My man and my Hair
Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: African American Hair
Forum Name: African American Hair
Forum Description: Devoted to the special needs of African Americans.
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=28985
Printed Date: January 13 2025 at 2:13pm
Topic: My man and my Hair
Posted By: kally
Subject: My man and my Hair
Date Posted: March 22 2005 at 7:23pm
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I need you alls help. I have been seeing this guy for 7 years on and off and he has never seen my real hair!!! I have always keep it in weaves, wigs or braids. I am the type of person that is extra sensitive about my hair and care highly of what others think I know that I should not but I do. Now the relationship with my man may come to terms of a possible live in situtation. At some time I will have to tell him. I know that he is not shallow, but I see it as deceit. I look 100 different when I am am not in false hair. I hate the way I look with out it and I fear that he might not want to be with me anymore I know this sounds crazy but hair has always been a huge issue with me. I know that he should like me no matter what I look like and probably will I just need ideas on how to break the news to him. Please help thanks ------------- "God makes no mistakes" he created you the way you are suppose to be. |
Replies:
Posted By: cebnn
Date Posted: March 22 2005 at 7:29pm
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I used to be like that. I was scared about living with my boyfriend too, b/c hes white and i figured he would be judgmental of how i take care of my hair. you know like eww you put oil in your hair, stuff like that. Once I asked him to help me hold up a pice of hair while doing a perm, and he ended up helping me with my whole head. Don't be afraid of what he will think. Chances are he won't care. He might already know, and is just not saying anything. He might even end up favoring your real hair to the weave.
------------- http://lilypie.com">  
Fotki updated on 10/28 address in profile |
Posted By: kally
Date Posted: March 22 2005 at 7:35pm
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OK thanks. You are probably right. ------------- "God makes no mistakes" he created you the way you are suppose to be. |
Posted By: cmesweet
Date Posted: March 23 2005 at 8:06am
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He might already know it's not your hair...or if u tell him he might just be curious and ask questions. Have him help you with your hair, he is bond to find out sooner or later if he is living in the same house as you. ------------- Natural BC May 9, 2004 |
Posted By: kally
Date Posted: March 23 2005 at 6:39pm
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That is a good Idea I recently had to cut it real short and mybe he can hep me in the growing out process. ------------- "God makes no mistakes" he created you the way you are suppose to be. |
Posted By: Honeydoo
Date Posted: March 24 2005 at 1:19pm
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Kally, I think at some point we've all been in that situation at some point. My boyfriend now, we've been together for just about 4 years now and when we met, I had hair past my shoulders. Then, I went through a really tough hair spell and had to cut it off to a short bob. I really thought he would leave at that point but you know, I told him what I thought and he said, "Hon, it's your hair. You can do what you wish with it. It won't change us in anyway." Most guys, at least that I've encountered, don't see us the way we see ourselves when we are really self conscious. He may already know and not care. He may be curious to see your real hair. You should talk to him about your concerns. Let him know how you're feeling about it. He may be just as understanding. It will be OK!! ------------- http://public.fotki.com/Honeydoo pw: bombay |
Posted By: jasmine2g3
Date Posted: March 25 2005 at 12:37pm
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You've been with him for 7 years? That's wonderful. Obviously he loves you for qualities other than your hair. Black women view hair as their crown and glory-- sometimes this is not a good thing b/c it alters our self-esteem. I, at one point, felt like I lost a piece of me when I literally had to cut half of my hair (severe chlorine damage). It was in the middle of back, past my bra strap. Don't worry too much about him not liking your hair b/c it a part of YOU. If he doesn't know it's not your real hair, you should be happy in a way b/c you've been together for 7 years and even he can't tell so no one else can. That must be one hell of a weave. Anyways, hair can be sexy if it's long or short. Remember it takes a lot of confidence to sport a short hair style so people will look at you as confident. Look at Eva (ANTM Season3)--she looks nice w/ her short cut. ------------- 
My hair idol Transitioning Current Length:1"above bra strap-layered Texture:3c *~*~* Jazz*~*~* |
Posted By: kally
Date Posted: March 26 2005 at 2:43pm
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Thank you everybody I guess I will tell him. When I get my weaves done It look so natural. My I wear it in a curly style evne some of my friends have to ask I tellt hem it is a weave because they are my girl. when i wear my braids everyone know it is not real. Yes yall 7 years on and of. sometime I will do things to push him away due to insecurities about my hair. I will tell him soon. I think he already knows it is fake even though I always go with human hair. It is just that the way I look with out it that scares me. I know he will not leave me over something as petty as my hair, but I feel I need to let him know that I am not always perfect. ------------- "God makes no mistakes" he created you the way you are suppose to be. |