Help PLESAE!

I'm serious. Im about to shave my head.

 I'm thirteen years old, and I have the curliest and most un-managable hair ever. I have wanted to straighten it - forever. I tried to chemically relax it (big mistake, but not the worst). And that didnt really work at all - and of course, damaged my hair. Okay, okay. But a while ago - two years I think? I wanted to get bangs. I couldn't afford to go to the salon because my mom and dad were just christmas shopping and stuff and had no money. So, my friend who "apparently" had expierience in cutting hair and stuff before, offered to do it for me. I said okay, sure. So I went there, with my straight hair(after buying a ceramic flat iron for 270dollars), and she cut them. I asked her "weren't you supposed to wet my hair?" she replied "no, it will be fine!" .. It wasn't fine. Tons of split ends came up, my hair was cut TOO SHORT, and it began to look terrible.

My hair has been through like everything - irons, straighteners, cutting, swimming, so much damage. Now I want to shave my head because theres SO much damage and its so hard to take care of, and there's just so many split ends - and my hair is dead and will not grow, I swear.

I would go to the salon - but again, its around christmas time and we have spent it ALL on presents (merry christmas to everyone by the way) & now I'm wondering if there is any way for me to fix my hair?

I saw this product advertised: www.splitender.com

And I might buy it.. But are there any other suggestions??

Please guys, I really don't want to cut all of my hair off.

Especially with this being my first year in highschool (grade 8 in canada) and I don't want to have to go through so many more years of having no hair... UGH!!

I just woke up and I'm too lazy to retype everything to help you but I cut and pasted my response to a similar incident.

Also with very curly hair you need to remember that when you cut it it typically will spring up to 2 inches or more when it dries....for example straigtening your hair then cutting it at your eyebrow level would be complete DISASTER as the hair would spring up close to or at the top of your forehead. Did your friend cut your whole head or hair or did she just cut your bangs? It's best to goto a professional stylist and get a good haircut and then go from there. Don't do anything st00pid that is drastic like shave your head because you'll regret that for a long time as hair only grows 1/2" per month. Having damaged hair or overprocessed hair does not effect the new growth of your hair so nothing to worry about there. As for the Split Ender I don't know anyone who's used that thing.

Here's my response to a similar situation....Read on and G'luck

Relaxers are permanent. They break the disulfide bonds in the hair permanently. Disulfide Bonds account for 1/3 of the hair's strength & elasticity. Also let me say that your hair is overprocessed and damaged and that can't be repaired it can only be managed with the use of products. However don't fret as you are in the same boat as many people with damaged hair. It's how you deal with it that will make this dreadful experience easier....Keep reading...and G'luck.

First let me start off by saying relaxers are used for ethnic hair mostly. I've never used a relaxer on caucasian hair. WHY THE F(*& did your friend not base your scalp? That is a MUST when doing any relaxer regardless of how mild it is. That is why you have burns on your scalp. The active ingredient in relaxers is the same thing that is used in dipilatories like Nair and Veet. Also whenever a stylist does a relaxer you NEVER, EVER put it on and come back in 24 minutes. You need to repeatedly check the hair every few minutes to see how quickly it's relaxing. You can easily over process the hair if you don't keep checking it. Also NEUTRALIZING Shampoo should be washed through your hair 4 or 5 times and not just once to make sure you got all the relaxer out of your hair otherwise it could burn the hair right off your scalp.

Why did your friend take a blow dryer & hot comb through your hair afterward? After a relaxer the hair strands are in a weakened state. They should be Deep Conditioned, wrapped and placed under a dryer with moderate heat for 10 minutes. Then rinse the hair, condition it some more then put a leave in conditioner in the hair. The last thing you want to do is blow dry them, brush it and take a hot comb thru it. YIKES!

I am going to recommend using the salon locator on this page http://www.lanza.com/news-pr15.htm and find a salon in your area that offers that L'ANZA 5 Step Deep Conditioning Treatment. It will cost you about $25 in a salon but it's well worth it. You can't buy or get a better Deep Conditioning treatment. I pimp this stuff because it works wonders for damaged hair.

Please get yourself some shampoo for color treated or permed hair because they are more gentle on the hair strands than regular shampoo. Stay away from any shampoos with Ammonium Laury & Laureth Sulfate in them they are very drying to the hair strands. Two brands that use them are Pantene and Thermasilk...STAY AWAY! Look for shampoos that use Sodium Lauryl & Laureth Sulfate in them. Get some nice Leave-in Conditioner for your hair too...Paul Mitchell has a good leave in conditioner. All you need a dime sized amount...run it thru your hair when it's wet after each shampoo.

DO NOT USE ANY HAIR COLOR, RINSE, SEMI, or DEMI, or PERMANENT COLOR on your hair for a LONG TIME if you want to keep your hair. You need to get that hair into a good conditioned state before any other chemical service.

You also need to keep conditioning your hair daily for the week after a relaxer to prevent it from drying out.

I'd also suggest some L'ANZA Magic Bullet 4.2oz Spray Bottle it's about $12.95 and it calms the cuticle layer of the hair strands and helps them relax back onto the hair strand so it's not so snarly. It's a great little spray to help maintain your hair's condition after going thru the 5 Step L'ANZA process.

I have seen total hair disasters from people not knowing what they are doing with relaxers and from the sounds of it your friend needs to know a little more too.

G'luck with the hair repair.

Also remember heat is very damaging to the hair strands. It dries out the hair. Moisturizing shampoos and conditioners will help to restore that loss. L'ANZA Magic Bullet 4.2oz spray bottle works great before blow drying your hair. It protects from the heat. I know some women who blow dry then flat iron their hair and they wonder why it's damaged. On those lazy days when you can afford to let your hair air dry....let it air dry. Don't tie wet hair back or pull it up in a scrunchee wet because as the hair dries it will expand and the tension from the band can cause breakage if the hair is in a weakened state.

G'luck

How long is your hair?

I agree with the poster above that the damage probably looks much worse to you than it does to anyone else.

Instead of shaving your head, I would suggest that you just get a shorter haircut and then start to take really good care of the new hair that grows.  Then, if your hair is three inches long, for example, and you have one inch trimmed off every two months, in six months' time, all of the damaged hair you have now will have been cut off and your hair will also be at least six inches long again already.

Why not look in some magazines or online for pictures of shorter haircuts that you like and go for one of them instead of cutting off ALL your hair?  I think that will look better for when you go back to school too.

Good luck!

sydCarter wrote: Ahh.. My hair is almost to the middle of my back. I love it. I look awful in short hair, I think.. Lol. To TrophyWife -- I think I'll try that. Thanks! =)

If your hair is that long and you don't want short hair, why don't you get about five or six inches cut off the bottom first of all?  I bet that will get rid of a lot of the dead ends and breakage, making your hair look much healthier and be more manageable.  After the cut, do some deep-conditioning treatments, take really good care of your hair and get regular trims as it grows. 

Then, if you still think that the remaining hair looks/feels damaged, get some more cut off.  But as your hair is so long, I'm sure that cutting it to, say, your shoulder blades, will make a massive difference.  You can always cut more off, but you can't stick it back on when it's cut so don't do anything impulsive that you'll regret!  If you hate yourself with short hair, I'm sure you can repair your hair without cutting off all of it.

Good luck.