a bit of it, or tried to, I swear would physically stab them with the scissors. hey, sounds violent, but that wound will heal in a day or two, my hair won't. |
Posted By: loveshorthair
Date Posted: June 27 2004 at 10:45am
| I thought I would never do this but I have to agree with DaveDecker on this one. He has some good advice. Communication is the key - not arguing or running away. Find out exactly why she wants your hair cut...if it is for grades...come up with an alternative...be harsh on yourself (you shouldn't be in summer school!) If it is for other reasons, deal with that - maybe you could get several inches taken off to make it look healthier or get long layers....it all depends on what your mom's reason is - good luck |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: June 27 2004 at 5:38pm
| I have to agree you should talk it over, but not that you should "reach a compromise". There's no such thing as a compromise in this situation, it's *still* being cut, and she's only doing it as a ridiculous punishment. |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: June 28 2004 at 12:46am
| Do what I did with my mom: Tell her if she tries it you WILL retaliate physically and back it up. Nothing backs off a controlling parent like the kid growing some claws of her own. i actually had to punck my mom in the face when I was 14 for her to get the message. |
Posted By: Kuroneko
Date Posted: June 28 2004 at 1:57am
|
In a way, I'm torn on what to say. On one hand, I only wish I had your problem, as I had the total opposite-- parents who wouldn't allow me to get haircuts when I wanted to. On the other hand, my own experience with controlling parents makes me sympathetic to what you're saying. . . Blee. . . Okay, I guess the best thing I can say is, if a child isn't doing what he or she is supposed to, parents often punish them by taking away something important to them. For a lot of kids, that's telephone or video games, but apparently your mother knows your hair is important to you, and thinks taking that away would be the most effective punishment. Firstly, I would suggest trying harder in school and making better grades so she wouldn't have to punish you. Secondly, talk to your mother and make sure she knows and sees you putting forth more effort, so maybe she'll go easy on you. You can't expect to talk her down from punishing you and then go right back to making bad grades again :-P . If you do go on making bad grades, I would say she has every right to punish you in any legal way she sees fit, anything to push the importance of education into your head. ------------- More awesome than a manatee! |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: June 28 2004 at 6:21pm
|
No, she does not have the right to punish her in any way possible. This only leads the way to abuse. There is more than just physical abuse, I've seen people been horribly emotionally abused by their parents and come out a horribly wreck, just as scarred as someone who'd been physically abused. Hair is a part of someone, her mother has no right to destroy something tha someoen holds so dear, ESPECIALLY a part of their body! It never solves anything, it just leaves them angry for the rest of their teens. A parent isn't there to punish. A parent is there to love and nurture. A child should only be expected to give love and respect back, not cut their f**king hair off. I don't care what law or tradition says, it's wrong. If someone is gettign bad grades; maybe it's just because they're not able? I've seen people that studied 3 times as me for the LEaving Certa, and only got 300 points as opposed to my 420. It's wrong to punish someone for what they're not able for. Reward is always more effective than punishment. |
Posted By: Rod
Date Posted: June 28 2004 at 9:05pm
|
Some of this is good advice and some of you sound like children yourselves. Anyone who says that parents should never punish their children has never had children and has no clue how hard a job being a parent is. Recommending hitting your parent is as bad as recommending a parent hit a child. Parents should never be physically or verbally abusive and should always instill their children with self-confidence. That's not always so easy. Punishment and reward are part of parenting. If all parents were perfect, there might be no need for either. But parents, as well as children, are flawed individuals. Punishment should be avoided if possible, but sometimes it's the only way to get through to children. Time-outs, or even the threat of time-outs, can have a big impact on small children. Taking away something important later in life can really scare someone into better behavior. If a teenager drinks, does drugs, or other unacceptable behavior, the parent has to act. Doing nothing is irresponsible. Assuming this person isn't a troll, there may be good reasons why the mom is threatening to cut her hair. It may be a prized possession. It may be a distraction from her school work. The information isn't here. Most parents don't do things just because they're mean and without cause. I'd guess that's true in this case. This girl seems to have gotten the message. And if she hasn't, she will if her mom gets the girl's hair cut short. It will grow back. It's only hair. Maybe that's the message needed. Of course, I have no idea if the mother is overreacting and the punishment is warranted. Communication is important and I hope both can be responsible enough to do that. ------------- |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: June 28 2004 at 10:54pm
|
Sung to the tune of "Row, Row, Row your boat!" Troll, Troll, Troll your posts, gently down the internet! Merrily, merrily, merrily, trolls are but a dream!
