My (former) hair stylist always made slightly snide comments about how long my hair had gotten since the last time she had seen me.  I haven't been to a hardresser for well over a year now as I have never had a haircut that I liked.  Long + curly hair seems to be an issue lots of stylists just can't handle.

Now that I do s+ds and micro trims my hair (and ego) are a lot happier and healthier

The girl who cut my hair was always really good about me growing it and always complimented it's length. When I had to get another layer to get rid of some chlorene/sun damage she persuaded me not to go as short as I wanted.

Now I do it myself because it's easier and cheaper.

My experience with stylists overall has not been good. Most stylists commented on how thin and dry my hair is and encouraged me to keep it short. I had one good stylist years ago who cut it short (at my request) and told me I had beautiful hair and that if I wanted to grow it long, I should do so. So I guess it's good I had that one positive experience......oh, and PurpleBubba is always so supportive, he's a stylist, right?

Mostly, no.  But then again, it is their professional interest to keep customers coming in.  And what easier way than to push shorter hair styles that have a shorter 'shelf life' so to speak and that requires more updating.  And I am wondering if it is less work for them to simply cut to a particular shorter style rather than work with the  longer hair curl and structure.  Saw one episode of 'What Not to Wear' and this blond girl insisted on keeping her length and the stylist Nick ended up doing a great job shaping it.  But he complained about all the work he had to do!

However, there were long-haired riendly stylsts out there willing to work with longer hair, l might consider going to them.

It seemed every time I went in for a trim I cut way more cut off than I wanted.  There was one I really like who told me " I cant glue it back on, so we will cut a little.  If you want more off, we can always cut it again." I like that philosophy, but she moved away.  I found another who was good the first time I saw him , but on the second trim......he messed up big time.  NOW, no trims at all for me for a long long time.  So I dont think most of them really are supportive.  Not the ones I've met anyhow.

My hairdresser is a mix. When I see her she will exclaim over how long and pretty my hair hair is but she would prefer for me to trim it more often and get more cut off (only an inch!!??? What´s the point in that!!!???" My mum (who goes to the same hairdresser-she has a short bob that requires frequent trimming) tells m how the hairdresser will tell her that my hair really needs cutting. That annoys me. She doesn´t want it to be short but definiton of the time between trims (6 weeks) and mine (a year or so) is slightly different!

I have only had to "fire" one hairstylist and that was over a year ago.  She admired my patience for maintaining my hair so well, but would always tell me that my hair was in need of an update.  When she took off 3 inches when I asked for a 1 inch trim, she got the boot and I never went back again!

The stylist I see now is great, although I do see her often.  She respects what I want for my hair.  Butttt......last time I was there she informed me she is moving to Ontario in May.  She has invited me in to meet a new girl, but I haven't went in to see her yet.\

~Den

My stylist has been very supportive. She only trims exactly what I ask her to.

I think it's important to find a stylist that you like and stick with them. I also believe in tipping well if your stylist does a good job!

I think hair stylists listen mostly when you make it clear exactly what you want.  If you know what you want you won't be pressured by them.

But in my experience, most hair stylists do pressure you to cut it off.  Shorter styles require more maitanence haircuts to keep the style.  But longer styles do not require as much haircuts if hair is kept healthy.  My hairstylist wanted me coming in all the time for trims even when it was long....so I think they just have a business to run and do what is necessary to keep customers coming back.

But from a stand point that I have ruined my hair being really stupid....my hairstylists have helped me fix my hair.  So...I don't think they are always bad....they just are running a business like everyone else.  I think hairstylists listen when the customer is VERY clear exactly what they want.

My usual hairdresser has waist length hair and is always drawing attention to it by throwing it over her shoulder, wrapping it around her neck etc.  She was the one who encouraged me to grow out a short layered style and I'm really pleased about that. 

BUT  I never see anyone in her salon with hair much longer than shoulder length.  When mine reached that length she started to make comments about it needing more shape.  I'm still trying to grow out disgusting hair dye, so am carrying on with trims.  But when the dye has all gone, I'm going to grow it a few more inches. 

Another girl did my hair recently because my usual hairdresser was away.  She was excellent and put a lot of effort into it.  However, her own hair was short.  When I mentioned long hair, she was VERY forthright about how she doesn't think it looks good on people.

I think there is a lot of truth in what people say about hairdressers protecting their income.  Mine wasn't happy when I stopped having it dyed and made lots of comments that would have swayed a lot of women into using dye again.  She's given up now though!

Sugarloaf wrote: My usual hairdresser has waist length hair and is always drawing attention to it by throwing it over her shoulder, wrapping it around her neck etc.  She was the one who encouraged me to grow out a short layered style and I'm really pleased about that.  BUT  I never see anyone in her salon with hair much longer than shoulder length.  When mine reached that length she started to make comments about it needing more shape.

Well, doesn't that say a lot?  If she really believed what she said, why would she have waist-length hair?

Sugarloaf wrote: Another girl did my hair recently because my usual hairdresser was away.  She was excellent and put a lot of effort into it.  However, her own hair was short.  When I mentioned long hair, she was VERY forthright about how she doesn't think it looks good on people.

Impaler Vlad wrote: BOOO! She's wrong! Pls Tell her short hair is the ultimate proof of bad taste. Not only for women, but for men, too!

