Is it me?
Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: African American Hair
Forum Name: African American Hair
Forum Description: Devoted to the special needs of African Americans.
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=39683
Printed Date: October 31 2025 at 4:13am
Topic: Is it me?
Posted By: TwinkletOes23
Subject: Is it me?
Date Posted: February 02 2006 at 11:24pm
| I have realized something.....I dont have very many blk friends the ones i do have are guys.I have only had one blk best girl friend and that was in highschool. I thought maybe i have shyed away from blk women because of the way i was treated in school (the town im from they didnt like me because i "acted white" ~rolls eyes~,but when i got to college I tried to be friends with several black girls in my school but we always seem to not get along. Even now i have black roomates and I only get along with one out of the three. The other two seem not to like me very much because we have nothing in common. They think its strange that i loathe fried chicken(too greasy for me) or any "soul food" for that matter(which is just sourthern food) i,I dont like rap music or any MODERN R&B id much rather listen to Sublime than Kiesha Cole(sp?),I use hair products such as smoothing cremes and brilliant brunette shine serums and according to them its not for "blk hair" ...I mean I didnt really grow up in a community full of black people. My mom says that in order to get along with "my sistas" I have to fake being "black" how do I fake that I am black? My mom also says that the culture is different i just dont see it arent we all people i mean am i less blk because i like ska rather than rap, I dont wear apple bottom clothing and I dont buy something for my hair just because it says its for Blk hair (i look at ingredients b4 i buy) I mean really some help here? I have been told there are severl blk girls like me in california and I just get grief from blk girls cos im in the south that cant be it wither can it? Plz some help |
Replies:
Posted By: R2D2inoz
Date Posted: February 02 2006 at 11:49pm
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I wouldn't worry too much about it. Who says we have to get along with every single other black person just because we are black? We have different personalities too - not just white people. White people don't all like the same music either. Plenty of people on this board use products that white people often use just because it works. Sometimes white people use our products - my sister had a white friend who used Luster Pink Oil because her hair was extremely dry when she was pregnant. You don't need to fake being black (which is a stereotype in itself). Just be yourself and people will be attracted to the natural you and you will find the people with whom you have something in common. Maybe if you are trying too hard to make someone like you they can sense it and are not sure what to make of you? ------------- Natural 10 years 3b/4a armpit length hair |
Posted By: cmesweet
Date Posted: February 03 2006 at 2:20am
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Black is a color NOT an attitude/behavior. You will not get along with everyone because everyone has various personalities. Don't fake who you are...get along with the people you get along with and befriend you. I grew up in a diverse community where every race lives in the same area, let alone the same block, it doesn't make me any less of a person or any less African American. If you can't get along with someone whether he or she is black white purple or aqua blue...then that particular person is not someone you should be hanging with. That simple! ------------- Natural BC May 9, 2004 |
Smile.Posted By: TwinkletOes23
Date Posted: February 03 2006 at 9:11am
| thanks guys i knwo this wasnt aboutn hair but thatnks for replying....oh btw a tid bit dont use tresseme hot oil treatment in contains alcohol dent. I read it just now and im returning it to walmart todayto buy suave (it seemed to have better ingredients in it and its cheaper) :) |
Posted By: Renata22
Date Posted: February 03 2006 at 5:46pm
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Girl, you sound kinda like me. I have all of the Smashing Pumpkins CD's, Counting Crows, etc. I love reggae, too. All of my friends seemed to be Indian, Bangladeshi, or Japanese, and of those, 90% were guys. Anyways, what's that about "faking" being black? That's the silliest thing I've heard ever. My sister says I don't "act" black. Why do I have to "act" it, when I am black? LOL What you are isn't and shouldn't be about "acting". If I wanted to act, I'd live in Hollywood. The problem is that so many people (black, white, chinese, etc.) have a preconceived notion (ie, stereotype) and expect you to embody that. It's not that you're "not black enough". It's that you don't act like what the television and the movies tells us black is. Interestingly enough, most of the people who tell me I don't act "black enough" are the same people who hate African people and use derogatory terms to describe black people, when I have them as friends (was engaged to one before). Any real friends, regardless of their age or race, will only want you to be YOU. If they need you to act a certain way to be close to them, it's not really YOU they want as a friend, but your act. ------------- Hair type: who knows? Length: 23 inches as of 3/10/06 MY HAIR IS OFFICIALLY BRA STRAP LENGTH!! Goal: Waist Length, which is only 30 inches so ADVISE ME ON HOW TO GET JUST 7 MORE INCHES OF GROWTH! |
Posted By: misty60820
Date Posted: February 03 2006 at 8:28pm
 BE YOURSELF!! It will save you a lot of heartache and confusion in the long run. My brother and I had the exact same conversation the other day... we were talking about how some blacks feel that you have to act a certain way, talk a certain way, listen to only certain types of music, wear your clothing a certain way and so on... I went through the same drama when I was going to school. I tended to hang with the people that showed me respect and some blacks did not like that and called me "white"... I get along with people that respect me and I give them the same respect back regardless of the color of your skin. As long as you are comfortable with who you are, do no sweat it. You will be judged your whole life for not doing or acting a certain way from others and they will have to just deal with it. I would not change who you are to accomodate to others stereotype of who you need to be just because you are black. Your real friends will accept you for who you are and not try to make you their "image" of what black is. I refuse to "act" a certain way to fit in with individuals... you just have to be true to yourself no matter what others think. It will be hard but it is the right thing to do. If you do what others want you to do, you will just be one confused person waiting for orders from the same individuals to tell you what else you need to change about yourself in order to be accepted by them. It would be one senseless life.  If your hair routine is working for YOU and YOU are satisfied with the results, then that is all that matters. I hope that this helps.... I am hitting 31 in a few weeks and I have learned the hard way that you need to be true to yourself and not change for certain individuals because they don't feel you are being true to your race. Good luck and take care Twinkle
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Posted By: kally
Date Posted: February 04 2006 at 6:18pm
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Girl, you have got to be you and screw anyone who does not like you for being you. I also like all kinds of different music and nor have I ever been that fond of soul food. I hate the fact that in doing so many people feel that I am less worthy then they are just because I do not "only " like rap and R&B or soul food. It is sad how society feels that due to your ethnic back ground you have to like the same things. ------------- "God makes no mistakes" he created you the way you are suppose to be. |
Posted By: L281173
Date Posted: February 04 2006 at 10:13pm
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Ignore those ignorant folks. Cherish yourself for the wonderful intelligent African American Queen that you are!! ------------- one classy, sassy female |
TwinkletOes23 wrote: