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no trimming

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aznmitsugrl View Drop Down
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    Posted: September 26 2006 at 3:28pm
hey guys, it seems like i have my spurts of coming and going from the forum.

well, i've got a question for a coworker of mine.

for her personal beliefs, she does not cut her hair whatsoever.  no trims, no layers, no bangs(fringe), nothing.  but she's got split ends like you wouldn't believe.  she knows i used to have hair her length, so she keeps asking me what the best solution would be.  i always tell her what she doesn't want to hear, so i was wondering if any of you had any kind of solution.

from my understanding, the only way to get rid of a split end it to trim it.. because if you don't it just keeps splitting all the way up the strand....
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babycheeks24 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote babycheeks24 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 26 2006 at 6:08pm
id have to agree trim it! i suggest you talk to dave decker or someone else with super long hair but i do believe they trim theres. The only other advice would be to use good conditioners and jojoba oil and other types of treatments but then again it may only slow the split end but eventually there will be split ends again. I suggest your friend go talk to a salon about it instead of you all the time cause obviously you will say cut it.
Babycheeks
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Sharyg11 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sharyg11 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 26 2006 at 10:45pm
Even if she goes to a salon, they are going to tell her the same thing. "You have to cut it". There is no way to heal split ends. I guess it must be a religious thing for her. What is she? Let me guess... Pentecostal? Tell her a trim is perfectly fine. I have a pastor friend who is one of those old time pentecostals with hair down to her butt. But her hair looks beautifull. She trims it, and conditiones it real good. I know it might be difficult. People like that are pretty closed minded. I don't mean any disrespect, I am myself a christian, just not that type. So I know how stuburn they can be when it comes to the hair stuff.
Well, let her know that if she don't trim, she just has to live with the split ends.
 
Much love, Shary
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aznmitsugrl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aznmitsugrl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 27 2006 at 9:56am

thanks shary.

yeah, she's one of those more conservative Pentacostals.  What's strange is that we share pretty much the exact same beliefs, except for appearance.  But we get along pretty well.  I know of some women who do allow themselves trims, so I even offered to teach her the search and destroy technique, to avoid mishaps at the salon, but she's firm in her ways.  I'll mention jojoba oil to her today... sounds like Dave would be my best source of info (I haven't been on in a while, and WOW! his hair has gotten a lot longer).  Thanks BabyCheeks.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveDecker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 27 2006 at 9:25pm
Hi, thanks, and welcome back, aznmitsugrl! Smile  My longest strands are getting a wee bit longer as time passes, but I don't have any more hair than I've had for several years.  Anyway...

I do "search and destroy" the split ends, every once in awhile.  You queried, is there any way to zap splits without trimming?  There is another way, but I don't generally recommend it, and if anyone chooses to try it they would need to be extremely careful...  the ends of a split end can be sealed by searing with an open flame.  A small candle firmly held in position... and bring one single strand to the flame at a time.  It could work for her, if she felt it wouldn't violate her principles.

Most salons can't be bothered with helping clients maintain super-long hair... this is strictly an at-home treatment.
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aznmitsugrl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aznmitsugrl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 28 2006 at 11:45am

thanks dave.  i'll mention the candle trick, but i think she may eventually give in to the search and destroy technique.  we briefly spoke on the subject yesterday at work, but we were so busy we couldn't go too in-depth. 

thanks for all your suggestions!
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Sharyg11 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sharyg11 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 28 2006 at 10:44pm
"yeah, she's one of those more conservative Pentacostals.  What's strange is that we share pretty much the exact same beliefs, except for appearance"
 
I know what you mean. My friend (the pastor I mentioned above) is the same way. She is like a mother to me, and a great woman of God. However, it is amazing to see how someone that is so close to him, can take scripture so out of context. My favorite day, was the day she said to me, "you know what? pants, earrings and all, I have to admit I know you are of the Lord, and Jesus really shines through you". My jaw almost dropped to the floor. I could not believe those words came out of her mouth. I mean she is pretty stuburn when it comes to that stuff. But like I always tell her, "you shall know them by their fruit, not by the clothes they wear".
I must admit, I didn't think they came any more fanatic than her when it came to that stuff. But hearing that your friend won't even trim split ends, makes me see that I was wrong.
 
Well, lets hope your friend eventually really finds out what being a christian is all about and trims out those ugly split ends. They will not help her get into heavenLOL. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to mock another Christian. That's just my personality. I tend to make jokes out of everything. My whole family is like that. But I would never disrespect someone's believes. It is just frustrating not to be able to make a person understand that cutting their split ends won't send them to hell. But oh well, I guess I have to practice what I preach. Always respect people's right to believe whatever they choose to believe.
 
I hope she at least takes your advice, and uses that search and destroy method. Dave's idea about the candle sounds great, but I think only someone with experience should do that. OMG! imagine what would happen if that long mane caught fire? That poor thing would die.
I guess not everyone has the ability to grow super long hair like Dave's and still manage to keep it looking beautifull. Gosh, I still can't get over how he does it. That is one impressive head of hair.
 
Anyway is great knowing I'm not the only one dealing with friends like that. It is so great to see though, that eventhough you don't agree with her believes, you still respect them, and don't let that get in the way of seeing the good things about her, and enjoying her as a friend for who she is. You are a great friend, and a wonderfull person. There should be more friends like you.
 
Much love, Shary
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aznmitsugrl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aznmitsugrl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 29 2006 at 8:31am
thanks shary Big%20smile
yeah, i said something about the candle, but the was like "well, i guess i'll have to live with split ends!"

i think the girl in her will come out eventually, and she may try search and destroy.

speaking of trims... i'm hopefully going to a salon this weekend for one.  i've been doing my own for about a year (including a cut of about 8 inches in late january), so i think i need a good trim and shaping.  woohoo!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Foxyloxy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 10 2006 at 12:21am
When I had really long hair, I use to take a small section of hair...like a quarter to a half inch diameter and twist it and then snip the ends sticking out that were split. As it has already been said, if they are not trimmed it will continue to split.....your hair is like fine threads of silk and if you don't snip the fraying end, it will continue to unwind....
Linda :)
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Bob S View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob S Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 10 2006 at 1:13pm
     I'm one guy who believes it is nonsense that a woman *must* cut her hair. But while I fully agree with said friend that  hair can be a woman's glory, and *maybe* even an honor toward God, I think that He gave us the ability to tend to it to maximize its beauty. *Sometimes*, frankly, I've seen women whose ends are not fairytale, but seedy and frizzy, and the entire effect of wonderful hair is ruined. Properly used scissors can enhance the majesty of long hair. Shears needn't be regarded as a destroyer or displeasing to God.
     Sometimes I think that many women who love lengthy locks don't grow their own simply because they are afraid that their own might turn into "the ratty mess I saw today". I think it is incumbent upon those who wear long hair to aspire to make her hair its most attractive, even if that entails *some* trimming. It is best to turn people's thoughts from, "If only she..." to "if only I"! Blessings, Bob Thumbs%20Up


Edited by Bob S - October 10 2006 at 1:17pm
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DaveDecker View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveDecker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 14 2006 at 8:45pm
Hi aznmitsugrl, did you get to the salon recently, and if so how was your visit?

Thanks Shary.  Smile

I think that the importance of trimming split ends (to having beautiful hair) is overstated.  It is possible that a person does not trim their split ends, but otherwise takes very good care of their hair -- and thus has a well-maintained and beautiful head of hair with relatively few split ends.  On the flip side, some people trim or cut their hair regularly, but it is in terrible condition because it is otherwise badly-treated and abused (harsh chemicals, repeated applications of extreme heat, rough brushing, etc).

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aznmitsugrl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aznmitsugrl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 16 2006 at 9:20pm

yes, i went to the salon 2 thursdays ago.

::sigh::
dave, it's not something i particularly want to discuss... lol

the girl who did it... ugh.  i should have stuck to the rule where you only let someone cut your hair if you like theirs.
well, for starters, she had just had a perm gone wrong done on her head by a coworker.  and she has short hair--always will have short hair.  she did NOT touch the overall length of my hair, which was great.  but when it came to my bangs... well, i have these long sideswept bangs that i kinda curl back (almost like an 80's look), and i was like "sure, they could use a little trim" and she says "great!  now, we've been seeing more and more girls come in with the sideswept bangs like yours, and there's this frayed look that we've been giving them that's great on any face"
i give her permission to proceed, seein' how i had told her to TRIM them.  well, 3 inches later, she's asking if i want them shorter on the side or if the angle's ok on the bangs.  choking back the words i was thinking, i'm like "oh yeah, that's GREAT!"
so now... my happy, springy hair refuses to lay flat against my forehead, so if there's a breeze outside, i just pull my hair up and pin my bangs back, to avoid looking like i'm wearing a baseball cap because of my bangs.

that's the long-winded version, but at least i have "rededicated my life" to self-trims.
thank you.
<3
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote strawberryfine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 16 2006 at 12:36pm
Originally posted by DaveDecker DaveDecker wrote:

Hi, thanks, and welcome back, aznmitsugrl! Smile  My longest strands are getting a wee bit longer as time passes, but I don't have any more hair than I've had for several years.  Anyway...

I do "search and destroy" the split ends, every once in awhile.  You queried, is there any way to zap splits without trimming?  There is another way, but I don't generally recommend it, and if anyone chooses to try it they would need to be extremely careful...  the ends of a split end can be sealed by searing with an open flame.  A small candle firmly held in position... and bring one single strand to the flame at a time.  It could work for her, if she felt it wouldn't violate her principles.

Most salons can't be bothered with helping clients maintain super-long hair... this is strictly an at-home treatment.
 
Dave,
This is interesting as I have known of this method for a long time, but never tried it on my hair.  I did have a persian cat who swished her tail over a candle and set her tail on fire- I might add that if you use the flame method, be prepared to RAPIDLY run your finger over the end to extinquish or seal if it just melts.  I was able to put out Sassy's tail before she knew it was on fire by grabbing her tail and running my hand down its length.  She  looked at me like, "What are you pulling my tail for, you idiot?"- so obviously she never knew it was on fire.  Burning hair leaves a most unappealing odor in the air, too.  I had a friend in gradeschool light one of her long hairs and the flame flew up the length but we smothered it out before it got to the scalp and it was only one hair.  But it smelled the same--her mother was quite upset- we just wanted to see what would happen-  we found out. 
 
I do think this would work though if someone's beliefs prohibited cutting, but I would use extreme caution and only as a last resort.  When I worked in the salon, I had a couple of girls whose beliefs prohibited cutting but they would come in for the occasional dusting type trim and didn't seem to have a problem with it, but everyone is different.
 
I don't know why I shared all this.  I've been away from the boards too long, obviously!
 
Hope everyone is having a great hair day. 
 
SF
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12/25.5"/terminal length after reaching "small of my back length"
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