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Can gray hair be appreciated?

Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: Hair Politics
Forum Description: The politics of Hair is a slippery slope...
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=8682
Printed Date: March 29 2024 at 5:47am


Topic: Can gray hair be appreciated?
Posted By: anaclaire
Subject: Can gray hair be appreciated?
Date Posted: April 16 2001 at 3:03am
Hi Everyone! I will be 41 this September and have been coloring my hair for about 7 years to cover the gray. There is not a lot of it but it`s definately noticable. My hair is very dark brown naturally and the gray is very silvery. Anyway, I`ve been thinking of letting my hair grow out long again so I can wear it on my head in buns and French twists like I did many years ago. I`ve also recently moved away from my hairdresser of 28 years and don`t want to drive the 4 hours each month for coloring. My predicament is this: Do I go ahead and let my hair go gray now or continue to color it? I`ve been thinking about this a lot lately and have noticed that only very old women seem to have gray hair. Is it a social taboo? Are we so obsessed with being young that we can`t appreciate the grays? I had a Spanish teacher from Peru who told us everyone there pretends they are 4 or 5 years older than they are because old age there is admired and equated with wisdom... qualities not showered upon the younger people there. I have even thought of each of my gray hairs as representing a person I`ve know or a place I`ve visited or a lesson I`ve learned in life... the old adage "I`ve earned my grays." comes to mind. Of course when I suggested to my dear hairdresser my contemplation of going gray, the look on her face was that of mortification after which she honestly told me I`d look 10 years older but it may be pretty on me anyway. I`ve been letting it grow for 5 months and the grays are definately there. Any advice or suggestions out there on this subject? Thanks! Anaclaire



Replies:
Posted By: wolfgang
Date Posted: April 16 2001 at 5:14am
Reply to message: 10.3327.1
Hello,

I appreciate natural long hair with all of its colors. It comes from the physical appearance of a human being and if it is managed well for me it shows a lot of patience and hair care knowledge. I have already seen beautiful long gray hair and I love it. I like it if women not so far away from my own age have natural long hair (I am male, 47).

In society most of the women at age 40+ prefer short hair, but I don`t know if they really prefer it. But this is not the only solution. I think in general people accept individual choices of hair, and if not I think it is wrong to give in only for conformity reasons. The most important thing is the personality of a person and it is easier to evolve humen qualities if there is something that gives a little bit individual joy.

I think there is no need to color your hair, at least not in an objective sense. I also think that my opinion is not unique and if you have long gray hair I am sure you will find admirers who love it.

wolfgang

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Posted By: dianefromcanada
Date Posted: April 16 2001 at 11:47am
Reply to message: viewthread.asp?forum=AMB%5FAP121551672&id=3327&page=1#10.3327.1 - 10.3327.1
Hello Anaclaire:

I will be 41 in October and I am starting to have white hair. Not tons of them but some. I been putting off coloring it because it doesn`t bother me right now and secondly I often wonder if I do start that I might end up cutting my hair shorter because of the cost etc. I haven`t really looked into it yet just general questions that I have asked a stylist but my sister who is six years younger ran to the stylist the other day to color her hair a coffee brown and had copper streaks put in it. NOw her hair looks darker than mine. All this because she pulled five white hair and was tired of seeing them grow. Personally I never seen one on her lol

I think it is an attitude toward growing older. Do we accept the grace that comes along with it or do we run and try to hide it? YOu know. Everyone is so diffirent. I seriously don`t think you will look ten years older and trying a new style might also be exciting for you. I think it was only her personal viewpoint on the subject.
Personally I haven`t made up my mind yet and playing it one day at the time. I do know when I am much older I will allow my hair to turn completely white and I have noticed on others how striking that is.
I am curious what color were you coloring your hair?
I been thinking of trying a browish red when the time comes.


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dianefromcanada


Posted By: anaclaire
Date Posted: April 16 2001 at 5:34pm
Reply to message: viewthread.asp?forum=AMB%5FAP121551672&id=3327&page=1#10.3329.1 - 10.3329.1
Hi Diane!

