My Boyfriend Hates My Hair
Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: General Hair Talk
Forum Description: A free wheeling discussion of hair related topics.
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=5637
Printed Date: August 04 2025 at 12:56am
Topic: My Boyfriend Hates My Hair
Posted By: tarheelgal_5
Subject: My Boyfriend Hates My Hair
Date Posted: April 17 2002 at 5:16pm
I need some advice. A few months ago, I had my long (shoulder blade length) hair cut into an asymmetrical bob (chin length on one side, over the ear on the other). I had been wanting to make a big change for a long time and finally got up the nerve and am happy I did because I have enjoyed the new style. It`s a bit unique and I like that about it. The problem is my boyfriend. I didn`t tell him that I was thinking of making a change and basically surprised him with it one day. He really liked my long hair, but he seemed to like the new style ok, too. However, after I brought it up, he recently told me that he really doesn`t like my asymmetrical bob and would rather see me cut it short all over and grow it back out. I really don`t know what to do - I`ve been thinking about going ahead and cutting it and letting it grow. After all, I want to look my best for him and it`s not like he`s demanding that I get it cut - he was really sweet about it and told me that it`s my hair and that I should do what I want. I`m just torn, though - I`m only 25 and like having a hairstyle that`s different from the norm. Has anyone else changed their hair for their boyfriend/spouse? Do you think I will resent it later? If I do get it cut, I want to do something that still has an edge to it. Are there any suggestions for a short cut that might really stand out? Thanks for any and all advice!
|
Replies:
Posted By: Lyris
Date Posted: April 17 2002 at 10:23pm
Hi! Your hair should be your decision. It doesn`t sound like your boyfriend`s demanding you cut it but really, do what YOU want. You said you want to look your best for him....well perhaps you should try to look your best for YOU. It`s your hair--you have to style it, wear it, live with it. Make sure whatever style you pick is the one that makes you happiest when you look in the mirror.
As for a cool short cut, consider how any given style would look with your face shape/hair texture, and discuss your options with a trusted stylist. I have gotten into the habit of tearing out photos from zines of cuts I like....so when I finally chop my hair off I can hand the picture to my stylist. Until that time, MY boyfriend has to live with my long hair....like it or not. :-) Good luck with your decision, but don`t worry too much about it since it is *just* hair. :--)
-------------
Look for beauty, and you will find no intelligence. Look for intelligence and you will find both.Proud member of the Cult of All Soft
|
Posted By: duke
Date Posted: April 18 2002 at 1:49pm
Ultimately it`s your hair and you should do what you want with it. But it`s nice if you can
please your girl/boyfriend with your looks. What I suggest, and I repeat that I don`t
believe you are under any obligation, is that you measure how much this style means
to you. If your boyfriend`s being pleased would not make you unhappy, change the
stle. Ask him what he likes - maybe he doesn`t mind it being short, just the assymetrical
part. Is there a symmetrical equivalent to your bob that you`d be willing to try?
-------------
|
Posted By: duke
Date Posted: April 18 2002 at 1:49pm
Ultimately it`s your hair and you should do what you want with it. But it`s nice if you can
please your girl/boyfriend with your looks. What I suggest, and I repeat that I don`t
believe you are under any obligation, is that you measure how much this style means
to you. If your boyfriend`s being pleased would not make you unhappy, change the
stle. Ask him what he likes - maybe he doesn`t mind it being short, just the assymetrical
part. Is there a symmetrical equivalent to your bob that you`d be willing to try?
-------------
|
Posted By: tarheelgal_5
Date Posted: April 18 2002 at 5:04pm
I can`t really think of anything that`s similar enough to the style I have now. The more I think about it, the more receptive I am to the idea of getting it cut short all over. One of the reasons I went from long hair to the asymmetrical bob was to get a feel for short hair, since I haven`t had short hair since grade school. I`ve seen one cut I`d like to try if I can get up my nerve. It was in a hairstyle magazine - the model`s hair was buzzed on the sides (not so close that you could see the scalp) part of the way up - the rest was razor cut to blend with the top, which was short and spikey. I think it would be neat to have a cut like that - especially with summer coming up. I think I could pull it off - it looked great on the model. My only concern is that I`m afraid a lot of people would think I was a lesbian. Any thoughts/suggestions?
-------------
|
Posted By: felix
Date Posted: April 18 2002 at 5:17pm
^ *sigh* that does seem to be a problem in the States. A cut like that would be considered "normal" in Europe. I`ve seen people here talk about "short hair" when they are talking about what I know as "semi-long".
Perhaps you should ask your hairdresser to make sure it doesn`t look "too butch"...
Anyway, you should do what you feel is good, not what other people feel is good. IMHO, there are worse things in life than being mistaken for a lesbian.
-------------
-f
|
Posted By: tarheelgal_5
Date Posted: April 18 2002 at 10:11pm
I hope I didn`t offend anyone by saying that I wondered if I would be mistaken for a lesbian if I had my hair buzzed. Unfortunately, it seems to be that way here in the south - where big hair rules! I can`t really say anything, though, because I`ve had big hair too. I had it all through high school and college until my recent change. It`s relatively rare here to see many young women my age (25)with a trendy, short hairstyle (I mean really short). I haven`t traveled much - I would be interested in seeing how other parts of the country are, hairstyle wise. Maybe I could start a trend here in NC! :o)
-------------
|
Posted By: loveshorthair
Date Posted: April 19 2002 at 11:07pm
There are several short styles that don`t look "butch". Of course, the success of a short look depends on your face...
Here are some pics that might help you
3820 (my favorite)
3928
4290
5030
-------------
|
Posted By: tarheelgal_5
Date Posted: April 20 2002 at 12:07am
Thanks for the suggestions! Of those, I like 3298 and 5030 the best. However, a perfect example of the style I`m considering is 4664 - I really like that cut, though I don`t know that I`ll have the nerve to go that short! Another one I like is 4276 - but I wouldn`t want the top to be that long. Of those two, which do you prefer?
-------------
|
Posted By: ssjockey
Date Posted: April 20 2002 at 1:37am
4664 is quite adventurous, and if you are the confident type, you should be able to pull it off with no problem.
The advantage of 4276, however, is that if you don`t like it, you could still get 4664. But if you don`t want it so long on the top, then you have answered your own question. Get 4664!
Good luck!
-------------
|
|