QuoteReplyTopic: feeling dissatisfied... Posted: October 03 2008 at 7:36pm
I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better Sarah. The hardest time for me is when I have almost reached a goal and it's like I want to self-sabotage myself and I am very conscious of that.
I think we all have periods where we are feeling down and sometimes it can take a new top, new way of styling our hair or nail polish colour to perk us up.
I'm looking forward to the new hair pics. You're the one who inspired me to grow my hair long afterall
www.30isthenewblack.com
Bob S
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Let's see, Sarah..... I have a wife of 28 years, and 4 daughters..... nah, I can't imagine what you mean by "emotional struggles"!
I've often wondered, though, what women who normally wear their locks like Jaime Leigh Curtis do to symbolically get rid of the "baggage" and forge a new beginning. (lol) I hope you've been feeling better of late. Hugs, Bob
P.S. One of the dearest women, and clearly the finest writer among those I've enjoyed on long hair boards, Celuriel, stated once, if I can clumsily paraphrase, "Charity comes in many forms." She had been accosted by someone who thought she should donate her knee-length hair to "the children", and she mused about how much joy her long braid actually brought to both kids and older folks presently. Thus, she was rather annoyed that someone would presume that she wasn't doing *enough*.
Bob, thanks for bringing me back to reality. I heartily agree that beautiful people are not so because they deserve to be, and also that beauty does not itself deserve praise. I'm sorry if you got that feeling from what I was saying. I didn't mean it that way at all. I'm not seeking compliments or praise for my looks or anything like that. My thing was I just got tired of all the focus being my hair. I'm not all hair.
I probably am being a bit self-centered in it all, I admit. My pride does creep up too high sometimes. I have to keep it in check. And I realized that there are deeper issues behind this too. Emotional struggles I'm having to face, subconscious desire to change as a symbol of moving on..... you know all that kind of stuff that women usually go through.
You make a great point in that you prefer to compliment a woman for the way she puts herself together, rather than her God-given looks. I've met many people like you mentioned, and you're so right. What is it they say.... "presentation is more important than the product"?
Well-stated, Dave. You are so right. Hair and attire are virtually the only things that I would even *think* of complimenting on a woman. Maybe perfume too! (lol)
If I can take a stab here, Sarah, I think that in life we must try to accept God's gifts and enjoy them. Everyone's is different. The fact is that a beautiful woman does not *deserve* to be better looking than others; it just is. But I've seen so many less than average lookers put themselves together in a way that makes them very appealing. A good attitude is at least as sexy as looks to me.
My youngest DD has a voice so stunning, and looks to match, that she nearly made American Idol this year at 19. She struggles with the fact that she has so much talent, and has difficulty accepting that it's real. And yes, she feels somewhat guilty, irrational though it may be. My advice to her, and you, is to use your gifts not only for your own pleasure, but for the enrichment of others. And, of course, for the glory of our Maker. I hope this makes some sense. Love, Bob
Hey Sarah, sorry to hear you've been feeling blue lately, I am not immune to the condition (I have been feeling a bit that way lately too). From what I can tell of your avatar photo, small though it is, you appear to have a pretty face. I think most people notice all of your other lovely features as well, when they see you... but commenting on your hair is "easy" because its wonderful state of being is attributable to your actions (whereas your face and eyes, etc, are "God-given"). Hugs,
Well, I wore my hair down yesterday for the first time in almost 3 weeks. (it would've been 3 weeks tomorrow) The only reason was that I got a terrible catch in my back and simply couldn't put it up. I plan to keep on wearing it up still for a while though.
Seriously, it's been driving me crazy to have it up constantly every day. (This has kinda reinforced my idea that I could never grow it so long that it's impractical to wear it down.) The only time I've been leaving it down is while it's drying. It seems to have helped at least some. I appreciate it more when it's down. And I've gotten a little more creative again in styling it. I think that has helped alot in itself. I'm hoping to wear it up enough that people start noticing other things about me instead of just my hair. I'm not fishing for compliments or anything, I just want to feel like it's not all about my hair.
Tani-lai, thank you. I don't think I'll ever do a drastic cut. I'm too attached (so to speak) to my long hair. Although I have thought about a rather large trim to make the ends really thick.
I'm glad you like the pic. I'll soon be posting new length pics on my site! I finally got around to taking some. I finally just did it myself using the delay thing on the digital camera. And as you can see, it's in the house not outside so they're not that great, but oh well. I'll let y'all know when they're up.
Hairbraider--glad you are feeling better about things. I know how you were feeling! In the past, I would get a drastic haircut about once very four years, when it was just about BSL. Of course, within a week or so, I would hate it. This year, finding the board actually stopped me from making yet another hair mistake! By the way, I like the new userpic--very nice!
Thanks Kimbearly! I love your sig, by the way. I think that's been my problem. I kinda hit one of those falling-on-your-face times, but I'm beginning to see that I have moved forward because of it.
HAIRBRAIDER!!!! I love, love, love your hair. I wish my hair was that long. Glad you are a bit more chipper though. I go through slumps like that from time to time, but I always bounce back better than ever. I have a feeling you will too.
Thanks for the tip Susan! I'll have to try that (I already have contacts, just haven't been able to wear them in a while).
Yes, my mood has perked up, but still not completely feeling like myself. I got moved to a different spot in the office temporarily for a specific task. That has helped too because the people I'm around now are more talkative and cheerful so I don't sit quietly obsorbed in my own thoughts.
Sounds like you've perked up already! Whether you're interested or not, the guy sounds hot! Lucky you!
If you still feel like changing things and want to do the contacts, there's this great eye drop out now I don't know how I could live without! Opcon A, you can get it for about 5 bucks at walmart or drugstores. Its an antihistamine eye drop. (You don't use it while your contacts are in, so you can even try and see if it helps before you decide to buy contacts.) I just use it once before bed and my allergy related eye problems are much better the whole next day. I don't use it every night, but I can see a difference when I don't if the allergies get bad.
Edited to say: Geez, sorry I sound like a commercial, there are so few products I've found so useful I guess I appreciate the good cheap ones!
Edited by Susan W - August 15 2007 at 7:20am
Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com
Alisa06
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(Big Smile)!!! I am glad to hear you are starting to feel better. IMO there is nothing better to help boost your mood than to pamper yourself. Silver toes sounds really fun!I have been weary a wine color that I just love!!! Isn't it great to get noticed like that! Even though you are not interested, ( in my case married) it sure makes you feel awesome!
Speaking of hair accesories, I am thinking about getting a new set of hairsticks. I have one that is a very light wood, but would like to add to my collcection... I got some clips that have rhinestones in them. I put them on the front kind of on the side of my head to hold my hair back. I have never worn somthing like this before, and I love it. Just a simple touch to add a whole new feel....Just a thought
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I want my hair back!!!
SugarCube
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lol... I got to thinking later that I should've added this as a p.s. No. I thanked him for the compliments and told him I'd have to refuse because I wasn't interested in getting into a relationship right now. He was very impressive though. Tall, black hair, well-dressed, so respectful and polite. It wasn't the kind of situation where you'd say he was "hitting on" me. It was definitely an ego boost.
lolz hahahaha thats AWESOME hairbraider!!!!!!!!!!! i'm with 123 ( btw haven't seen u ina while ) did u take him up on his offer... was he cute.... sry i'm SUCH a gabber when it comes 2 guys lolz
letmecount123
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You guys are all so sweet! Thanks for your words of encouragement. Alisa, yours were especially touching (about the strength and dedication for achieving goals). SugarCube, you're right... just because it's not mentioned doesn't mean it's not noticed. Thanks for reminding me. Bob, I think I'll take your advice and wear my hair up every single day for a while. I normally wear it up at work, but leave it down at home most of the time. Tomorrowperfume, I think I'll start wearing some of my more fancy hair accessories to work, instead of the plain ones all the time.
A few days ago I decided to do what any girl does to feel better.... I went shopping! I got a new shirt that's a style I've never worn before, and I got a couple new fun colors of nail polish that I've never used before. I wore the shirt to church yesterday. It's funny.... I got soooooo many compliments on it! (and on my silver toe nails too, lol) So I was already feeling pretty great, and then I ran into wal-mart on the way home last night and this guy I've never seen before starts talking to me as we're both looking at the same thing. After a few minutes of general conversation about which brand of crackers I prefer and how long I've lived in this town and the lack of local entertainment (small town, rural area).... he procedes to tell me that he thinks I'm beautiful and he would like to take me out sometime. That's what he said... "you are a very beautiful woman." No mention of my hair at all (and it was down!). It was refreshing.
Sounds like a case of general same-style blues. Change helps spice up your life... but you don't need a drastic change to get drastic results. Maybe something like an accessory can do the trick - maybe one of those cute, sophisticated little black headbands or a barrette might do it. I'm so jealous of your beautiful curly hair, but if you're thinking about going straight, just try it out for a little while and see if you like it. It was this boredom with one particular style that led me to chop 20 inches off of my hair three years ago, and I regret it even now. Just wait it out and see how it feels to finally acheive your goal length!
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I finally got around to taking some. I finally just did it myself using the delay thing on the digital camera. And as you can see, it's in the house not outside so they're not that great, but oh well. I'll let y'all know when they're up.
Thanks for your words of encouragement. Alisa, yours were especially touching (about the strength and dedication for achieving goals). SugarCube, you're right... just because it's not mentioned doesn't mean it's not noticed. Thanks for reminding me. Bob, I think I'll take your advice and wear my hair up every single day for a while. I normally wear it up at work, but leave it down at home most of the time. Tomorrowperfume, I think I'll start wearing some of my more fancy hair accessories to work, instead of the plain ones all the time.
