I can't believe that even hairdressers think that conditioning hair is only for white people.  What does she think we have?  Synthetic hair?  I wouldn't feel very confident with a hairdresser who makes remarks like that. 

Just ignore her and carry on as you are.  You are seeing the results in your hair and that is all that matters.  Remember, talk is cheap and no one who really knows their stuff about hair would agree with her. 

Twinkle... don't listen to what they say, listen to your hair!!!  If you are getting good results, keep it up!

As far as your stylist, you may not be in a position to change if your Mom takes you, so just be very clear about what you want from her...don't seem unsure, cause then she might think she knows better than you.  She may know hair, but she doesn'y know YOUR hair! 

 Twinkle -like everyone says that advice sounds offish - I agree with you all . This is exactly why i stopped going to the hairdresser for washing/ treatments years ago because of comments like this. I wash and deep condition my own hair and trust myself because at least any comments i make about my hair come from my mouth and i know the real deal about my hair. If it works for you and your hair is flourishing ,, then you go on and 'manipulate'.

I learned more about hair care from the forum than all those hairdressers i 've been too over the years.

To be honest i got a phobia about going the hairdressers now because my hair and scalp is in better condition since i''ve been doing it myself ( I go with my clean/conditioned hair to a friend of mine who does conrow if i choose to )

TwinkletOes23 wrote: Should i listen i mean my mom told her about it and she told her to tell me im not a white blonde and i cant just go around throwing conditioner in my hair... i told her thats not what i do. The night before i wash my hair i put a deep conditioner in and let  it soak in over night,rinse my hair ,and then go about my shampooing regimine..... she said it was too much manipulation but i dont know my hair comes out soft and managable when i do it should i listen to her?

I would only stop if your hair is making a turn for the worse.  If you see improvement, then why stop?

You want bad hairdresser's advice?  I had one tell me that I needed to come to him every week for a wash because my scalp was practically falling apart and he thought I wasn't washing my hair.  So I would have been paying for a wash, cap dryer, heat styling and whatever goop he used on my scalp every week, on top of what he charged for a relaxer every six weeks.  The problem wasn't that I wasn't washing my hair, it was that I had eczema.  I never took his advice.  I'm glad I didn't.

Want more?  I had a hairdresser tell me that olive oil and brushing was fanstatic for hair.  While I've no doubt that it is, her hair was short and natural.  Mine is relaxed, and olive oil made it insanely brittle, so I was too afraid to brush.  I didn't bother to start trying, either.  I stuck with sweet almond and jojoba, and my hair has loved me for it.

Bottom line?  Stick with what works for YOUR hair.  Your hairdresser probably means well, but she doesn't know everything.   And by the way, what does HER hair look like? 

I'm scared of any hair dresser that is willing to slap a relaxer in every client's head without examining if they really need one.  I should have never gotten a relaxer in my youth!    My hair was fine, a blow out is all I needed.

Is there not a beauty school teaching these less conventional methods?  Oh, of course not, then stylist wouldn't make money. 

sounds like she's just trying to keep you from learning how to take care of your hair by treating it your self and keep  you relying on her advice and services.

Salonists tell people a lot of things they have no business saying.  I heard of one salonists who yelled at her client because she didn't want her ends trimmed any longer.  The fact of the matter is that they think they know best, but only you know what's truly best for you hair.  I co-wash my hair and I don't go to salons, and my hair has grown at least three to four inches.  Co-washing keeps your hair moisturized and soft.  If you want extra cleansing you can hit up an herbal rinse.  I rinse my hair with green tea, and it always leaves it feeling clean, but not dry.