Mom`s who want hair cut

Ok, wait a minute Col. Highland I live in the south and our parents are not barbarians. This "whupping" image is ridiculous. First of all I`m almost 17 and have not had a "whupping" since I was 10 or maybe 11. It was never an overgrown bully beating a child senseless. It was a spanking ,not done in anger but a couple of firm swats on my bottom.
The south has a long history of arts and culture to be very proud of. We are not all neanderthals and rednecks. "Whuppings" of children occur in all 50 states so wake up. Neanderthals and rednecks can also be found in all 50 states.
The south is still mostly rural with small farms but we have museums, history, culture, universitys, and excellent health care. Did you know that the first heart transplant was performed in Mississippi. That`s my home state. Atlanta, Houston, New Orleans are all noted for banking, research and places to visit.
In the south children are expected to say "yes sir, no sir, yes mam and no mam."
Its true that several months ago my mom pressured me to get a perm. But she NEVER tied me to the chair. She was very persistent that I get a perm but never once was I forced physically to do it. After a while I got use to my spirally look. Just before Christmas I cut my hair to chin length. My mom was upset that I cut my hair but NEVER once did she hit me. She wants me to have long curly hair. She was mad but she got over it.
I`ll grow my hair out again and choose anew length to wear it. I cut my hair because I wanted to get the perm out. My mom was talking to me about another perm And I said no that I would roll my hair to get the spirally look. But I chose to cut my hair to remove the old perm.

Well Rachel, et al - then maybe you should express it differently. Saying "my mom MADE me do it" leaves some of us in a state of "huh???".

If you CHOOSE to accommodate and aren`t being unduly pressured then why have a thread telling people "I was FORCED"...gabi

Olivia - that`s why I said IF you aren`t being unduly pressured. My response was toward the defensive against the use of the word abuse. I frankly DO think a slap or any kind of physicality in regards to this IS abuse and "undue pressure"...gabi

in my school,MANY girls have REALLY long hair.most of them want 2 cut,but their parents wont let them(mostly fathers)some of them havent cut their hair since they were born except 4 trims.i know a girl who had very long hair & wanted 2 cut it but her father wouldnt let her,anyway,she cut it & when she did,she said her father became really sad.

Well I for one am from NJ and ya people get slapped here alot. I have never been slapped spaked or any other kind of abuse... yes my family and I consider that abuse... Up until I was 11 I wanted short hair... It had ranged in that time between Mid-Back and Almost butt-length. I had started growing it when I was 4 or 5 from an already below-the-shoulder cut. My mother never let me cut it. She told me I had beautiful hair (which I did looking back on it) and that cutting it would make it to frizzy. Even though its slightly wavy I have to use alot of conditioner to eliminate frizz. Well one day I picked up this magazine and my current idol, Brittany Spears, was on the front... I no longer like her BTW... So I hacked like 2 feet off my hair so it sat on my shoulders, which was even longer than hers... I was upset it was so *long*. After that my hair stayed that length for a while... Changing the amount of layers and texture and stuff like that. Eventually I got to lazy to cut it and it got to a few inches below my shoulders... still quite short when I began to idolize Nancy McKeon... Who I still do... but anyway I maintained my langth because lucky me, I unintentionally had the same hair as her! When the 1st season of her show ended I decided to cut my hair, thinking it would be her length again by Jan when it started... Unfortuately I thought hair grew like 2 inches per month. So I cut it chin length with layers, after going into the salon telling my mother I was getting an inch of dead ends off. And just smiled and laughed and said "wow" and acted like it was no big deal. One side was longer and it was shorter than I had asked for... It was barely chin length. That was august and since then I havent gotten it cut and thinking back on it I wish my mom wouldnt have let me do the Brittney thing... I never really "liked" short hair... alot ot the time it was to short t put in a high ponytail! I jsut wore it that way because "SHORT HAIRS COOL!" no. its evil. it has alot less styling options. Im glad my mom allows me to do what I want but I kinda wish she didnt... lol... Anyway any mom who "forces" their child to cut their hair deserves to be striged up by their ankles and have their hair trimmed off with gardening sheers while upside down and have to have that done monthly for a year and see how much fun she has.

I don;t understand why mothers will let their daughter have long hair when they are young and then force them to cut it off when they are older and when hair length matters MORE to self esteem. They give the reason that it`s hard to take care of, but then WHY might I ask do they let it grow long when the girls are young. I personally believe it is their why of weilding control over their daughter.

I went through all this too. I alway had long hair, until my mother decided that "a proper girl doesn;t NEED long hair" and off it went, no ifs ands or buts about it. But I managed to "trick" her to get my hair back. It only works if mommy cuts the hair HERSELF, not if it`s scheduled with a hairdresser This is what I did. I started pinning my hair into a strick bun at the nap of my neck. It was difficult because it wasn`;t quit onlong enough. I did this everyday and since it was in a bun, it was difficult to judge how long it was growing. Out of sight, out of mind they say, and it`s true. She couldn`t see how long my hair was and so it never triggered her impulse to cut it.

Lastyear, I turned 18 and finally unleashed my hair. Everyone was surprized that I could now sit on it. People still tought of me as a 13 yr old girl with a chin length bob!

Highland Colonel wrote: This last post is very ironic. On one hand, you describe your own example of this inconsiderate treatment and rightly call it "bullying" - on the other, you find it "insensitive and dangerous" to call it abuse. But what is bullying but abuse, especially when it comes from the very person who should be the most fundamentally caring and nurturing person in your life? You bet that's abuse, and calling it by its right name does not detract from things like battering and rape. It just adds to making a more respectful society. You say the effect has remained with you up to now yet you talk about "stronger circumstances". My friend, I think you should look yourself in the eye and admit you've been hurt. And consider that what is a "stronger" circumstance to one person may be a "weaker" one to another. Some people would rather be beaten with a gunbelt than be forced to cut their hair. Do you come from a Southern state where "whuppin'" children is common and encouraged? I also find it ironic that you tell these girls to stand up to their mothers, yet you yourself were put through a drastic haircut. Could you please tell us a bit more about the experience? What reasons did your mom give for making you cut your hair, if any, and did she let you grow it back? Please describe what happened. Just what is it with these moms, anyway? All of a sudden they decide their daughters should have their long hair done away with? What kind of person would do this? The answer can not be too complex - someone who is stupidly insensitive, controlling or even sadistic. Colonel Doe

Not entering the debate here, just wanted to interject that...

1) As a lifelong resident of the South, "whuppin`" children isn`t encouraged.

2) Children get spanked just as much in other parts of the country. There are Wal-marts everywhere. =)

By the way, does this mean you are from one of those Northern states where everyone talks really fast and says "deese" and "dose" a lot? =)

JF

hmmmmm, isnt jolly `ole England the home of Caneing and paddling?? :) :D Mite Sadistic pasttime if I don`t say meself! Spanking/caneing the maid ect, all for personal enjoyment too eh? Makes one wonder `bout those sort of folks....Blimey!!! Sorted! j/k blokes beatin the dollies oughta be given to the "skins" for a lil bit o special treatment... Like a good old fashioned stompin.... or as stated in that famous Bruce Willis movie: I`m coming back with some hard pipe hittin niggers and gonna get Mid Evil on yer ass! excuse the profane/racial remark, I just cannot tolerate guys that strike women. :( My sister was beaten almost daily by her LOOSER window washer alky husband. Then i happened to be staying over her house one evening and Mr. LOOSER decides its the right time to beat on sis.... My sister is 6 years olser than me and calles me little brother... LOL little I`m not, not at 6` 4" and 190 lbs. hehe, the drunk was 5` 6" or so maybe 120lbs max.... I`m a 8th degree black belt in Karate also, it helps keep me in condition for the times we have to go into 20 - 30+ foot surf and rescue someone that doesn`t belong out there.... So needless to say Mr. LOOSER got his comuppance that early morning! :) Thanks Dad! For sending me to self defense classes for so many years, it paid off in a loved ones release from hell.
2 weeks later the looser killed himself shooting himself twice in the head after almost shooting a few of the neighbors... One less looser in the world. I`m certain he would have killed my sister if I hadn`t came along that night, he had been getting more and more violent to the point that he broke my sisters back throwing her across the room! She lied about it as most brutalized spouses do.... Sad very sad. Aloha, <(**)>Keazy :) :D :P

Anyone who believes they should be able to
dictate their childrens` hair appearance etc
should read the story Make Him Look Smart
on www.crewbuzz.com - It`ll make you
sick.

i dunno wha all this UK american thingy is goin on about

but anywayz :|

i had the same prob cept my mom wudnt let me cut my hair that was down to my knees

and i used ot cry and beg and she still wudnt let me :(

so i know how ya feel