im no good on the coloring of extension hair....so far, its always been too unpredictable for me :(
BUT, for my own hair.....its sorta been the same scenario that you have just described...bleached hair that's very porus on the ends that i've taken darker gradually over this past year
at first, when i put darker demi permanent color it faded quickly.....through trial (and definately error) i have it down to a science (remember, this is just my experience, i hope it helps you in some way but i am in no way a pro colorist !)
when i took my platinum hair to a darker blonde, i used GOLD protein filler in with the demi permanent hair color....about three applications of that, each applied several weeks apart, the color finally didnt fade away
next, taking darker blonde hair to light brown, RED protein filler mixed in with the demi permanent light brown color....it took and stuck right away :)
since your hair is already lightened and porus, the demi permanent color is actually acting as a permanent color because the hair is already 'open' to receive color...if you use a permanent color on that porus hair its just going to cause unnecessary damage and on top of that it will be just as likely to fade as the demi
anyway....good luck!
edit to add: here's a thread on hair color i think might help you too:
http://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=47480 - http://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=47480
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