Verse 1
Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: 360 Waves
Forum Name: Men's 360 Waves - Part II
Forum Description: About 360 Waves
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=53068
Printed Date: August 10 2025 at 8:18am
Topic: Verse 1
Posted By: StarBaller22
Subject: Verse 1
Date Posted: May 24 2007 at 5:02pm
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i kno this is off topic but hear me out and tell me wut u think....
(this is only verse 1 and i'm a NOVICE)
HER
She makes me weak when I walk
my voice creeks when I talk
Dam she's such a dyme
it's like she committed a crime
No son, don't think dat I'm lyin'
she'll have ur heart weepin' and cryin'
Worst mistake I made was sleepin'
when I shoulda been tryin'
to meet er heart to heart
wit da game dat I spit
usin' extracurricular wit
to get this chick that be fit.
I composed this on my ride to school ------------- still holdin' b-boy crown @ school |
Replies:
Posted By: Gvyll
Date Posted: May 24 2007 at 5:04pm
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good.but some stuff sounded like u said it just to rhyme ------------- <a href="http://imageshack.us"> 
http://imageshack.us"> 
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Posted By: StarBaller22
Date Posted: May 24 2007 at 5:05pm
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yea.....i kno....i'm tryin' to break dat habit ------------- still holdin' b-boy crown @ school |
Posted By: dutchmasterz04
Date Posted: May 24 2007 at 8:42pm
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Is it a poem or a rap? Sounds like a decent poem if its a track den it sounds like your an abc rapper. Basically just compiling words that rhyme. ------------- |
Posted By: King Cash
Date Posted: May 24 2007 at 9:07pm
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yea that's true^ but he's a novice (everyone starts of as an ABC rapper). The best thing to do is to have what you wanna say in mind then just make it rhyme. it'll come easier after a while tho. Oh and try learning to use a Multisyllabic flow (not rhyming one syllable words. like bird and heard). Try something like this. ummm: Girl you won't FIND ANOTHER cuz I'm the KIND OF BROTHER
That'll make ya heart melt and turn ya SPINE TO RUBBER ------------- http://www.picoodle.com/view.php?img=/3/12/8/f_sigma008m_7947f3e.jpg&srv=img37"> 
Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc |