Do you ever feel ashamed of giving so much attention to your hair?
Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: Long Hair Happenings
Forum Name: Long Hair Support
Forum Description: Growing it long takes commitment and support.
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=677
Printed Date: July 30 2025 at 3:28am
Topic: Do you ever feel ashamed of giving so much attention to your hair?
Posted By: Tódia
Subject: Do you ever feel ashamed of giving so much attention to your hair?
Date Posted: June 24 2003 at 2:38pm
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i mean, do you ever get this feeling, that it`s a bit selfish to give away so much money for hairproducts and spending so much time maintaining your hair? and sorry for my bad english again... ------------- Annette |
Replies:
Posted By: princessmonica
Date Posted: June 24 2003 at 3:04pm
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i do feel guilty myself. i want the good products for my hair, when i know my money could go towards something else. ------------- http://www.msnusers.com/monicasanders - http://www.msnusers.com/monicasanders |
Posted By: uzma
Date Posted: June 24 2003 at 3:16pm
Hmmmm…let me think………………..*thinks*……………………………...nope  !!!!Allow me to qualify that: Hair is not just stuff that sprouts on the top of my head. It has a deep significance to me. It is valuable in indescribable ways – the stuff of dreams and desire. As such, I nurture and care for it as I would any other precious thing. I could not abandon a thing I love. I don’t spend very much on products. About the equivalent of $10 per month at most on various oils, herbs, flower-waters and clays. As for time, my hair commands about 20 minutes of attention a day, max. I spend much more time just staring into space and contemplating the universe, every day  . I was ashamed of my hair for many years. It was short for a long time, and in my mind this equated to “de-natured”. I felt like I had been crippled. Growing and caring for long hair is a reclamation and a healing, an affirmation and an unbridled joy. So I don’t feel selfish, self-indulgent or extravagant when it comes to my hair. On the contrary, I finally feel that I am acting on a deep instinct to manifest ultra-long hair in as beautiful and healthy a condition as I am able. Thank you for such an interesting question, Todia. I would like to hear your personal answer to your own question, too. ------------- Uzi |
Posted By: 3katz
Date Posted: June 24 2003 at 6:21pm
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Hi Todia and all, I don't feel ashamed of wanting long hair, either. I find by taking better care of my hair, I take better care of myself via eating more nutritiously, taking vitamins, etc. I do buy quite a few hair toys, but I justify this as my one vice. I don't really spend a lot on hair care products. It all evens out; I water down my shampoo a lot, and I use cheap conditioner, which works okay for me. Not only do I enjoy the feeling of my longer hair; oh joy, oh rapture, oh happiness unforetold  it is finally long enough to get in my way when I'm getting dressed, sleeping, and when it's hot outside. It's only fifteen inches long, but I am enjoying the process. The best part is feeling like I'm getting back at all those people I let discourage me because I was too young and afraid to stick up for myself: my ex mother-in-law who thought I needed *practical* hair (who in he** wants to be practical when she's nineteen, I ask you?) , the military (self-explanatory), a couple of mommy cuts and the feeling that I *had* to cut it because I turned thirty. For me, it's all part of a larger campaign to be truer to myself, and part of the process to be a much nicer person. When it first started getting a little longer, I thought people responded more positively to me because of it, and maybe that's somewhat true. Some of it's a different attitude on my part. It's all positive. It's funny, too, that in ten years my husband has never (bless him) expressed a preference how I should wear my hair (well, it's not as if it would do him any good); and even though he still doesn't say anything, I think he likes it, and that he's fascinated by the whole process of it. He said he liked a particular clip I was wearing, and I catch him playing with my hair when he thinks I'm too busy to notice. It is a good question and I'm glad you posted it; it makes me wonder what's going through your mind, though. Once more, I have rambled on and onnnnn... Jean |
Posted By: tina m
Date Posted: June 24 2003 at 8:35pm
