I read your post and felt I needed to respond because I've been there.
I've always had extremely thick curly hair, until I had my first child at 31 and gradually my hair began to loose its curl and thickness. It was extremely fragile and I had lost of hair fall. I cried most of the time, and tried silly mixtures like coconut oil, egg and mayo because I was afraid to use chemical-based shampoos and conditioners that dry out the hair more. But, no matter what I did, it just got worse. My hair didn't even have a glint of shine.
Usually hair problems like this have to do with lack of proper nutrition/vit, especially after having a baby. You can start taking flaxseed oil which is great for your skin and hair. As far as a quick fix, I can only offer a temporary solution that will help you feel better. It's a lot of product but it worked for me until my hair became healthier.
Use ABBA Cream Moist Shampoo and ABBA TrueMint Conditioner
Towel dry your hair by squeezing not rubbing
Use BODY INFUSION volume spray (great stuff)
Dry hair up-side-down with a diffuser
An additional product that I found but is a bit expensive is called Beautiful Hands
Go to Nativewild.com You can purchase it there. Put conditioner in your hand and a little of the oil and rub together before putting in your hair. You can also put just a bit in your hair before you get out of the shower. It give your hair a luster and makes it soft.
Good luck
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