It sounds like your friend might be feeling badly about what happened.  Firstly, I'm sure she only offered to highlight your hair because she thought it would be a nice thing to do and that it would look great.  Remember, you did accept her offer.  She also tried to fix it for you (even though I know that didn't turn out either).  Perhaps she feels there is nothing more that she can do for you (to make your hair better) and she feels bad about that.  Whenever you bring it up, she only feels worse!

I totally understand how you would be feeling though.  I agree with pampinetta and I think you two should have a chat about it.  If the friendship is otherwise great and you consider her to be a very special person in your life, then you shouldn't let what happened ruin it.  Friends are too precious.

Thanks for the replys pampinetta and missrini.  I have talked to my friend about it and she has kind of blown me off with her answers as to why it happened. Here is the story - I had a really wonderful hairdresser who moved to a city 1 hour away.  I continued going to her for the first year after she moved, but then it got to be too much of a hassle, so I started going to another girl at the same salon my old one worked at.  She was great, but the she went on vacation to europe for 2 months.  So I was debating on driving the hour to go see Julile ( old hairdresser)  when my friend Rose told me she wanted to do my hair.  She has been asking me to let her do my hair for years, but I am very particular and didn't want to mix friendship with hair, incase I didn't like what she did.  Well I know it kind of offended her that alot of our friends would say "why doesn't Rose do your hair"  and I would just say because I am very picky and I already have a good hairdresser... so I finally decided to give her a chance, because she was bugging me about it so much.  I wanted a root touch up on my blonde hightlights and some lowlights as well.  Another stylist asked her if Rose wanted help and started applying a filler on the areas that were to get the dark lowlights.  (my old stylist NEVER did that)  anyway, Rose wasn't paying attention and the girl who was helping put filler in too many places and hence non of my hightlights came out!  THe result was blackish brown hair with little blondish gray strips of highlights and I looked like Elvira.  Well Rose went away for 6 days and when she came back, she put foil hightlights on top of the mostly black lowlights and the color came out this horrible bland blonde and now I have soo much damage. My hair used to be a beautiful blond much like Jessica Simpson's.

When I asked her what went wrong - she said that I kind of wanted a makeover and that's what happens to hair when you do that much to it.  Well, we never would have had to put my hair through all that if she friggin knew what she was doing.  And I didn't want a makeover - I even brought pictures from when I had lowlights in my hair.

So anyway,  we have talked about it like 5 times and each time she gives the impression that it was my fault because I wanted something different, but says she is sorry.  Well I guess I won't end the friendship but I don't want to talk to her for a few weeks.  I think I will just not call her and if she wants to talk she can call me.  I really can't be around her for a while.  THis whole thing has caused arguments with my boyfriend because he thinks I am overreacting and self centered about my hair.  I can't even cry to him because he thinks I am being a baby. I know that there are real tragedys in life and its just hair but I can't stop thinking about it.   It has been almost 4 weeks and I am making the trip to London to see Julie on Tuesday to see what she can do with the color and how much needs to be cut off.  I will post some pictures if anyone replys with interest.

Thanks so much for listening!  I hope to hear from you soon!