|
Cynthia wrote:Posted By: Kuroneko
Date Posted: June 29 2004 at 3:25am
|
I've just seen far too many intelligent children make crappy grades in school because of laziness, when I know they should be capable of more. It's annoying and frustrating to see children not living up to their potential, thus I'm on the side of any parent who does what it takes to get their children learning. Children who honestly don't have the intelligence to make good grades on-level can be moved to special ed classes where they can learn at a slower pace, and be encouraged by good grades on work they can do rather than feeling stupid because they can't make good grades in mainstream classes. With time and patience, even special-needs children can perform better than most people would give them credit for, so I can't really even see that as an excuse for low grades. And certainly children with full physical and mental abilities should be expected to perform well, as they haven't got anything to blame if they don't. ------------- More awesome than a manatee! |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: June 29 2004 at 12:35pm
No, I never suggested that. I just think that certain punishments should be "Out of bounds" just as certain actions for a child should be. Things like not giving pocket money, or making them stay in for a night, and reasonable punishments (depending on circumstance), drastically altering the part of their childs appearance is not. It doesn't matter about your past experiences as a parent, there are some things as a human being you just don't do. I count that as physical violence, as it is defacing part of the body against the child's will. At least broken legs heal quicker. If you ask me it's *much* worse than being beaten, it's a complete drain of confidence for a person. So, if necessary, it is defendable by physical violence. For instance, if the mother gets the scissors out, I would knock her back and threaten to cut her hair off, or scratch her face; but I should hope it would NEVER EVER come to that, that's not a way to solve problems as I said already; it's only in an emergency when you're physically forced into it, in which case you have a right to fight back. Although I do think for the most part punishment can be ineffective, which is why psychologists tend to recommend a more reward based system for unruly children; hate only teaches hate and should only be used when necessary. A parent has no right to physically alter their child in such a way that will cause them serious trauma (if I lost my hair, it would). I know being a parent is hard, but plenty of things are hard; you can still *be* a Bad parent, logically. You can't use it as an excuse in this situation; why would someone so horribly? Punishment is often little more than a vessel for revenge. As for test results, you don't have to be mentally handicapped to do bad! "Limits" don't mean low limits. I don't think I could have done any better than I could have, really. I just wasn't able to. I'm not able to concentrate that long. Just because you can do well, doesn't mean you can do the best. Everyone's good at things in different amounts, parents often don't like to believe that School work is one of these things, because they don't understand. It's not just about "Putting work in" it's about being able to work in the first place. If you're not fit, you can't climb a mountain as easy as someone who is. You could try, but you might pass out on the way. That's *exactly* what it is. Cutting off someone's hair is a military punishment, and should never be excercised by a parent, or anyone for that matter. |
Posted By: Hal
Date Posted: June 30 2004 at 7:52am
To funny... someones feeding the trolls...lol ------------- |
Posted By: duke
Date Posted: July 01 2004 at 7:21am
|
I also strongly suspect that the original post was written by someone trolling. And anyone who punishes their children by cutting their hair is in my opinion going far further than what can be acceptable for parental discipine. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATEVER would I accept such a draconian punishment as warranted and consider anyone and everyone who has punished their child in this and other extreme ways to be a child abuser. Period. |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: July 01 2004 at 1:53pm
| Right. People have a very strong emotional attatchment to their hair, so it's also emotional abuse. |
Posted By: JL
Date Posted: July 07 2004 at 10:52am
|
Short hair can be cute and/or sexy. If mom is punishing you, then beat her to the punch. Find a great looking short style, a bob or pixie will do and come home with the new style as a surpise. By this you have taken away her power play and probably will find that you not only look great but love the new style yourself. My wife had long blond hair and then cut it into the Josie Bissett look from the early Melrose days. She couldn't go out without someone asking where she got her hair cut because they wanted to go there and get the same cut. Good luck! |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: July 08 2004 at 2:18pm
