At the risk of getting flamed.
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Forum Name: Hair Extensions
Forum Description: Hair Extensions can be the quick fix for short hair.
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=29774
Printed Date: August 04 2025 at 8:37am
Topic: At the risk of getting flamed.
Posted By: mochachip
Subject: At the risk of getting flamed.
Date Posted: April 13 2005 at 6:53pm
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I think we really upset LyneeD (mother of hair cutting teenage
girls). And have possibly upset some other newcomers from time to
time (I don't mean the blatant advertisers). And I'm totally as bad as anyone else, I know it. Should we consider Karen's question on making the forum application only? Or maybe have an unwritten policy that newbies get 20 posts before they are fair game? Or maybe stick with the current 'this is the real world get a thick skin' policy? Just some food for thought. I'm not even sure which one I would pick. But I do feel a little bad about running people off. cheers! :)al |
Replies:
Posted By: sherrie215
Date Posted: April 13 2005 at 9:07pm
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Just my two cents on the LynneeD post. I did not respond to it at all. I thought she was more concerned about how she felt about her daughters hair getting cut, than how her daughter felt about it. And I may be wrong, but thats how it came of to me and apparently some others thought so too. But I do agree that some of the responses were not cool at all....but, I think you'll have that from time to time. Most of the time this board runs along very smoothly and I dont see any reason to change it at all. I dont want this to be a board where newcombers arent welcome or cant post. I personally prefer to keep it the way it is! If the need arises, thats when the admin. can step in and take care of it. If you look back through the past 65 pages, there has been very few incidents that have been problematic. |
Posted By: metalgirl
Date Posted: April 13 2005 at 9:13pm
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Mocha- I don't feel you said anything out of line to the mom. I agree with you and Sherrie, I thought she was being ridiculous about the hair thing. It's like, get over it mom, there are worse things that could of happened! I like the board the way it is.
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Posted By: Jenny_RR
Date Posted: April 13 2005 at 9:13pm
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Well, I think what happened yesterday with Lynee was highly unusual.
Generally speaking, when there's any friction with a newbie, they're
obviously an advertiser or other form of troll, in which case the
criticism is deserved. I can't remember a situation similar to the this
one, actually. I think a few assumptions were made early on, and the
whole thread sort of spiraled out of control. I do think some of the
posts were unfair too, but again, this sort of thing is unusual here. Personally, I don't see the need to change any of the posting requirements or create a separate area, though. :) |
Posted By: Syren123
Date Posted: April 13 2005 at 10:53pm
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Nah. Things happen. That lady was super sensitive, a couple of zingers popped up, and it all went straight to hell. There were apologies...I think some folks felt bad and learned their lessons...and now it's over.
Being a teacher in the heart of the LA 'hood, I can tell you right now that micromanaging things to keep people from being offended, responsible, whatever, NEVER work and end up doing more harm than good. Occasionally things have to get ugly for folks to learn things..that's the way it is and it's normal. Overall, this is a great board and things run really well! Micromanaging it with applications, waiting periods...it will kill the spontanaiety and fun. Everyone learned a lesson here. The mom, the posters, us, them...it's all good. |
Posted By: Karen Shelton
Date Posted: April 13 2005 at 10:58pm
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I think that Lynee was mostly upset by the "preggers" remark which I deleted because it was way over the top. Also, it is my belief after doing some research on the issue, that "the preggers" posting was made by a probable troll due to the IP address it came from. So that poster was banned. As far as the other stuff....I agree with Jenny that it was a highly unusual event and while some of the posts definitely might have been a little "edgy" that in some regards Lynee did give the impression that she was possibly coming at the topic from a self interested focus. Whether or not that was true, since she posted only limited info, the question that I posed as a result of this event was how was best to deal with newbies and whether or not they should be welcome to post here. There are always two sides to every issue but keep in mind that newbies may tend to be really green and ask lots of crazy (same things over and over) questions. Or they may be like Lynee who is popping in for a current crisis and may not intend to be a full time visitor once the crisis is over. I like the idea of giving newbies a few posts before opening the free for all gates or sounding the get-them-out-of-here alarm (aka bMail to alert me) Whatever you all decide, I am cool with it and will act accordingly. Of course I will always instantly delete blatant ads, spamming or other offensive crap. We can leave the thread as is since you all seem to prefer that but if you want to come up with some suggestions on Newbies for the future, just let me know. Thanks for all your feedback & support. ------------- That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger or drives you totally insane. :-) |
Posted By: sherrie215
Date Posted: April 13 2005 at 11:08pm
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Thank You Karen! |
Posted By: Gina E
Date Posted: April 13 2005 at 11:43pm
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Golly! Sorry... I think my post was takin out of context! I was only making a joke...which I regret know because I am too nice of a person to intentionally hurt someone's feelings. I will from know on keep those types of off color pokes to those I know well enough to know they won't take me seriousliy. Again, sorry! |
Posted By: mtolady
Date Posted: April 14 2005 at 7:05am
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i agree my posts were edgy....however that IS who i am - trust me, i
have a work review folder filled with stuff about how i don't place
nice with others.... i have stopped running with scissors though.  Karen, et.al....please do not change your post format....Syren is correct in that when you try to moderate things more, it really does backfire. I did some research in college regarding the similarities/differences between cities/towns/villages and the internet community. When self-policed, we do tend to run the "village idiots" out of town, but we also keep trolls, advertisers, etc at bay. I would surmise that LynneeD was a newbie to more than just this board. I've been on MANY msg boards....what we have is no different. What we see is each person's unique personality in print....when something is said verbally, it can be softened immediately since you have body feedback from another person. Here, it's not possible - so you either acquire a thicker skin or ...you move on. I guess my biggest head-smacker w/ the post in question is.....IT WAS HAIR....hair grows back....eyes, fingers, body parts do not. And while i did gasp at one comment in particular, I think the comment was made with the tone of "seems there's a bigger issue here than HAIR". might be a wake-up call?!? I love it when my kids do stupid things that don't ruin the rest of their lives....and hopefully learn from it. unfortunately, i'm betting that 14yo will be hearing about it for much longer than it takes to grow another two feet of hair. :( ------------- has someone been swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool again? |
Posted By: Kalika
Date Posted: April 14 2005 at 11:58am
| I personally think we shouldnt block "newbies" from posting here, we were all newbies at one time and although we get a few bad apples, most of the people who post here have good intensions and want to learn. there have been several forums that have restrictive posting, and I choose not to participate because of the hassle. if this place was like that, I probably would have looked elsewhere as well. |
Posted By: Syren123
Date Posted: April 14 2005 at 12:06pm
| That's exactly what I thought, too, Kalika. |
Posted By: mochachip
Date Posted: April 14 2005 at 2:57pm
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Cool and mto, playing nice with others is so not my forte. i mean really not. like purposely humiliating my labmates in front of our boss. So yeah I like the thick skin approach too but thougth we should think on it since Karen mentioned it. :)al |
Posted By: AfroPuffs
Date Posted: April 14 2005 at 4:22pm
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My personal opinion is that Karen should allow a few of the board regulars to be moderators if that hasn't happened already. I think moderating this entire site is too difficult for one person and some type of power should be given to a chosen few that can nip that kind of stuff in the bud as SOON as it happens.
My $.02 |
Posted By: Kalika
Date Posted: April 14 2005 at 4:29pm
I nominate jenny rr 
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