I am relaxed so I may not be the best person to give you advice. 

I would say try to avoid weaves as they are not the healthiest thing for the hair.  I would try braid outs / bantu knots as that seems to be healthiest.  You have to redo every few days (I suspect) and for that reason alone they are healthier for your hair and scalp.  If you get braids, don't put them in too tight or keep in too long.  Use a good moisturizing conditioner, avoid products that suffocate the hair (no mineral oil or petroleum products).  May want to use a daily moisturizer..

I am sure others will chime in and give more specific recommendations. Definitely work with the ladies on this board and your hair will improve and become healthier.  Takes time, patience and a good simple regimen with the right products.

Out of curiosity, which products do you use?  What is your routine?  Are you growing out the relaxer..

Thanx ladies.

I used pantent relaxed and natural shampoo and contitioner I also use V05 hot oil treatment. and when I'm done blow drying I use jojoba oil. My hair feels like a brilo pad I'm thinking about puting a relaxer in to straighten out the new growth that's what my stylist said but i haven't had one in almost a year? what's the best one to use?

Ok, I would definitely try what Cmesweet advised if you get another sew-in.  It makes sense and also she has experience with sew-in's herself.

Adding more chemicals to the mix doesn't necessarily mean that it will be any easier to comb or maintain your hair.  Relaxed or natural, you need to use the right mix of products and a good consistent regimen to restore your hair's health.  Also, it sounds like your hair is damaged and maybe could have product buildup (lots of cones in Pantene).

Other issues could be:

1. Your hair is relaxed and you have a considerable amount of new growth.  Are you trying to stretch your relaxer or grow out a perm?  Either way, the stress between the 2 textures can be difficult to manage and can lead to more breakage.  Sometimes stretching is great but sometimes going too long creates more trouble. 

2. When did you apply the hot oil (before or after shampoo / condish).  This can make a big difference.  I can not detangle after hot oil, always apply condish afterwards.

3. Maybe the products you are using are not the best for you?  Every one is different, so maybe there are other products out there that may be more effective for you especially when detangling.  What about Creme of Nature Shampoo?  Also as I said before, Pantene works for some but has cones which can lead to buildup.  You need to clarify if using their products or consider switching brands (look through older posts for lots of recommendations).

Since your hair is likely damaged, you may need to do the occasional protein treatment for added strength.  One that the ladies on this board like is Aphogee.  I personally like Emergencee (by Nexuss).  You need a good Deep Conditioner after using either of these.

Hopefully others will have more advice.  It sounds to me like your hair will recover but just needs TLC.

Hi KeKe.

Good for you that you are growing out the relaxer.  I have thought about it but I'm too chicken

There are several people here on this board who have done it so you will have lots of support and good advice.

I would definitely try clarifying.  If the conditioner worked in the past but is no longer effective, then this sounds like it is due to build-up.  Clarifying may remedy this.  Use a clarifying shampoo or an ACV rinse (again you can find an old thread on this board re ACV rinse I'm sure).

Also, as you transition, do regular protein treatments followed by a good deep conditioner & if you don't already have one, use some sort or daily moisturizer, especially on the new growth.  There was a thread on this board not long ago about the best moisturizers, even home made ones.

Good luck.  Keep posting. 

I HOPE YOUR HAIR WILL CONTINUE TO THRIVE AND BECOME SOFTER. GOOD LUCK GIRL.

Hey Ke-ke, sorry to hear that you had to cut your hair OUCH!. Well first off while you had your weave did you take care of your hair underneath? And when you were taking out the weave and braids did you comb your hair with a large tooth detangling comb? If not then thats more likely why you had all the tangles because you HAVE to comb your hair out before washing otherwise you will have a matted mess (I know because my bestfriend and my cousin did it). Its good that you dont relax anymore but you have to take extra care of your hair while in any style. Keeping it conditioned and moisturized is the key. You can try using the Mango Butter by Elasta QP, Shea Butter leave in conditioner by Cantu, ORS Olive oil lotion just to name a few and for tangles Mane-n-Tail Detangling spray works wonders and I mean it works wonders LOL. Well I hope everything works out for you and keep us posted and odnt give up on your hair its just something you have to get use to, baby it, and understand it.  HTH