|
I'm extremely annoyed at the last reply. That's a nasty thing to say. I knew someone would say it though. You're a short hair/hair cutting fetishist/obsessive and just want her to do away with it for that reason. She already stated her hair is what makes her who she is (providing she's not a troll), so the last thing she wants to hear is that she'll look good in short hair. And that psychology doesn't work, because presumably her mother has already been telling her to cut her hair herself, so it would be a complete victory for her. All you're doing is providing an extra push for her to do something she doesn't want to do; stop it. I know how she feels, provided she is real of course. |
Posted By: JL
Date Posted: July 09 2004 at 9:05am
|
Vineman, It's so refreshing to see you resort to name calling. I don't think you know me or apparently anything about teenage phsychology. Sure people get emotionally attached to their hair and sure the mom gets to gloat over the short cut, but the mom loses the power to always threaten and abuse the mental state of the teenager. In the long run, this is more important. The issue is not the haircut, it's the leverage the parent has with the threat. Remove the leverage. No one should be held back or restrained by the emotional attachment to something as superficial as length of their hair, color, piercings, etc. Find the inner self and find true happiness. I suppose you advocate men not removing body jewelry or covering tatoos before interviews as well. I can easily say my tatoos "make me who I am", but they still result in discrimination in the workplace no matter how popular they are in today's pop culture. I was similarly threatened as a teenager and was emotionally attached to my eighties big hair. Now, I am raising teenagers and volunteer with youth groups year round. I speak from experience, education and training, not from emotions or fetish cravings. From where do you come...oh yeah, the VINES. Apparently, archaic, outdated jungle vines where women are to be dragged around by their long flowing locks. |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: July 10 2004 at 6:44am
|
People *do* have emotional attatchements to such things. Just because you were able to do away with it doesn't mean anyone else would want to. So, in reality, if you were, you can't hope to understand it. And cutting her hair short is a complete submission, her mother wanted it gone before the holidays. She WANTS her to cut it herself. Sometimes, you have to stand up for things. All this is doing is allowing a semi-abusive parent more control. She has made it clear she does not want short hair. I don't care how much experience you have, it is entirely wrong and most people agree with me. This is the kind of bull**** that causes teens to be unruly in the first place, I understand that much. |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: July 11 2004 at 3:00pm
| Why don't you ask your mom why she thinks cutting your hair will lead to better grades? Then try to reach an alternative solution. |
Posted By: Kuroneko
Date Posted: July 14 2004 at 4:31am
|
It looks like we have a real "chicken and egg" situation here. You say parents punishing children causes them to become unruly, but if the children weren't unruly to begin with, why would the parents feel the need to punish them? ------------- More awesome than a manatee! |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: July 14 2004 at 6:09am
|
why are we talking about this still ????? it was oviously a troll posting as the person who was responsible for the post hasn't replied to any comments on here or given us any updates. the person probably wrote this post knowing that people would end up having a big debate over wether or not cutting someones hair as punishment is right. there is no answer to this debate as there is no definite answer to it, the answer depends on a persons views / opinions. also before people try to ban people been 'trolls', by 'troll' i guess you mean someone who puts false posts on this board, then anybody could be a 'troll' as we have no proof as to wether someone is genuine. ok i know there is some geniune people on these boards, but with others how do we know they are genuine? if they put pictures on here then it doesn't prove they are who they say they are because the photos could be from anywhere, either another web site, from a magazine or could be a picture of a friend. ok if soemone puts false posts on here who cares? they are probably doing it so that they can turn their fantasys into reality by making them seem real by getting people to respond to their requests for hair style opinions. these are harmless fantasys and the people aren't doing anyone any harm. so lets leave the trolls alone. yours richard |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: July 14 2004 at 1:44pm
