But now, I'm just tired of fighting it so I think my curls have finally won.

 

SO...to the good stuff:

How do I get it to not look all poofy and volumized? I'm thinking of putting product in it and then into a bun for the night and see what it looks like in the morning? How does that sound? If anyone has any suggestions, that would help me so much! 

 

What is your hair like?  Length, texture, thickness, tightness of curl.....  healthy? dry? frizzy?  Do you have a pic you could share? 

 

I use aloe vera gel to tame mine.  Also, the healthier it is, the less frizz and fluff.

Sorry, it seems that my computer doesn't like me, so I can't really upload a pic, but I hope my description has helped!

 

I let my hair air dry most of the way and them smooth aloe vera gel all through it.  It helps the curls to take shape and lay smoothly.  I love it above all styling products!

 

The only other option I see is to have your hair thinned or cut into some style that'll take some of the bulk away.  BUT, I suggest finding a curly hair specialist to do this!  They've developed specific techniques for cutting curly hair. (you can read about this on naturallycurly.com)  Very different from cutting straight hair. 

 

You said it's extremely thick... what is the circumference of your ponytail?  Try giving it some time and trying some different things before getting it thinned or layered.  I would use that as a last resort.  Ultimately, whatever makes you happiest about your own hair is what is most important.

 

If you hold your (clean) hands together (or rub them together) for a short amount of time you'll notice they'll get warm and slightly "sweaty" / oily.  If you do this (maybe with a little pomade / gel) in your hands and then run them through dry hair, the oils / product from the palms transfers to the hair and you'll notice that after a couple of minutes the hair's curls will pull out without being frizzy.

 

As I write this, it sounds funny over the internet but it works if you try it.  I mostly styled hair with my hands and after a day of styling hair I always had some residue product in my hands which helped the process I'm describing.  Ever notice what happens when you play with someone's hair for a little while?  Same thing.

 

 

 

Are you talking about to condition the ends or to relax the curl?  That sounds like a great idea to condition but it doesn't sound like it would relax the curl very much.

 

 

Maybe that's why I never really cared for that method...... I always felt that it made my curls limp and flat.  (I never thought it anyone doing it to relax their curls.)

 

I apply oil or shea butter when my hair is freshly washed and still wet, never dry.