Hi,

   Just wondered if any of you ladies can shead any light on this. Why do so many women get married and then suddenly decide after years to have their long hair cut short ? I know a lot of new mums do this also but I can see a practical reason for this. Any insight for me ?

Thanks.

As a frequent visitor to the country I have to say that I think short hair is more prevalent in Scotland. The same applies to the North of England, particularly Yorkshire. I hate to generalise, but I have a feeling the inhabitiants more "no-nonense" approach to life may be a factor.

I wish they wouldn't do that! It's partly what Katherine says, though perhaps saying long hair on an older woman is "unacceptable" is a bit too strong. It's more unconventional, I think.

Part of the reason may be that women tend to (due probably at least partly to social conditioning) like change. Some of them may keep their hair long until after the marriage, because their boyfriend may like it or she thinks he might, but then decide that, having married him, she "has" him and therefore needs not do so much to "keep him", and cut it off for the sake of change, comfort of fashion.

The big question is, how can a guy send a message to a girl that he would like her to keep it long, without offending her?

Where I live, it seems to me that women have forgotten how to wear long hair in a more mature, elegant way. And I don´t see hairdressers advertising that kind of support either. It´s cut, color and blowdry, and nothing about how to tend to and wear long hair.

I find, as a middle aged woman, that wearing it loose feels comfortable for very private occasions, but if I´m going to be in public and I want to look "my age" or whatever that is, I want it in a bun or some other up-do. Maybe it´s just the lack of role models and know-how that makes women cut off their hair when they want to mark their passing to another life-fase. I mean, what´s wrong with wanting to look like a forty-year-old banker´s wife, if that´s what you are? I like to wear my age, I don´t want to look like a girl. But it´s hard to find role models.

eKatherine, you are a role model! A fantastic one!

bob wrote: It does seem to me that on the whole, women tend to go from long to short at specific "milestones" in their lives such as getting married, childbirth, divorce, retirement etc.  Any other thoughts?

Hi there,

For me, society has nothing to do with thoughts of cutting my hair in this phase of my life. I believe for many, it is hard to steer clear of the Stepford ways. In my opinion, the self-appointed upper crust society has created an unwritten book of rules we should all follow, lest we fall beneath a certain level - which mimics third grade behavior. "Eww, she's wearing white shoes at the wrong time of the year."  Please.

Geography plays a big part, I agree, though it seems the more social an area, the higher fashion choices are in priority. If I lived in Tulsa, I'd be laughed at and mimicked for my long hair at 40, yet it would not convince me to cut and get in line with the rest of them.

Personality plays a big part, too. I have a heavy flower child streak and a strong sense of independence. It would be true to say that part of my long hair is defiance.

I've made sudden cuts on a few occasions in my life, which I did regret. Once it was a longing to sport the style everyone else had. (Think Stepford) Once it was cut, I realized I was just another face in the crowd.

Another time I cut thinking I would appear more attractive with shorter hair. I ended up sad over the cut. Looking back now, I laugh, because I cut my hair for fear a man would prefer another woman with a more styled look. Today I find humor in that because if a man didn't want me due to my hairstyle, I can't imagine trying to further win his affections.

Certain events do indeed contribute, be they a phase of life, a new marriage, wanting to feel fresh and springy, etc. Much like a garden. Though I enjoy a large patch of Four O'Clocks and they smell wonderful, it would be interesting to yank ten years of root and in it's place plant a flowering shrub half the size. In comes the sunlight, new mulch is added, etc. I realize it may be an odd euphemism to compare hair and one's garden.

Control issues may also affect hair cutting decisions. Perhaps a lady lived under the thumb of a dominating man for quite some time. In the event of a divorce, a short cut would indeed serve as a statement of freedom, a new lease on life.

Who knows why women cut so suddenly. Though it would be interesting to see the results of a poll on Hair Boutique. *hint hint* The only thing is, you may have to aim the poll at those who cut a drastic amount of hair, not just a few inches.