| I agree with that last post! How can you people even make those judgements based on 2 lines of *"TEXT"*....in my opinion it seems real but I think thats missing the point...this is a good oppurtunity to teach some of you internet users that this is not all the "real world" ...this is the internet....a place where a lot of false info might be and a place where a lot of very accurate info might be.....take it as you want but when you are communicating with online communities whether the people are "real" or not it will never be the same as a non internet relationship....case closed? |
Posted By: duke
Date Posted: July 14 2004 at 1:59pm
-Well, Kuroneko, here we are talking about a crazy, draconian, essentially brutal punishment. Cutting hair as punishment is not normal parental discipline. It is treating your kid as if you were running a concentration camp. As for trolls, I strongly suspect this person is one because: -this is not the first post about haircuts forced by parents which has been suspected to be trolling -the person is unregistered -most telling of all, this person HAS NOT BOTHERED TO POST NEWS, COMMENTS ABOUT OUR VIEWS ETC. Typical troll behavior. Richard, I don't think trolling is okay. No one has the right to post their fantasies as if they were reality and fool us, just because they like it. It's called lying. We have a right not to be given idiotic fake info as if it were real just so some fetisher or someone can get their kicks on our account. |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: July 15 2004 at 6:11am
|
hi duke, how do you know the information is false?? can you read peoples minds? the person may not have replied because their computer is broken, they've been busy with other things, their dead / in hospital or on holiday. i don't agree that this is lying - its just someones imagination. their putting these posts up as a work of fiction, do you say ' i'm not buying a book thats fiction because its lying'. i guess the answer is no, so why is this any different?? all the people you call trolls are just sharing their fantasys with like minded people. the 'trolls' are doing nobody any harm by putting these posts on here, its just a bit of fun. i think the trolls have the right idea in that these boards are not to be taken seriously. they are here for people to chat about hair and have some fun. i think nobody on here has the right to call anyone a 'troll' without some solid proof. the way you say 'trolls' have a certain way of working makes them sound like a serial killer not someone whos having a bit of fun. if trolling wasn't on these boards then these boards would be a lot more boring. they are the people who probably think 'this boards been quiet for a bit, lets start a topic up to get people talking again' the topic may be false but at least it has got people talking and discussing the rights and wrongs of cutting off a girls hair as punishment i say KEEP ON TROLLING!!!!! yours richard |
Posted By: duke
Date Posted: July 15 2004 at 8:52am
|
Richard, I never said I assumed the person was a troll. Just that I thought "she" might be. As for trolling, your argument is so dumb I can't believe it. When you buy a book from the fiction shelf, you KNOW it's fiction for crying out loud. I know that when I buy "20000 Leagues Under the Sea", I am probably reading nothing but a story invented for entertainment. On the other hand, when I go to the non-fiction shelf, I want to read correct information AND NOT BE LIED TO. I'm an airplane fan. I wouldn't appreciate it if someone told me, for example, that Wilbur Wright was the first man to exceed the speed of sound whereas in fact it was Charles Yeager. Similarly, I have no need of people lying to me that they're teenage girls whose mother wants to cut off their hair, or that they're a guy who chopped off some girl's hair while she slept, or some similar drivel, whereas in fact he's just some sexually aroused guy and nothing more. I don't go around telling my friends invented stories in order to enjoy myself. It's dishonest. If you have a fetish and want to invent all kinds of fantasies, even write them down, that's none of my business. But to present such stories to us as real, that's another thing. You would not by any chance be the original poster, would you? We DO take this board seriously. What makes you so sure that just because something is on the Internet, it is "not serious"? Some of us are here to inform ourselves. Yes, maybe have some fun, but not that kind of fun. Believe me, the moderators agree with some of this. Read the announcement that the moderators once wrote and still stands: WE AGREE: THIS IS NOT A HAIR FETISH BOARD. You people are out of place here. The moderators are spending time, even money on getting you people off the boards. This is not the place for your fantasies. ------------- |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: July 15 2004 at 11:53am
|
