Not LF topic,,but didn't no where else to go,,
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Printed Date: April 29 2024 at 3:47pm
Topic: Not LF topic,,but didn't no where else to go,,
Posted By: alabamakim
Subject: Not LF topic,,but didn't no where else to go,,
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 9:24am
Morning Ladies,,
I need to vent. I'm at work this morning(I work for the state),, two of my patients are pregnant teen sisters, 13yrs and 15yrs
 . Now I've been seeing this more frequent lately, teens 16yrs and under, but these are not one but TWO of this women(the mother) babies. So I'm really looking at the mother like what happen, was their any possible way we could have prevented this. I mean, I know kids and sneaky, think they know everything, but and this is coming from not a state worker, but a once teen mom, now mother of a teen girl, if you have suspect please seek some type of birth control. Do yall know that lady looked at me like, I had lost my damn mind . She said, very smart and igg-nant like"Well, I tol dem, no mo partyin and clubbin for dem. I aint stayin home to watch they babies. I had mine when I was young and I tol dem it's gonna be hard. But, I new they was up to sumthin, and when the 13yrs old said her bleeding didn't come down in two months,
 I knew then. |
Replies:
Posted By: JLTabron
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 9:38am
Hey Alabamakim,
I know that you are truly frustrated after hearing that mess
 Girl say a prayer for them, help them anyway that you can, and keep on moving. It is so sad to young lives being altered dramatically before they even have a chance to live. The mothers response tells you exactly how the two girls got into the situation. Keep your head up and pray, pray real hard. |
alabamakim wrote:Posted By: alabamakim
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 9:42am
 The mother's is in the waiting room talking stupid as I type, Arrrrrrrrrrr shut her, a## up please "I'm a keep them babies at night only if they aint spoil, cus I no they got school the next day. She (15yrs old) gonna have a boy, cus I can tell how she carrying. Yall girls, tell-um the babies names. I'm make sure them babies have what my six children didn't have.
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Posted By: Curlygirl11
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 9:52am
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*sighs and SMDH*
I know that feeling girl, when someone (like that mom) says something so stupid that you're just left scratching your dang head cuz a tactful response is just not within your mental reach cuz you're too busy trying to hold those curse words hostage that are trying to fight their way out of your mouth. Trust me.....I know. And what the heck does she mean she told them to stop clubbin ?!?!.....since when in the hell do a 13 and 15 year old get into a club unless they're dressed up like hoochie's and have fake i.d.'s ? That mom is "ignant" beyond words and I guess she can't teach her kids somthing she never learned.
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Posted By: kalenjin
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 9:55am
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Posted By: candygrl2467
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 10:15am
 . There is no point in even talking to her. LMAO at her saying I told them no more clubbing..... ummmm since when do you allow your 13 years old daughter to go clubbing? She is why they are in this situation.
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Posted By: chyna_li
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 10:21am
| um. they all deserve each other. the cycle will only repeat itself again. |
Posted By: Curlygirl11
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 10:29am
| On the real though...we all need to start praying for those unborn children right now because they are about to be born into some straight mess !! |
Posted By: charmed
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 10:47am
| wow... that last statement from the "mother" is reflective of what I see in alot of today's parents. it's like if it was good enough for me it's good enough for them... very sad and kim I don't envy you, working with people and trying to help them is a difficult job. please remember that there are some out there that you are helping and don't let the majority make you turn cold. |
Posted By: intl_babygirl
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 12:04pm
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WHAT !!! wht i dont get is they hand out free condoms & birthcontrol is free ... i have a little sister and the minute she turned 14 i told her if you need birth control let me know ... if you need condoms they are in the luichini shoebox at the bottom of the closet ... if not ask me for money to go buy these things cause too many diseases going round ...
on top of that .. my mother told her " you are not a bastard, so dont bring home none"
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Posted By: fakeizme
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 12:15pm
Yes, that must be it! I thought you were supposed to want BETTER for your kids? Ridiculous. This is what is contributing to the breakdown of society and unfortunately, there is no father there (or maybe there is?) to provide male support.
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Posted By: ShowStoppers
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 1:27pm
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ChynaLi, ITA! this is definitely a repeated cycle. |
Posted By: Shonita24
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 1:48pm
| So sad, but unfortunately if things don't change....this is our future! GOD HELP US |
Posted By: Breh
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 2:36pm
Really that is true. |
Posted By: MissHairGirl
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 3:13pm
I have to chime in on that comment. It is a repeated cycle, they are only doing what they see and have heard. They are truly products of thier enviornments.......They don't know that there is another way to live!
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Posted By: phillycutee
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 3:15pm
| One can only imagine the things you see working for the state. i recently got a job with the state myself, as an "income maintence case worker" READ "welfare case worker". I took the job becuase i want to help people, especially young women. I have a couple weeks until my training class, but hearing a story like this makes me feel just a bit discouraged. I'm thinking im propbrably gonna have to deal with stuff like that all the time, and how do you tell someone that they are not "livin' right" as my Nana would say. And you cant blame those poor gurls cause any mom that lets a little kid, go clubbin' should lose some of her parental rites. i mean for goodness sakes, abuse of children comes in ALL forms, not just beating on them, but not giving them the tools to live productive lives is wrong too. Thats THREE generations, that have gotten off to a terrible start. |
Posted By: LovelyLisa
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 3:30pm
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Wow! Ladies Ima tell you my true story. I have always tried to live in the suburbs. Thinking it would keep my kids safe and out of trouble. My now 18 year almost got caught up too! I had no clue that the gangs were in our area. You would never think by the expensive homes and area. Well my Son got pulled into the CRIPS in his Sr. year and as a Mom I freaked out! The difference is I quickly scooped him up and away! My Son now goes to college and is on the Dean list as a great student. He got Str8 A's in school, but it was the crowd he got involved with.