Thank you for your response to my message! To answer your question, my hairdresser has been using Redken products and she uses three colors to get my hair almost the same as it is naturally. She uses black, dark brown and a dark copper color. My colored hair turns out very dark brown and the grays have a copper color to them like natural highlights. Now that my own hair is growing out, I see my dark hair is closer to black and the grays are closer to silver-white. My hairdresser told me that we naturally gray with age as a lovely way to counteract the effects of aging in our faces... namely wrinkles. She suggests that if I continue to color my hair the rest of my life that by the time I`m 70 the color should be no darker than a medium to light brown. She also suggested I take a look at some older women who color their hair with dark colors to see what she means. I did this and saw exactly what she meant! I saw a couple of women in their 50`s and 60`s with almost black hair and it was truly not to my taste! So, I feel my hairdresser is steering me in the right direction about color. Anyway, here`s my long term predicament: I want to grow my hair out long again to wear on my head more. I know that as hair gets long the ends can be a different color than the scalp as well as the condition can change too. I`m afraid that I might have strange layers of color and condition to deal with. Also, when the day comes that I`d really want to let it all go gray, it could take YEARS to obtain that. Wouldn`t it look silly to have your scalp hair gray and your bun not? LOL Another thought that comes to mind is the fact that after menopause we women tend to grow hair slower and with less thickness due to the change in hormones and that would make the growing out process even more "painful". So, with all these thoughts I just have to decide whether to grow my hair out now and let it go gray, or continue to wear it shoulder length and color it forever. I`m leaning toward the long gray... after all, I can always cut it off and color it if I don`t like it, right!? LOL I think I`m ready to accept myself as a 40 year old woman with gray hair. After all, I like myself better now at 40 than I did as a silly 20-something girl. Sure, I had no grays then, but I knew basically nothing about life that meant anything. I`d never go back to being young! I wasn`t stupid or did bad things, after all I am a college graduate with a respectable career and no skeletons in my closet to speak of... I just like myself with the maturity I`ve gained and am looking forward to being even more wise as I continue to age. I guess I`m just at a cross-roads here and will look back on this time 10 years from now and say, "Anaclaire you were so silly to be focusing on your gray hair so much." Thank you again Diane for your note and I hope you enjoy any hair decisions you make! I must say that I have enjoyed coloring my hair in the past with the short hairdo and I`m sure you would too. Good luck! Anaclaire

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Posted By: anaclaire
Date Posted: April 16 2001 at 5:45pm
Reply to message: viewthread.asp?forum=AMB%5FAP121551672&id=3327&page=1#10.3328.1 - 10.3328.1
Hi Wolfgang!

Thank you for your response to my message! Your insight is refreshing and I love the way you speak of individuality. As I get older I find I appreciate people with who don`t seem to be of the "cookie cutter" mentality. I don`t mean the outrageous types that stick out like sore thumbs, but the subltle differences that make each person special... kind of like a lovely bouquet of flowers. I am leaning toward the "grow it out gray" option for now... after all, I can always cut it back to shoulder length and color it if I`m not happy, right? LOL I just wish I could look as good with gray hair as I`ve seen some women look... I recently saw Judy Collins in a TV concert with her beautiful long gray hair (it was about to her shoulder blades) and I also have memories of Emmylou Harris with pretty long gray hair... They are spectacular women though anyway. Well, thank you again for your reply to my message and your refreshing outlook! Best wishes! Anaclaire

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Posted By: phil
Date Posted: April 18 2001 at 3:18pm
Hi Anaclaire,
There are 3 ways in which I have recently realised I`m getting old. (I`m 44.) 1, I now prefer "culture" breaks where before I just used to get drunk. 2, I find articles on pensions quite interesting. 3, I find greying hair attractive on women.
But it is! It`s like an (almost) instant and completely natural colour scheme to try out. I admire women who are happy to flaunt their grey - Susan Sontag for one. It shows a strength of will not to be cowed by the way unenlightened folks tend to equate grey hair = old age = write them off. For me the most attractive is when a woman has obviously dyed before, hence the ends are colored, then decided to stop, hence the top is grey and the rest brown or black. An important crossroads has been reached.

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phil


Posted By: anaclaire
Date Posted: April 19 2001 at 8:11pm
Reply to message: viewthread.asp?forum=AMB%5FAP121551672&id=3327&page=1#10.3337.1 - 10.3337.1
Thanks Phil!

I really appreciate your insight into this subject. I suppose it really is true that the 40th birthday tends to be a crossroads. I never truly thought it would be however now I truly understand that it is. I am also now able to understand these different crossroads we all must deal with in life better. I wonder when the next one will come? Maybe 60? Who knows! After reading your post I was very refreshed to know that you feel allowing one`s hair to do the natural thing and be gray is more of a show of strength of character than a submission into "old age". In a way I think it would be fantastic to see women embrace their grayness rather than fight it. I`m just afraid there is too much marketing and youth-oriented cultural biases out there right now to see too many women accept their gray hair. Your post has given me the thought that the next time I see "younger" gray haired women that I will think of them as strong, enlightened souls and I will admire them for going against the social grain. Thank you again for your post!
Anaclaire

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