Duke, No I'm not the original poster. Just because someone isn't registered it doesn't make them a troll - I'm not registered but I'm not a troll. People sometimes do cut peoples hair while they're asleep, its done out of spite or as a cruel joke. It happened to a friend of mine when she went camping with school. (now is that trolling or is it real?? you tell me as your the 'expert' on trolls) So who is this 'we' that take the board seriously?? Like I said before how do you know people are who they say they are?? For all you know Kuroneko could be a troll, she might also be a 50 year old man, who is a pervert who likes talking about hair and he pretends to be a woman in her 20's or 30's. Yes she puts down about ignoring trolls and hoping they go away but how do you know this wasn't put up to make people think she isn't a troll? (i mean no offence Kuroneko) You have no idea on who is a troll and who isn't unless you know the person yourself. Troll's aren't treating it as a fetish board. They probably put the posts on this board so that the people who visit this board have something to discuss or give advice about. If its false, so what? at least its keeping the boards alive which is more important. Its people like you Duke who put people off posting of these board because they are worried they will be accused of been a troll. You say books were written to entertain people, well that is what the trolls are doing! They are making up these fictious posts so that people can be entertained. So are you saying that when you go on an internet message board you expect every single post to be 100% accurate and truthful?? Get yourself off of the weird world you live on and come back to planet earth! Not every detail on the posts will be 100% truth, people may change small details to make it sound more interesting - this is called 'artistic licence'. I know people take some websites seriously and that they put a lot of time and effort into these sites, hair boutique been one of them. With regard to the moderators they do a good job at keeping the site fetish free but its a hard job as its a fine line between what is fetish and what is just fantasy. When people like Gord (no offence Gord) say they prefer females with long hair couldn't that be read as a long hair fetish? Also the member called 'loveshort&blonde' (no offence loveshort&blonde) couldn't they be seen as someone who has a fetish for short blonde hair looking at their screen name? Its very hard to tell the genuine fetishists from people who don't have a fetish. People come here for advice and opinions because they know people here are friendly and helpful. They don't come here to be interrogated as to wether they are guilty of trolling or not. I think you need to leave people on here alone Duke as you will put people off posting and that could cause these wonderful message boards to close due to poor posting. Duke you aren't a moderator so stop acting like one! You just sound like a grumpy, party-pooping hermit who hates people when they have fun. I think on the subjects of books Duke you would make an excellant Mr Scrooge from 'A Christmas Carol' or even the Grinch!! yours Richard |
Posted By: duke
Date Posted: July 16 2004 at 8:38am
|
As I told a troll/flame poster/whatever some months ago, Richard, YOU WILL NOT SHUT ME UP. I think you have a contrived sense of what is and isn't acceptable, and that you may be on one big ego trip. I seriously doubt the people who run HairBoutique set these boards up with such a permissive attitude toward trolls' misinformation. There are clean and not clean ways of being playful. |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: July 16 2004 at 9:20am
|
Duke, i'm not trying to shut you up, i'm just making a point that you can't accuse someone of been a troll or of having a fetish without 100% solid proof. ok so some posts are wrong but they are rare on these boards - the moderators usually put people off posting 'off-topic' posts. yours richard |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: July 16 2004 at 7:45pm
|
I thought I'd comment again on the attatchment. If that is true, then what difference does it make if someone mutilates their face? It's just superficial and material. Hey, why don't I throw away my TV and computer and everything, it's all superficial, I don't need entertainment or to be happy. I mean since i live in the middle of nowhere I obviously have plenty of friends to do things with. In fact, does anything that happens to your body matter? It's all superficial, after all. Hey, let's destroy nature, it's so pretty but it's so *superficial* isn't it? Just plants growing everywhere, signifying nothing. Sorry, this way of thinking annoys me, I don't like it being forced down my throat. |
Posted By: Debbie
Date Posted: July 16 2004 at 8:49pm
|
What is annoying is this post! It is like the energizer Bunny- Still going! Can we please move onto the next argument? Debbie ------------- There is more to life than hair...Come on---Go get a life!!!!!!! |