Men Forbidding Their wives....
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Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: Hair Politics
Forum Description: The politics of Hair is a slippery slope...
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=8304
Printed Date: April 20 2024 at 8:41am
Topic: Men Forbidding Their wives....
Posted By: Holly
Subject: Men Forbidding Their wives....
Date Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:39pm
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Hi Everyone,Just wanted to post a thought, which came about from reading a few posts from women saying their husbandsdon't want them growing their hair long. It seems to me that the reason behind this is obvious. I don't think it's because they think it looks unkempt or any of the other reasons they say-it's because they ARE INSECURE! They do not want you looking even more attractive-it's like a threat because men usually love long hair and these husbands know it, so they are threatened if their mate will be getting more attention. I have had experience with this type of thing-not with my hair so much-I've been fortunate there to have only admirable comments about its long length from men (and lot of women, too). Maybe there are some who really feel like they don't like long hair, but I remember a couple of guys I had relationships with (and one was my ex-husband)who would say things to me like "life isn't a fashion show" (ex's remark) and the other guy I dated just wanted to be the star and get all of the attention (he was into hair as well as body building) and did not like it when I received all of the attention! Thankfully my now Husband is very supporting of me and loves long hair-in fact it's how we met! I get sick of these men AND women who are just obviously jealous of long hair and make tacky remarks because of it! One horrible example of women's jealousy is something that happenned to my Mother when she was in high school. She had (and has!) incredibly thick hair, and at this time it was down to her hips and very smooth and shiny with cute bangs. People always wanted to "pet" her hair. Her "friends"(????) kept saying to her "why don't you cut it" Well, she finally gave in and cut it..guess what they said to her? "Oh! Why did you cut it?".Lucky for her, she has FAST growing hair!!:)) Well, I've had my dealings with women's jealousy as well, but men's jealousy is just as much a fact, too, just maybe for different reasons. Well, thanks for letting me vent!
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Replies:
Posted By: Erica
Date Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:39pm
You have a very interesting view on the long hair dilemna--thank you for your comments! I'm not so sure that jealousy is my husband's problem though. He loves when I get attention because he always tells me that he is proud that he is my husband when it happens. If that makes sense at all. But he has been very resistent for me to have hair that is waist-length or longer. My hair has always been long (at least bra-strap length) since we've known each other--but its only recently that I've been letting it grow out waist-length. I'm sorry that I am going to be so blunt, but I think my husband equates hair that is "too" long with "trailer trash." Therefore he is hiding behind the excuse that long hair is "unprofessional" and "unbusinesslike" but I'm afraid that I know my dear husband too well. He is afraid that my long hair is going to make me look trashy. It's almost a snobby attitude thing. It's weird though because he is not a snobby person in any other way, shape or form. I'm clueless.I must add that he has been SLOWLY coming around lately. Last night we were watching tv and he actually wanted to take out my pony tail to see my hair. Since he can see that I still brush/wash/style my hair despite its length, and I'm not going to give up my hygiene and my taste in fixing & styling my hair, he is becoming more and more accepting. It is strange, what goes on in a husband's mind sometimes.... Plus it didn't hurt when we did our grocery shopping Friday, the girl at the register kept gushing about how pretty my hair was and she loved the length. Definately a boost for the husband's attitude! And me too! :)
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Posted By: Dave
Date Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:40pm
The WORST thing that somebody with long hair could do to helpsomebody who has such insecurities would be to cut their hair.We don't help such people by feeding their insecurities. Wehelp them by addressing their TRUE concerns -- not the thingsthat they feel are symbolic of their concerns.All of this requires open, honest, and thoughtful communication.The kind that is very much achievable in a good interpersonalrelationship. Barring said hospitable environment, it is notsurprising that such "incidents" leave a bad taste in the mouthof the "target" of the criticism.Erica, I'm happy for you to hear that you feel that your husbandis "coming around," and that you had a positive experience at thegrocery store, shared with your husband. I have a crazy idea foryou (try this some day when you're feeling spunky)... maybe yourhusband would be even more convinced to favor your growing yourhair longer if you put on an act for him... dressing up very"professionally," while wearing your long hair down and loose --and treat him in a strict and professional manner. That oughtaget him going :-) Just a thought. Enjoy.Dave
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David M Squires
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Posted By: andy
Date Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:43pm
If you were my wife, I would have shaved your head BALD!!! I wouldn't even let you grow a hair on your head!!!
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Posted By: Holly
Date Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:43pm
Thank goodness I'm NOT MARRIED to you, Andy!By the way, did you like Demi moore in G.I. Jane? Just curious.
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Posted By: Sherry
Date Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:43pm
Andy, Andy, Andy,...I can't even find the WORDS to comment! No, I can. You just PROVED that everything that Holly said was right! Are you bald? Are you jealous?I would love to see you wrapped in Jane Seymour's hair-- but I must remind myself that everyone has his/her own opinion! But shave your wife bald?.... c'mon! How old are you by the way?Sherry> If you were my wife, I would have shaved your head> BALD!!! I wouldn't even let you grow a hair on your> head!!!
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Posted By: theresa
Date Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:43pm
Hi everyone. I am doing something I have never done. I am turning 50 years old this year and I have decided to let my hair grow long!!! I can't believe me!!! I have had very short hair ALL MY LIFE. I am a very short woman. Just 4feet 10 inches tall. I have a somewhat round face. These are the reasons I always beleived I should have short hair. But I long for long hair. I dream about it in my sleep. I really do! My husband knows how much I want long hair so he is going along with me on this. He has forbidden two things. No bows, no pony tails. Fifty is too old for that he says, I agree. Also it must look healthy and I must never bleach it blonde. His ex wife had blonde hair.I plan to keep my hair pinned up. French twist or French braid. No tendrils in the back, long half bang in the front. That way it will appear short, yet still be long. My question to the list folks is, Do you think pinned up hair is commonly thought of as an old ladies hair style? I have a rather youthfull appearance for my age, on a good day, I might pass for very late 30's. I have very healthy medium auburn hair. I am going to have long hair at least once in my life. but I do have misgivings about it looking too old. Already I can pin it up, but it is pretty tight in the back. Looks a little severe. I think when it grows and looks loose and relaxed it will be soft and youthful looking.
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