Karen Marie

The issue of older women have to cut their hair off at "x" number of age really bugs the hek out of me. 

Personally I think that LONG HAIR ADDS YOUTH!!!

I have 29 year olds tell me all the time with beautiful long hair,"I am turning 30 next year, I guess it will be time to cut it off".  I always reply with horror and first tell them "how old do you think I am" ( I have long hair half way down my back, Jessica Simpson style)

Then I tell them if that's the reason than i won't be the one doing the cutting.

I also require a one month waiting period for such a drastic cut.  I hate tears in my chair, and if you cry, I will cry right with you because I love long hair, when it is properly conditioned.

Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of short hair cut people too.

Just my thoughts.....

phil wrote: functionality over sexuality

Yes, this is exactly how I feel. Although, for me, it means: keep the hair long.

LiliBeach wrote: SNIP > I also require a one month waiting period for such a drastic cut.  I hate tears in my chair, and if you cry, I will cry right with you because I love long hair, when it is properly conditioned. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of short hair cut people too. Just my thoughts.....

How refreshing to hear a stylist say that they won't do spur of the moment long to short cuts, If more stylists took such an approach I think there would be more beautiful and happy women around as it seems so many stylists these days are all to eager to get shearing and chop off years of long hair growth only for the woman in the chair to end up with regrets as she has been "pushed" into a big cut all too suddenly. I mean don't get me wrong I love a good short cut as much if not more than the next person but only if

a) It is what the woman really wants and is not merely  getting to please someone else or to stop the stylist pressuring her

b) If the woman is comfortable with such a style

and last but by no means least

c) The style actually suits the woman as I have noticed especially locally there seem to be a lot of "carbon copy" styles coming out of local salons regardless of whether or not the style suits a particular woman or not, The problem I fear is locally most of the stylists train at the same college and so churn out the same styles.

I'm a trichophile (hair-lover), and I have to say that this sudden trend for not only men to have super short hair, but women as well, actually repells me from them. It sounds shallow, but I can't really help the instinct. I like natural hair, and classic, simple cuts like bobs. I don't like this new trend of layering, texturing, and buzzing and spiking. I just look at those styles and think 'Ugh, why would I want to run my hands through that?'

Most people have really pretty hair--especially boys, for some reason--and I think it's a travesty when people just shear it all off. Maybe I count appearance and sex appeal as too important, but I see the body as a work of art, not a machine. This whole attitude of 'short hair is easier to take care of' makes me think that the speaker doesn't find joy in their own body.

Just my two cents.

Sorry to disappoint short hair fans but the current trend is for men to go longer.  This has started in the past 6 months.  Men are also are growing facial hair AND sideburns...for the first time in years.

Just check out the WireImage and similar photo databases to see the trend of longer hair in men.  Longer...being to the collar or below with more fullness all around on the sides and top.

And yes...in some isolated cases women are going shorter but there are still a lot of women still growing their hair longer.  I would not say that either men or women are going shorter...all of a sudden.  The trends seem to be more romantic, much longer and softer overall.

I think I'm pretty well the opposite there.  Long hair (especially if it's all one length) just looks and feels stringy to me, which I find very repulsive.  Long hair also has more tendency to tangle, and there's nothing less romantic than trying to run your fingers through someone's hair and running into a knot :-P !  Short hair is just much softer and nicer to me. . . okay, not spikes, those are hard and not fun to touch. . . but even spikes and other hard styles can be nice in that they're more visually interesting.  I'd just rather the hair not be hard when I go to touch it ^_^ .  But as usual, now I'm just rambling. . .

Melantha wrote:  I don't like this new trend of layering, texturing, and buzzing and spiking. I just look at those styles and think 'Ugh, why would I want to run my hands through that?'

I think the media and what we see in image and print effects both men and woman.

Those who are able to think freely without outside suggestion and influence in my opnion in the long run ( no pun intended) wind up as happier more well rounded settled people.