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Unlike Uzma, who feels "denatured" with short hair, I wear my hair very short and I like it this way, so I don't need to spend much time with my hair. But aren't we all a little vain, just in different ways? I am vain about my makeup and jewelry, especially when I go out. I like to wear nice clothes. I like wearing lingerie. Even my hair, though it is very short and I spend very little time on it, has to be cut just right. .....I have my hair trimmed every three weeks by a woman hairdresser who is a friend of mine and who gives me a "regular customer" discount. I want my hair to look exactly how I want it. Isn't everyone a little vain? It is only a problem if you become too vain about it; like believing you are super cool or beautiful, or worrying about your looks too much. My trick is to just not think about it too much. Just make yourself look nice, cut your hair how you want to -(or grow it long like you want to)-, and then don't worry about it. There really is more interesting things than hair. Even on these hair boards we always seem to chat with each other about other things don't we? Hair is just the subject that leads us into other interesting topics!  ------------- tina |
Posted By: Tódia
Date Posted: June 25 2003 at 6:37am
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Hi! i sometimes feel ashamed of spending so much money (about 20 euro a month) for hairproducts. like monica, i want to buy good products for my hair, so i can keep it long, but here in finland good hairproducts are quite expensive... on the other hand, i don`t spend much money on make-up, because i rarely use it, and i also donate money for charity. i love my long hair, i just couldn`t imagine myself with short hair, and i want to keep it healthy. but i guess i could try more natural haircare, like uzma does. ------------- Annette |
Posted By: Tódia
Date Posted: June 25 2003 at 6:41am
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Hi! i sometimes feel ashamed of spending so much money (about 20 euro a month) for hairproducts. like monica, i want to buy good products for my hair, so i can keep it long, but here in finland good hairproducts are quite expensive... on the other hand, i don`t spend much money on make-up, because i rarely use it, and i also donate money for charity. i love my long hair, i just couldn`t imagine myself with short hair, and i want to keep it healthy. but i guess i could try more natural haircare, like uzma does. ------------- Annette |
Posted By: tina m
Date Posted: June 25 2003 at 9:37pm
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Is spending money on products taking care of your long hair worse than spending money on cigarettes, booze, pot, expensive clothing, expensive jewelry? .....And short haired women like myself spend less money on hair care but more on haircuts keeping our hair just so. I wouldn't feel any guilt about it. Besides, people have to make the haircare products, it creates jobs, it is good for the economy. I can understand though why people would want to use hair care products that are considered environmentally safe. THAT IS something to consider, and we could all do a little better on that issue!!! ------------- tina |
Posted By: SuperGrover
Date Posted: June 26 2003 at 11:26pm
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OK, I wouldn't say I feel ashamed of giving so much attention to my hair, but I must say it makes me a little nervous. Ever since I was very little... I have no idea where I got this notion from... but I noticed that whenever I started to love a possession too much, I would lose it or it would break or something would take it away somehow. And I figured it was because we should never "love" anything material. I think it was Mother Teresa who said we should love people and use things, but too often we love things and use people. So I try not to become too attached to any material possession, but it still happens... so sometimes I worry that because I am so attached to my hair, maybe someday I'll have cancer and lose it to chemo. Which is an awful thing to think. And likewise, I've become really attached to my car, so sometimes I worry that I may have a really bad accident in it.  But these aren't fears that plague me constantly... just things I think about from time to time. ------------- "Hair is a part of you. It is not a part of me, because I am a frog." - Kermit the Frog on Sesame Street1b/N/ii ~ ??"/27"/32" |
Posted By: tina m
Date Posted: June 26 2003 at 11:46pm
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If you have cancer Super Grover , your lack of hair will be the least of your worries. ------------- tina |
Posted By: SuperGrover
Date Posted: June 27 2003 at 11:47am
