hair length, family comments
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Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: Hair Politics
Forum Description: The politics of Hair is a slippery slope...
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=8617
Printed Date: October 22 2025 at 12:58am
Topic: hair length, family comments
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Subject: hair length, family comments
Date Posted: June 15 2000 at 3:27pm
When I was growing up, my mother always insisted that I wear my hair short and boyishly. Chin length, brown, waves making the hair look flyaway, parted in the center, bangs. I guess it was a rather common little girl's haircut for the early 70's, because I recall my playmates having similar cuts.
You may say that this has lead to a lifelong hair obsession, but I would rather call it an interest. When I was 11 I decided that I wanted long hair, and would not have anyone talk me out of it. 10 years ago when I wanted to try going blond, a double-processed fiasco left me cutting my hair much like it was in my childhood. That cemented my belief that I just do not look good in shorter hair, period.
Now, I am in my 30's. I have had some style of bra-strap length hair since I grew out my blond haystack and I lighten it to a brownish red that is almost red enough to be auburn. Fortunately now there are many wonderful styling products that reshape natural curls and waves to look like curls and waves, and I have been able to reduce the frizzy flyaway look. I prefer to wear my hair up during the workday and down when I am around my husband, who loves my long hair.
Now to the dilemma. My stylist trimmed my bangs and front layers a little shorter than I prefer to wear them. As a result, I have decided to grow all of the layers out on the top of my head, bangs and everything. My hair is starting to get a bit scraggly looking to the point where a few people, mainly my husbands family, is noticing.
My seventy-something mother-in-law, whom I love very much, has subscribed to the your-hair-shouldn't-be-long-if-you-are -over-thirty mindset, and is now repeatedly asking me why I do not get my hair cut. This escalated when we went out shopping in preparation for a Fathers Day meal, and on our rounds we stopped to get wine to go with the meal. The store clerk asked for my ID (which usually happens anyway, because I don't have a very sophisticated-looking face), and now my mother-in-law is on this kick where she thinks I will be taken "more seriously" if I cut off my hair.
This is not an earth shattering problem, but it is annoying. I have a successful career and a very good marriage to a terrific guy. My world is not perfect, I have not been blessed with very good health, but obviously that has nothing to do with hair length.
I believe that once my bangs grow to a neater, more stylable length, that her comments will go away. I don't feel the need to stand up to her or perform some sort of confrontation, but I do wish that she would find something else to talk about when we are together.
Any suggestions, anyone?
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Replies:
Posted By: wolfgang
Date Posted: June 15 2000 at 4:16pm
I remember that over twenty or more years my family has nerved me that my hairs were too long. The problem is that I could do nothing to change their mind, they were absolutely convinced to have right. No I am 46 and my parents are over the 70th and my hair is too long, but the overall problem has lost it's weight. That has something to do with the fact that I have lost the uncertaintless, I don't ask me any more if I have right or not. If they begin to complain I change the theme, without beeing angry, and they accept it.
I know a long haired women at age 29, she has nearly butt length hair, and her mother argued it's too long. She is convinced from her hair and has no mental problems. She says as long as more people would appreciate her long hair as the one voice saying to cut it, her mother has no chance. And she loves her mother.
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Posted By: phil
Date Posted: June 15 2000 at 6:10pm
Your mother-in-law probably means well, but you cannot listen to her outmoded comments. Hair too long at 30? What garbage! The older generation *never* approve. My hair was too long in the 70s and is too short now. You seem to be showing a little insecurity when you say that you haven't a "sophisticated face". Never mind that, just rejoice in being taken for someone younger than yourself. And if your own mindset is right, you won't worry about your hair, which sounds OK to me anyway.
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phil
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Posted By: dianefromcanada
Date Posted: June 15 2000 at 10:16pm
Man isn't that rich Carol! Sorry to hear you are going through such things as it really hurts one's feeling.
Why would any woman want to look older? I might be wrong but when she says you should cut your hair to be taken more seriously isn't she basically saying in other words cut your hair so that you look older? I guess she doesn't appreciate that you have taken your time to look good for your husband. I think that is very important to try to keep the romance going. Not many husbands like to see their wife look older purposely. PS too bad your mother in law isn't involve in activity to keep her busy in life so that she wouldn't poke her nose in your private business.
Diane from Canada
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dianefromcanada
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