Bob S wrote: Is it possible that you are reluctant b/c your hair is extremely beautiful now, and part of you eschews going to a shorter length which will blend you into the crowd? Some people enjoy standing apart. I agree with eKatherine that a small trim should be considered first. Sometimes a small change is all it takes to renew one's enthusiasm. Good luck! Bob

Bob, she said that her hair is frizzy and dry.  How is that beautiful?  I also resent that you think her shorter cut will "blend her into the crowd".  So what?  A person doesn't need hair down to their butt to stand out.  Sad that you think so though.

Well, she could just be frightened of change, or worried what people might think.  Some people. . . and not just Bob, either, unfortunately :-P . . . totally freak whenever a woman cuts her hair, even if her hair is actually healthier, more attractive, or makes the woman feel better about herself after the cut.

But she said the problem started from childhood, which is why I asked about possible childhood traumas that could've caused that fear.  Obviously it's a crippling fear, like phobia-level, if she's had a style she likes picked out for months and just been too afraid to do it.

 Very interesting, Kuronenko. You may be surprised to know that my attitude toward women's hair depends upon the individual. Sometimes (not often), women look best with shorter hair, in my judgment. However, I have seen many with spectacular locks become convinced by "friends" or family that their hair really looks like crap!

If someone changes her look out of excitement, I respect that even if I think it's ill-conceived. However, when someone cuts to feel better about herself, that tells me that she has probably been beaten down by those who have ulterior motives, such as a b/f who wants no other man to look at her, or a pal who envies the attention she receives when in her company. Cordially, Bob

Disagreements do in fact make the world go round.  I think long hair can be so beautiful, but don't personally find myself attracted to people with long hair. 

Still, I agree with the others - take it slow, possibly try the feye... what can it hurt?

Now you've made this thread really interesting, Blondee.

I think that in Western society, it takes courage rather than fear (esp. after 35) to wear one's hair long. I know many women who have told me that they would like to grow their hair but think they are too old or some such thing. I always urge them to go for it. I've noticed that professional women in particular prefer to blend in with the crowd. Virtually all of them have coiffed hair, and to my thinking, many of them are "hiding behind their hair". Many of them crave long hair, but fear the catty remarks which may come their way if they break the accepted mold. I admit that cutting one's long hair can take courage sometimes, but if a woman loves her hair, a short cut is pointless at any age or in any profession. Best, Bob

Blondee, I hope you don't think I'm being condescending toward you. I respect and enjoy differences. Some people are addicted to change, and my youngest daughter is like you in that regard.

With respect to hair, I think an "empowering" or "confident" style is one which makes a woman feel her best, whether that be short, medium or long. Just as a cut might recharge a woman's batteries, so too might a lengthening or coloring in some instances.

I feel very strongly that b/c of the time investment in growing one's hair long, a true friend should not sow seeds of doubt about that choice. If someone is convinced that she should grow out a pixie or bob, one can return to that style in mere moments if the new length becomes undesired. Not so with long hair. One thing that breaks my heart is to hear a woman's regrets about shearing her beautiful hair. So many times it is a case of that woman being worn down by friends or family. Cordially, Bob