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Yeah I know... But I mean that my being too attached to my hair would cause the cancer somehow... because I was too attached to a material possession. It would be like a punishment. Which is crazy I know... it's just a leftover superstition from childhood. I don't know if I really believe it, it's just a thought that occurs to me from time to time. ------------- "Hair is a part of you. It is not a part of me, because I am a frog." - Kermit the Frog on Sesame Street1b/N/ii ~ ??"/27"/32" |
Posted By: hairalways
Date Posted: June 28 2003 at 7:59am
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SG, Are you by any chance Catholic? I was raised Catholic (have converted in adulthood) and a LOT of the teachings are focused on creating guilt for enjoying any of life's joys. IE, if you enjoy your hair TOO much and become too vain, that you will be punished by God for your sin of vanity. It can be a very crippling religion...No offense to anyone who is Catholic. I am only speaking from my own experience. I have some remnants of those feelings still and find myself also trying not to "enjoy" anything too much...which is tough since life is so full of many wonderful things! jacqui ------------- |
Posted By: AmandaPanda
Date Posted: June 28 2003 at 8:55am
I don't know what church you went to, but I've never experienced such a thing. -------------  http://amandapandahair.spaces.live.com/ - My Long Hair Odyssey
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I was raised Catholic (have converted in adulthood) and a LOT of the teachings are focused on creating guilt for enjoying any of life's joys.Posted By: SuperGrover
Date Posted: June 28 2003 at 2:15pm
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Hi Jacqui. Thanks for that response. I found it very comforting. No, I wasn't raised in any religion at all. But I guess when I was little I had some Catholic-like ideas from friends. Most of my friends at the time were Catholic. You have got me thinking though... I think it must be a sin to not enjoy any of God's gifts to the fullest! (So long as it isn't harming anyone else, of course) So I must change my attitude and never feel fearful again! About my hair anyway. I still think it is a good idea not to focus too much love on material possessions like cars and teddy bears and clothes and instead focus that love on the people in our lives. TraciPS You are right Amanda, not every Catholic church is oppressive, but I do think many of them are. They make you fear things in order to make you behave like a good citizen. Well... maybe they don't affect all church members that way, but certainly many of them. But I don't want to get a philosophical discussion started. I don't want to offend you either. I honestly believe there are good things about all religions. ------------- "Hair is a part of you. It is not a part of me, because I am a frog." - Kermit the Frog on Sesame Street1b/N/ii ~ ??"/27"/32" |
Posted By: LetGoMommyHair
Date Posted: June 29 2003 at 5:00am
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I don't spend a lot of time or money on my hair. I'm a mother of an 11 month old boy. Time and money are in high demand and short supply around here! Somehow with my type of hair, it is down past my waist and can handle "tough" times without much thought. I am working to help it be healthier. Some hair is still growing back from post-pregnancy hair loss (due to hormones). Some hair is growing back from doing a hair analysis (mineral check) a few years ago. ------------- LetGo...sweetie...let go of mommy's hair... |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: June 29 2003 at 10:37am
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Regarding the original question... "do you ever feel ashamed of giving so much attention to your hair?" My answer is a definite "No!" I actually don't give my hair much attention, anyway. Believe it or not. I just ignore it and "whoops!", there it goes and grows another inch longer. I just wash it when it gets dirty... comb it when it gets tangled... braid it before going to the office, etc... that's about it. R-L has kept me too preoccupied lately. Now if you asked me if I felt "ashamed" (or some other unhappy state of being) for giving so much attention to the activities in my life which consume most of my time, well, that could make for an interesting (and much off-topic) discussion, BUT I do like to eat and have shelter, etc, so... life is a matter of trade-offs, constantly making decisions on what to direct our attentions... I say if you feel you give your hair a lot of attention, and it pleases you, and you feel that you give adequate attention to all the other things in your life, then you don't have any reason for concern. ------------- |
Posted By: Kintaro
Date Posted: June 29 2003 at 11:32pm