Impaler Vlad - maybe you're having a bad day? You've seemed so positive in the past. I agree with Rini and Dave, this forum is a long hair board, but we try to be supportive and positive of everyone's choices and encourage folks in a friendly way. When you say you're right, you're kind of closing the door to people who may have different opionions and hair choices. Judging people for having short hair is the same as judging people for other reasons like their education level, the color of their skin, or their taste in music. We are all different, and as you like to say "blessed be" our differences.

I love my stylist! She does only what I ask her to do to my hair, and usually cuts LESS than I expect to have cut (She truly TRIMS hair, not CUT it). She even GIVES ME some of her products to use if she thinks it will benefit my hair. For instance, I was clueless about "heat protectants" for blow-drying my hair. She said that I really needed it, and gave me enough for 3-4 blow dries to last until I bought my own heat protectant. And her brand cost 13.00 a bottle. I don't blow dry often, so I still have some.

She will also tell me what NOT to get if I want something that won't agree with my end goals. For instance, I was thinking about having my hair dyed light/ash brown. My hair is jet black. She told me that to have my hair lightened at all will require a booster that's usually some kind of bleach, and it will be very dry and brittle when it's longer. I thought about having my hair cut blunt: she showed me where my shortest layer was and said that I would have to cut off everything below it, and asked me if I was sure I wanted that much cut (I didn't). She then told me that layers were best for my hair because it's very thick and heavy, and the layers lightened it enough to not be overwhelming... she knows that I'm not crazy about having heavy hair on my neck much in the summertime.

Of course, I live in Atlanta, and there are 2 salons in nearly every mall, and maybe 4 or 5 salons in my neighborhood alone. She knows that if she screws my hair up, it would be way too easy to find another one soon. I found her by walking into her salon, and could just as easily walk into someone else's salon.

She's so good that I've decided to get a wash/deep-condition/trim every other month or so for a couple of months to see if it will help my hair growth. I know she uses quality products, because the products I see her use are ones I've researched myself (and didn't get because of the cost).

She does multi-ethnic hair: trims, conditions, perms, relaxers, texturizers, color, cuts. So if anyone wants to know how to get in touch with her, let me know.

My only complaint is that she's 30 minutes away. But she's good enough that I would rather go to her than to the salon just across the street.

Insulting Dave reveals what type of person you truly are IV....I won't be sorry to see you go.

And Dave....

     Well, I know Dave doesn't need my support, but he is the moderator and his hard work should be appreciated by all. I've been the target of a few of his lectures, but so what? *Someone* has to draw the guidelines! The kind of board where the trashing of those whose POV's differ from yours is out there somewhere, IV. They are juvenile, but as everyone knows, adolescence extends indefinitely for some folks.

     No, I don't think that many stylists support one's desire to grow long hair. In fact, I think that most will overtly or covertly undermine the client's yearning for it. One never hears a bunch of guys complaining that a woman's hair is "overpowering" or "unprofessional". Tresses are so beautiful on most women that I suspect that for monetary reasons, a sort of "groupthink" brainwashing takes place in beauty schools, possibly to the point where new licensees actually believe that proseletyzing for funky short cuts actually is doing clients a favor! Blessings, Bob

Dave - great (and funny) post. Thanks for those apt responses. However, I don't think I'll be needing them in the future, as I have sworn off going to a stylist or salon for awhile. I think you know my experiences have all been pretty bad. Generally the stylist says something negative about both my color and my waves/curls. My sister (whose hair is similar to mine) goes to a good stylist down in the L.A. area - she calls him "the hair whisperer." I may have to check him out sometime when I'm visiting her!

Anne, you got that right.  It's hard, no, impossible for me to imagine a stylist making such a complaint.

Glad to hear that we were of help to you.

Miss Rini...   no need to worry, you've always been very kind and respectful to me.

Special Kitty, thank you.  Sometimes, even when you don't go to salons, criticisms float your way from well-intentioned (or, not so well-intentioned) acquaintances, family, colleagues, or strangers.  So it can't hurt to keep a few possible responses in the mental back pocket for future use.   Your sister's stylist sounds like a winner.  Details, please, if you ever visit with this "hair whisperer."

Thanks for the compliments. It's funny because I know the mentality of some of the stylists you make mention of and in talking to them, many have the attitude of if your over 30 or over 40 you can't have long hair and have it look beautiful. I totally disagree with that theory as I know people of all ages who can have beautiful, long healthy hair.....I think in our society there is a tendancy to think once a women hits a certain milestone age or has a life altering experience like the birth of a child they should just go for the typical mommy hairdo's etc.

As for long hair training it comes with experience. A stylist should always comb the hair with a widetooth comb or pick and start at the ends and work their way up to the roots. Many times hair snarls because the cuticle of the hair strand is damaged and that's the main cause of snarls in any hair....at any length. As for the industry embracing styling long hair....it's hard to say. Many of you with photos here have EXTREMELY long and I mean long hair. If you came to me for a haircut I would have you stand up while I did it...LOL!

Oh well here's to happy hair days for all!!!

Well in Miri's case no because when we went to get her hair trimmed she had her hair flat-ironed at home and the guy cut it before it was thoroughly wet down and dry, fine-combed it, and when Miri tryed to tell him how she wanted her hair he completely ignored her and cut it in a wierd shape with layers. But he was a quiet person and seemed nice enough. I guess the flat-ironing confused him.

Dave: no idea whatsoever