So all Im saying is don't ever think it can't happen to you, because it can! I am a very strict Mom and never thought one of my boys would go there.
So as a Mother even though they are doing very well in school and etc. you still got to keep a close eye on them. This world is just so dangerous!
I want to thank you for this topic because this was the hardest time of my life, but we made it! But it took me as a Mother to nip it in the bud as quickly and agressively as I could!
My Son thanked me for being hard on him! He said that he would either be in jail or dead if I would not have been on my JOB!
As far as the 2 young ladies, I blame the Mother! It shows that she just does not care! What the hell are these young girls doing at the club! WHAT!!!! Let alone partying!
I constantly preach to my Son and his GF that they must wear protection and she needs to be on pill if they are going to have sex! I told them that if she gets pregnant, I will be very upset and I am not raining another child, nor will I allow them to come shack up in my house!
I know this sounds cruel, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!
And I do not have a problem talking to the kids openly about sex!
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Posted By: Breh
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 3:37pm
That is true but there is always one child that will have enough will and drive not to fall in that cycle, like my husband. He grew up in a similar environment where there was nothing good around and just decided that he didn't want to live like that when he grew up. He is the only one in his family with a bachelors degree and will have his Masters in Nuclear Engineering in Aug. He is very driven, but it is sad because the other members of the family are just content on living like that. We both are college educated with and will have degrees beyond a bachelors. It just breaks my heart. We try to be the positive role models for his nieces and nephew, but there is only so much that we can do. Those kids see their mother every day and not us and hopefully they will not fall into the cycle also. |
Posted By: charmed
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 3:40pm
| thank you for sharing that lisa, and you are right it can happen to anyone but the difference is involved parents vs uninvloved. we can't stop our children from acting out but we can certainly intervene. 14/15 partying, in a club, OUTSIDE after 9pm (and that is a stretch for me) is too much. but it starts with parenting and the parent accepting the responsiblity of that role. (jmo) |
Posted By: ash8419
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 4:02pm
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Posted By: Shonita24
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 4:27pm
that is such an awesome story....my oldest is 16 and I stay on him like white on rice. It is up to us a parents to raise our children and not allow the world to do it....my son has been getting bad grades in school and sometimes I want to just give up (being a single mom and all)but I keep telling myself, God nor my parents gave up on me and I was a pistol (lol) so I just have to keep it pushing and continue to be that strong mom. Thanks for sharing lovely!
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Posted By: happydesta
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 5:34pm
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Lisa you are so right it can happen to anyone. My roommate in boarding school got pregnant and got kicked out of school because refused to have an abortion. I was shocked because she came from a very wealthy WASPY family. But like you said parents play a major role in a child’s life and hers were totally clueless about anything that did not require a checkbook. However they were quick to blame me and even tired to cause me financial trouble |
Posted By: Curlygirl11
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 9:31pm
I'm glad you posted this Lisa because this is such a fallacy and a LOT of parents buy into it. I work in law enforcement and I cover several VERY nice suburban areas of California where the average home values are between $700,000.00 and $2,000,000.00 and you would not believe the outrageous mess I encounter every single day! First off, there is a disproportianately high number of sex offenders in the "richer" cities I work in and a LOT of drug use because people have the expendible income to buy all the drugs they want. All the things you see in the ghettos (residential burglaries, vehicle theft, car jacking, home invasion robberies, gang violence, domestic violence, assault with a deadly weapon, etc,) are also present in the suburbs.....it's just more covert and people have their heads in the sand because they figure "I live in a safe neighborhood". Most of the families I encounter seem absolutely shocked that a judge would sentence their family member to 10, 15 or 20 years in state prison for commiting the same felonies that occur in the ghettos. Some of them honestly think they will be treated differently because they come from affluent neighborhoods or because they hired an expensive attorney.....that is soooo not true.
Congradulations to you Lisa
and thank God for "mean moms". I'm glad you didn't stick your head in the sand because your son would have paid the price. I'm sure your son thought you were the meanest mom ever when you were riding him but he has NO idea how lucky he is that you cared enough to be what a lot of kids would consider a "mean mom". I think the reason so many kids today run around today looking like they have no home training is because so many parents nowadays want their kids to see them as the "cool mom" or the "cool dad" so they don't provide the structure and discipline that their kids need. If there were more parents like you there would be far fewer men coming out of prisons with HIV. The same gang members that are their homies on the streets are the very ones that initiate them into prison by raping them once they've received a lengthy prison sentence. The older your son gets the more he will understand what you were really saving him from and the more grateful he will be. |
Posted By: Walk Softly
Date Posted: April 08 2008 at 10:25pm
Girl, I know exactly how you felt! I see it all the time. . . some of these kids are goodness and light by day, but by night? You would never guess they are having drug parties, sex parties, and everything else. You can watch, preach, role model and everything else, you can give them a good foundation, but you can't give them a SOUL. . . it's what they come here with too. But definately you can TRY, and that mother sounds like she didn't give a flip at all! Straight up neglect!
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Posted By: LovelyLisa
Date Posted: April 09 2008 at 6:56am
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Thank you Ladies.
I praise all the women who are on their JOB! I know it gets hard and lord knows sometimes I want to just pack my bags and roll! but the love I have for my little family means more to me than life itself!
Thanks again for this posting this thread!
 I never shared this experience with anyone because it was just too hard at the time! So this was right on time!
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Posted By: Clueless77
Date Posted: April 09 2008 at 9:39pm
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All of you have been an inspiration to me as well. |