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Be myself or follow the crowd?

Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: Hair Politics
Forum Description: The politics of Hair is a slippery slope...
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=8599
Printed Date: July 24 2025 at 5:02am


Topic: Be myself or follow the crowd?
Posted By: bobbedguy
Subject: Be myself or follow the crowd?
Date Posted: February 22 2000 at 11:04am
I have in the past posted messages similar to this but with the recent posts concerning gender and hair, and the fact that I am getting a trim soon, I wanted to once more get ideas from others. I am a 28 year old guy with nice, healthy, thick hair. I have tried many hairstyles and lengths in my time. In all honesty I look like Sergeant Carter from Gomer Pyle with short styles that most guys wear and I am not into the layered fly away look of the medium styles of the 70's. Undecided on what I wanted to do with my hair I consulted my stylist. Knowing that most stylist will suggest some type of short cut for guys and knowing that I look like a pin head with them, I asked her to recommend a style and length that would best fit my features no matter if it were usually considered as a male or female style. Well, she was open and honest (which I really appreciate) and she said that a bob style would best suit me. I was glad to hear that because I am very fond of bob styles. With that said, I started going toward that. Now my hair is cut basically in a layered bob with the sides just below my ears and a little longer in the back and I have been growing out my bangs ( a major hassle). I finally decided that what I really want is a one length bob just below my ears with bangs to my brows. I think that this style would look good on me and my stylist agreed. You probably know the problem with this. Most people consider this as a female style so I get constant pressure to conform to societal norms and get a shorter more masculine cut. Well I think that would make me self concious and I know that I would hate it. Also, I fail to understand why women can have all these short more masculine styles (shorter than many men) and that is alright but guys can't have longer possibly more feminine styles without ridicule and pressure to conform. Anyway, I want to know what you think about this issue. Should I be myself and be happy with the bob style that I really want, or should I conform, get the short cut and be unhappy? What do you think about bobs? For girls only? Why? What about very short cuts should they be for guys only and say that women with short styles are weird and should conform and grow it out?


Replies:
Posted By: JerkyFlea
Date Posted: February 22 2000 at 1:06pm

It's really your call.  If you are a stong individual, such as Dave Decker, then you'll be able maintain your style because you like it and feel it looks best on you.  If not, then you may succumb to the comments of those that will give you their opinion whether you want it or not. 


Reality is that the cut you describe, as you recognized in your comments, is rather contrary to the societal norm for men's hairstyles.  Does that make the wrong style for you?  Not at all, but just be aware that others will probably not be as open and accepting of it as you and your stylist are.  Just the way it is, good or bad.


Oh, and based on your description of the style, my first thought wasn't "feminine", but "Prince Valiant", since that's what that particular style used to be (and may still be) referred to as.


Later,


JerkyFlea



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3 pm is simultaneously too late and too early to start anything.

Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: February 22 2000 at 5:37pm
First, thanks for the nice words, JerkyFlea.

To bobbedguy: You can't change the way others react to choices you make. The only thing you can do (within this context) is to change the way you react to others. What do you do if/when someone criticizes you? Your reaction will affect how that person sees you. Think about it.

Based on the description of the hairstyle you have/want, I was thinking of the term, "Dutch Boy."


Dave

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Posted By: bobbedguy
Date Posted: February 23 2000 at 8:40am
DaveDecker,
No one has really SAID anything to me but I can tell by the looks on their faces that they think it a little strange. Once when I had stopped at a gas station for a coke there was a guy and a girl in talking to the cashier. After I checked out and began exiting the store I saw the girls reflection in the window glass and she was pointing at me and laughing at me behind my back to the cashier. I thought that it was funny because she must have been so closed minded and conservative. I just laughed at her and got a kick out of it. If someone did actually say something to me I would most likely say something like "I am flattered that you noticed but I don't tell you how to wear your hair so don't try to tell me how to wear mine" in a nice tone of course. I would feel flattered that I was noticed even if it was a smart remark or something. It just makes me giggle inside when I think about people that make so much out of a haircut or hairstyle. I would think that people would be more concerned with who a person is and I would also think that they had more serious things to be concerned with than some guys with a bob hairstyle. What are your thoughts?

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Posted By: Ally
Date Posted: February 23 2000 at 9:45am
bobbedguy,

I /have/ seen guys pull off this style. People will just assume you're growing it out.

I'd grow out the bangs and leave the back and sides long enough to pull back.

BTW, did you see Tom Cruise in Magnolia?

Ally

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Posted By: bobbedguy
Date Posted: February 23 2000 at 10:24am
Ally,
I have been growing out my bangs and it is a real hassle because I have a short forehead and with the bangs longer they weight more and constantly fall in my face and I really don't have a way to keep them out besides using a can of hairspray (or a barrette which I sometimes use). I am getting a cut today and was seriously thinking about having my bangs cut back. Should I or shouldn't I?
I did see Tom Cruise in that movie. Only thing was usually he had that oily unwashed look that most people tend to think about when they think of a guy with longer hair. I keep mine wahsed and conditioned and clean.

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Posted By: Ally
Date Posted: February 23 2000 at 3:40pm
bg,

Growing out bangs is /always/ a nightmare until they reach a certain point. Try to stick it out until you can tuck them behind your ears? Gel helps too.

Ally

P.S. If you KNOW you want them, long-term, and aren't just avoiding the awkward growing-out stage....cut them.



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