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I mean, seriously, we don'T spend 4 hours fixing up our hair, And when we do take some time , it's usually coupled to something else. I can think of many examples, but washing your hair and having conditioner in your hair doesn't prevent you from washing your body elsewhere. Think of it as multi-tasking. Indiidual time , i.e. time that it actially wastes more, is low, if not negligeable. An Overnight conditioner let's say. Not that I've used any, but you take 10 minutes before sleeping, 10 minutes after getting up. You've done a 8-14 hour job in 20 minutes. I mean, what woulds you do with those 8-14 hours anyway ? Sleep ? Magnifico. There was a point made, I hope you got it. Plus when we do take time to just concentrate on the hair (5.... let's say 15 minutes struggling to get a bun up right in my case o_O ) it's to have hours of unfettered time.It's the LEL. Do very little effrt right now, and reap its fruits later. ------------- I hate all of the following and lots more : Fundamentalists, racists, sexists, fascists, ageists (people saying seniors = senile , kids = stupid , 18 = immature or a combo of them), and bigots for causes yet to receive their own designation. |
Posted By: Jennifer
Date Posted: June 30 2003 at 8:42am
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Is spending money on products taking care of your long hair worse than spending money on cigarettes, booze, pot, expensive clothing, expensive jewelry? Well Tina, marijuana is illegal (except for medicinal purposes) in the US.... However, your main point is well-taken. Some people spend money on their pets, their cars, CDs, and other hobbies. If you look at haircare in that light, then it's simply a choice, like someone might spend money develping a hobby. Now, if it gets to the point of an obsession and interferes with buying food and shelter, then there is a problem! ------------- |
Posted By: Erinlynn
Date Posted: July 19 2003 at 10:51pm
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here is an intersting thing to through in this pot. Does anyone here ever think about where your hair has been? I mean that the tips of your hair might be the same hair that grew on you when you went through certain times in life. When I just cut mine i wondered how old the tips truely were and what memory and event took place then. Did I still have on my head the hair that grew when I was studing sharks? how about the hair when I worked at the state park or was going to college? Did I still have hair from when a few certain bad events took place? By cutting this hair off I loose something that existed in my past and didnt sleph off like skin does. perhaps it symbolizes letting go those certain bad memories. Although i am such a sentimental person and would rather hold onto that which remionds me of good even if bad happened too. Do you all think Im nuts?> ------------- |
Posted By: SuperGrover
Date Posted: July 19 2003 at 11:11pm
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No, Erinlynn!!! I do that too! All the time! I will look at my hair tips and wonder how old I was and what was going on in my life when that part of hair was just emerging from my scalp. I think this way about many things. I live in a house that was built in 1925, and I think about what the first family that lived here must have been like, what kind of furniture they would have had in this room and how it would be arranged. Did they have wallpaper, or paint? What kind of curtains? What kind of car was parked in the driveway? Maybe we are crazy, but at least there's 2 of us! ------------- "Hair is a part of you. It is not a part of me, because I am a frog." - Kermit the Frog on Sesame Street1b/N/ii ~ ??"/27"/32" |
Posted By: Erinlynn
Date Posted: July 20 2003 at 12:29am
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Glad Im not the only one =) ------------- |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: July 20 2003 at 3:04pm
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I used to think of this, too. I haven't thought of it in at least several years, now. But it is cool to think of. I think by now some portion of the ends first appeared out of my head in 1993! It's amazing when you think about it. ------------- |
Posted By: psycobitch
Date Posted: July 21 2003 at 6:46am
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I absolutely refuse to feel ashamed or quilty for the attention I give to my hair! It´s my friend and you do treat your friends nicely! Besides...there´s so much **** going on in my life that I´m flaunting every inch of me. I deserve it! ------------- Wings |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: July 21 2003 at 7:54pm
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More power to you, p-b! ------------- |
Posted By: psycobitch
Date Posted: July 25 2003 at 2:23am
 THANKS DAVE------------- Wings |