well in answer to Kuroneko this happend over a period of well i put in highlights for about 2 years, about twice a year..and it was around may this year that it all went wrong.

I think i might have some highlights put in, but im not sure about the contrast of really dark brown with highlights what do you guys think?

anyways whatever i do, im getting it done in a salon

You can either try to remove your current color now with Colorfix until your hair is light enough for you to put another color over it, or you can add highlights.  Red seems to be one of the toughest colors to avoid, believe me, I speak from experience.  You should stick to ash colors, and possibly add an ash intensifier (about 2 cm/1 in of the tube) if anything you put in your hair ends up reddish (which is my case). 

If you choose to go for the highlights, just add really thin ones, which should blend well with the rest of your hair so there won't be much contrast between the dark and light colors.  If you don't want your highlights too light though, you can always have your hairstylist use Colorfix (or whichever color stripper he/she might use) only where you plan to have the highlights, and then color over it with a color that's one shade or two lighter than your current hair color.

For future reference, any time you want to darken your hair from a lighter color, choose one shade lighter (ex.: you want a number 5 in your hair, use a number 6 instead) than the final color you want in your hair.  Usually, if your hair has been previously colored it'll be more porous and absorb the color faster, meaning it'll get darker than what you wanted.  Not only that, but also, it's best to darken it gradually so that you don't get a huge shock.  Also, you can always try lowlights first, before coloring your entire hair darker.

Hope this helps, good luck, and let us know what you've decided to do with your locks. ^^

is this "colourfix" only available in america?

i'm from the uk so i dont know whether they have colour strippers

because when i tried to get my hair stripped when it was black

the woman just bleached it with 40 vol peroxide

Unfortunately I don't know if haircolor stripper is exclusive to the U.S.  I now reside in Brazil and have yet to find a color stripper here (though I have not looked for one since I still haven't had the need for it), so I don't know.  You can try folica.com though, they ship outside the U.S., also I have read in this forum that you can find a Sally Beauty Supply (a store where they sell beauty products, and carry Colorfix) in London's Picadally Circus.  I'm not sure if you'll find it there, but give it a try.  Sorry, I didn't realize you were from the U.K., I plan to visit there sometime, been in lots of places in Europe but not the U.K. yet.  Here's the direct link to Colorfix:

http://www.folica.com/one__n_only_Col_d312.html - http://www.folica.com/one__n_only_Col_d312.html

Good luck with your locks and let us know how it turned out. ^^

Don't go back to the stylist that tried to bleach the dye out before.  Your hair has been through a lot, and is probably fragile, especially if it's long or has been full-head dyed rather than touched up at the roots.

I don't know much about dye removers, but there are threads about them all over the place.  Maybe read as many of those as you can to find out which ones are most recommended.

If you decide on highlights, you can have them done just a shade or two lighter than what you have currently, so it brightens up your look without being too harsh.

After you get your hair back to something you can live with, try to leave it alone for a while, or only do the roots and leave the rest alone for a while.