Dealing with insensitive or ignorant person: I am not sure which yet
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Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: Hair Politics
Forum Description: The politics of Hair is a slippery slope...
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=8536
Printed Date: May 07 2024 at 9:06pm
Topic: Dealing with insensitive or ignorant person: I am not sure which yet
Posted By: Clare
Subject: Dealing with insensitive or ignorant person: I am not sure which yet
Date Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:34pm
Hi, everyone,A new woman started working with me and yesterday I was wearing my hair in a pony tail with my Rare gems hair ties throughout the pony tail, like Dawn does. I really like that look. Anyhow, yesterday, she said "Your hair is THIN". (Emphasizing the THIN)Well, it did not sound like a compliment to me. My reply was, (and this is the truth about my hair), "My hair is very fine. I have quite a bit of it, but it is very fine." I wanted to clarify things for her, and she did not say anything else after that.I have had people in my life in the past who would say things like that to me. Those people are no longer in my life, and I am really glad. I don't want to have people in my life who say things that I feel are unnecessary like that, and yet are hard on my self-esteem. I guess I have had a lot of growth, because I realize it is her problem, being rude like that, not mine. But, still, I choose not to have people like that in my life.This woman works with me directly, however, so for the time being, I am going to have to deal with her. Any suggestions on how to better deal with this??
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Clare
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Replies:
Posted By: LisaD
Date Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:34pm
> Hi, everyone,> A new woman started working with me and yesterday I> was wearing my hair in a pony tail with my Rare gems> hair ties throughout the pony tail, like Dawn does. I> really like that look. Anyhow, yesterday, she said> "Your hair is THIN". (Emphasizing the THIN)> Well, it did not sound like a compliment to me. My> reply was, (and this is the truth about my hair),> "My hair is very fine. I have quite a bit of it,> but it is very fine." I wanted to clarify things> for her, and she did not say anything else after that.> I have had people in my life in the past who would say> things like that to me. Those people are no longer in> my life, and I am really glad. I don't want to have> people in my life who say things that I feel are> unnecessary like that, and yet are hard on my> self-esteem. I guess I have had a lot of growth,> because I realize it is her problem, being rude like> that, not mine. But, still, I choose not to have> people like that in my life.> This woman works with me directly, however, so for the> time being, I am going to have to deal with her. Any> suggestions on how to better deal with this??Dear Casey,What you said in response to the woman's comment was fine; you didn't allow her to see that you were affected by her rudeness, but actually, you could have just ignored her and there would have been nothing wrong with that. Its good that you realize that she has the problem and its not anything you should take too personally.Since you have no choice but to work with her directly, my advice is to just be civil. Speak to her when you have to, and just keep things at that level, of a working relationship for now. Later on, if you two get to know eachother a little better, she may even apologize or explain her behavior, you never know. But being polite, even if its difficult, will produce much better results than turning one incident into a big issue that will negatively affect you working environment.Hope this helps!Lisa :-)
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Lisa
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Posted By: Clare
Date Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:34pm
> Dear Casey,> What you said in response to the woman's comment was> fine; you didn't allow her to see that you were> affected by her rudeness, but actually, you could have> just ignored her and there would have been nothing> wrong with that. Its good that you realize that she> has the problem and its not anything you should take> too personally.> Since you have no choice but to work with her> directly, my advice is to just be civil. Speak to her> when you have to, and just keep things at that level,> of a working relationship for now. Later on, if you> two get to know eachother a little better, she may> even apologize or explain her behavior, you never> know. But being polite, even if its difficult, will> produce much better results than turning one incident> into a big issue that will negatively affect you> working environment.> Hope this helps!> Lisa :-)
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Clare
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