Hi

I am new to these boards but have read absolutely loads of your posts, most of them I can relate too, especially those of you who have had hair disasters and now feel depressed , unattractive, dowdy and insecure. I think that all the help, advice and support that you all give to each other is wonderful and it is incredible that one can feel so sad for someone who they have never met before, but we do,  because we all have one thing in common......hair disasters. I completely agree with many of the posts i've read on these boards but certain ones stick in my mind. The post from a lady who believes that she is addicted to hair dye, she has to exercise extreme self control when walking past hair colour products in the shop...even though, she has already had so many disasters.......I can relate to that....I have to battle with self control in that area of the supermarket too.  Why do we mess with our hair? Well, simple really.....because we want to improve ourselves,  we buy the product, can't wait to use it, and we have this image in our mind that we are going to look like the pretty girl on the products box. We forget that she has had her colour applied by a professional and that she probabley doesn't have years of other products already on her hair. So we do the deed and it all goes horribly wrong!! Think about it....we must have been feeling a little unhappy in the first place or we probabley wouldn't have bought it, and now its gone wrong we feel doubley depressed because we bought it in the first place to make us feel better and now we feel worse than ever. Somewhere along the line, the manufacturers should take some responsability. I know they supply information on the box and a leaflet inside the box but the information is not extensive enough. They still lead you to believe that its all very easy and that your hair will be left in beautiful condition and looking just the way you want it...without any professional help. I know they have advice lines ect. but I for one have never bothered asking for their opinion first because I've already paid for the item and I'm GONNA use it no matter what. Lets face it, if I phone them and tell them that I have been using bleach for about 15 years and I have so many products in my hair that I can't even remember half their names...its obvious that their advice is gonna be 'don't use it', We know that-thats why we don't ask!!  I wonder if they realise how traumatic it is for a person when these hair disasters occur. Over the years, I've been to the point where I have felt so ugly due to bad hair that I've concidered suicide.......that's how bad it gets for some of us. I did read another extremely good post on here by a lady who put everything into perspective when she said ' its not a scar that you have for life, its your hair and it will grow back again'.  What a wonderful thing to say. I was diagnosed with cancer back in 2001 and would have only had 6 months to live if my tumour had not be operable.... I still didn't feel as bad as I feel when my hair is bad and I think that is pretty incredible. If your hair is bad at the moment, think of what that nice lady said, its not a scar that you'l have for life...its hair which will grow back. I know that its no concillation when you feel low and you feel that you look awful but in most cases there is a solution somewhere to improve the situation, maybe you won't get exactly what you wanted but it can usually be improved upon. The advice from you lovely people on here is invaluable and its the first place that I would recommend anyone go with their hair problems. A big THANK YOU too all of you.

DulcieB, welcome to the boards!  You said such nice things, I am glad you found a forum that is so supportive and helpful to you. 

I too have been the victim of many hair disasters.  The latest one happened to me last year when a foul up at the salon turned into a three month ordeal that ended with my getting a "chemical" haircut.  I'll tell you, I never felt so ugly and so depressed.  The haircut was almost a relief, to be honest.  But then I had to deal with it growing back and yikes, what a nightmare.  It is now finally growing long again, and it's just about all my natural color.  Hooray!  Getting there was tough, but having these forums to post in and read others' stories was a lifesaver. 

Interesting how strongly hair influences how we feel about ourselves, isn't it?  I'm still trying to understand that whole phenomenon.  I wonder if I'll ever figure it out.

Yes, welcome DulcieB!

I to have felt so incrediably unattractive because of my hair. I am in the growing out stage right now of some horrible razor cut frizzy dry end layers. But what you said is right, having a bad hair day..or even what is going to be a couple of years for me to grow out the layers. Isn't the end of the world. It is hair and it does grow, I am only 15 years old so I have decadeds and decadedes of good long hair days ahead of me.

Best Wishes, and I am so glad that you beat you cancer! I have had cancer in my family and know how devastating it can be.

Chelsea

Hi

Thanks for your comments KB and Chelsea B. Hair disasters are horrible horrible things but whats worse still is the effect that it has on your confidence. The worse thing for me when I have had a hair disaster is waking up every morning and its the first thing on my mind, that awful depressing feeling that we all feel when we think we look terrible- and in many cases its not actually as bad as we think it is but all we can think about is how to put it right.....no matter what it takes. When I have felt like this over a hair disaster I have become totally unreasonable and bad tempered and everyone around me has suffered ..... all because my hair went wrong and because deep down I'm angry with myself. I have abused my hair for many years and had a disaster about 2 months ago. My hair was mostly blond (a build up of highlights and foils over many months) and the condition was not very good. After returning from holiday, my hair was even lighter ( due to too much sun ) and I decided that I would like to go back something nearer my natural colour which is mid - brown. I contacted a mobile hairdresser whome I had never used before as my usual hairdresser( at the salon) was fully booked for 2 weeks or so. Anyway this so called mobile hairdresser said that she was an advanced colour specialist, I trusted her(as we do) and unfortunetly she applied a brown colour straight over the bleached hair. I had no idea what she was doing as I didn't have a mirror in front of me. I had previously also asked her to cut my hair too ( big mistake) Anyway, you can guess the rest, I ended up with green very short hair. I was so depressed and unhappy and wished that I had just left it alone. I eventually got an appointment with my usual stylish ( who is a diamond) and she recoloured it using a warm reddish brown. There was little she could do about the cut though. She advised me not to have any more highlights put in it or anything and just to keep using a good moisture conditioner. I have been good and not touched any colour and concidering how I have previously treated my hair, its condition is not too bad at all ( I have very thick wavy hair which is course). However, I would like some highlights put in to break up the brown abit but am opting for a few scattered extensions instead of chemical applications. I do feel better about myself now but still don't have the confidence that I did have and is it my imagination or has anyone else found that other people treat you differently if your confidence has been knocked? I'm sure that I've noticed a change in the way that people perceive me. Anyway, thanks again girls for your support. Keep on reminding yourselves that its only hair and that there are solutions to most problems and having these boards to refer to is a god- send, there is so much valuable information here. Its cheered me up no end to hear from you both. Thank you.x