And that goes both ways. I think a person who finds him/ or herself more comfortable in their own skin with short hair should listen to their  own mind and not others. Just as people who prefer long hair on themselves do not feel themselves of conifdent with short hair.

I think the danger really falls in the notion that people think they are making choices in having short or long hair because they think that's what they want, when in reality they are constantly being bombarded with images in the media by popular stars and unsolicited opinions by peer's, family and co-workers. Eventaully these opinions and suggestions seep into the subconcious mind.

In those cases you see a person cutting their hair and instantly regretting it in some cases. On the other hand if a person is outside influenced subconciously to grow their hair, they will quickly learn whether or not they are doing it because that's what they really want with thier own mind or are just being subconciously programmed by others suggestions and images in the media to grow it. Because if they are just being influenced to grow their hair, after a peroid of time they will realize they arent doing it for themselves and stop and go back to the length of hsir they like for themselves the most. It only takes several seconds to cut your hair off but takes months and patience to grow yout hair out.

That is why when society and others are influencing you or suggesting you to cut you hair short it is far more dangerous to your ablity to control your own looks and actions because if you do not think things through and really want to do it for yourself you can quickly realize what you thought were your own thoughts were someone elses.

That's absolutely right, Darkhelmet.

Sorry to disappoint short hair fans but the current trend is for men to go longer.  This has started in the past 6 months.  Men are also are growing facial hair AND sideburns...for the first time in years.

Not where I live--where the heck do you live?? All I see are buzz cuts, unless I was at my high school, where the trend was more 'ooh how far can we abuse our hair??' Bleaching, self-cuts, etc. Just...it wasn't short, but it wasn't very healthy either--and therefore, not attractive. Nothing was longer than chin-length in guys, either--and now I don't see long hair at all, unless I look at my sweethearts.

Just check out the WireImage and similar photo databases to see the trend of longer hair in men.  Longer...being to the collar or below with more fullness all around on the sides and top.

Yeah...the 'I just haven't gotten a haircut in a while' look? I've seen that on a few guys, but not many at all around OC.

And yes...in some isolated cases women are going shorter but there are still a lot of women still growing their hair longer.  I would not say that either men or women are going shorter...all of a sudden.  The trends seem to be more romantic, much longer and softer overall.

I would definitely NOT describe the look as 'romantic' at all. Girls with long hair have it sixties-straight and--it seems--bleached or light brown. Or else dyed and layered weird. Longer may be the trend for girls, but it is not a 'romantic' long, it's more of a 'nineteen-sixties' long.

And again, long hair in men--truly LONG, as in all one length and below the shoulders--is not common, because if it were, I'm rather certain that my boyheart wouldn't constantly get called a girl. The 'grown out' look is common in magazines and fashion, and I forgot about that (thank you for reminding me), but long hair is not in vogue among the average guy in my area--it may be different in colder climates, I don't know. That's a thing about the internet--we're all from different places, sometimes vastly different, so things that are true for, say, Chicago, are not true for LA and so on.

*hopes he didn't sound snarky*

Does she get to make demands of your appearance in return, or does it just go one way?

I'd make a prenup that husband is banned from going over a certain weight.

Is Beeper allowed to cut her hair as long as it's over a certain length? It looks like it's cut.

This is a great question that I don't know if there is any one answer. My wife did it as did a many clients over the years. My wife did it because she was done dealing with it. She would have it in a pony tail almost everyday in the summer. She felt alot cooler with her hair off her neck and out of her face. One day she came into our shop with her sister for a vist and she asked me since I was not busy wolud I cut her hair short and she never went past her collar since. Thats been 18 years. As far as others I had many clients have reasons that are normal and some that are way out there. Families talke alot of time away and lots of mothers usually end up going for a care free haircut. I had many have it cut for for locks of love and I admire that. For what ever reason someone gets a short cut I am sure it's a great one.There are times I wish my wife would grow her hair. One time I refused to cut her hair short and she went to my freinds shop and did it anyway.