does age matter with long hair?

I kind of agree about the teenager/cut/long hair thing enfys. Although most people just ask me how long did it take for your hair to grow that long, I've had people tell me to get layers and shorten it a bit and that I would look better with short hair. Also, all the fashion addicts in our school have identikit shoulder length choppy layers so I kind of stand out a bit with long, basically unstyled hair. 

Rod wrote: As for men, I think there isn't an age limit for long hair, but there is a hairline limit. When the hair line has receded really far, long hair just doesn't look good. I'll bet Dave will disagree with me, but there's my opinion.

Hi Rod,

I don't disagree. How much did we make that bet for? I see a windfall on the horizon. Or was that merely for $1? (shades of "Trading Places")

Otherwise I generally agree with what you've said in your message, too. Whatever the person likes and wants, they should feel free to pursue without the burden of externally-applied pressures.

And enfys -- Teenagers look like teenagers, with long hair or short. That is quite a strange mindset among the teenagers in your area. I don't know if its prevalent here in the U.S., if so, it's just flawed.

Rod : I find some of the comment flawed. Long hair is not defined by the lifespan of your hairline, but if it is 2 bits short of a mullet, then it is ugly :P

Search for Jim Corcoran....fugly.
If I go out (I doubt, genetics so far are generous in that area) I'll go out with style :P

StyleGuy,

Perhaps you misunderstand my point. I'm not saying that that long-haired women believe the myth. I'm saying that they hear it spoken to them by others.

StyleGuy wrote: Ironically, I believe that by giving the myth as much credence as you do, you do end up supporting their 'destructive expression'.

Again, perhaps you misunderstand my point...? I'm not saying that there is even a shred of truth to the myth, I'm merely stating that it seems to be widely-held among the population at large.

Although I will add that I believe the myth is beginning to fade...

StyleGuy wrote: It's a little like the lone cop, uncovered in the bad guys hideout. In desperation, he tries to convince the bad guys that there are legions of cops outside, just waiting to pounce. To the extent that he can convince the bad guys that they are surrounded, he may actually succeed in having the bad guys surrender their position. It's a bit of a Straw Dog.

No, I don't believe that. I don't believe any of the women here is going to change their minds about having long hair because of this discussion. (laughs)

StyleGuy wrote: In my opinion, if your aim is to encourage women (or, indeed, men too) who want to keep their hair long, you'll focus on the positive support from this community, rather than the negative and inconsequential opinions of those that just don't matter.

One discussion on the topic does not constitute a "focus" on the issue. Offering suggestions on how to deal with receipt of such comments, if and when they come, does constitute helpful support. Taking a moment to think about it and prepare for it is not necessarily a bad thing.

I haven't seen too many poodle perms around, Karen Marie. Is it maybe the "thing" in your area?

My mother's stylist parroted the advice about cutting hair when you're older, StyleGuy, and some previous stylists of hers may have done the same thing. I've also read a most abominable comment in a book or magazine that long hair becomes unflattering after "like, 17", so believe me, it's not a myth that many stylists would rather shear than maintain long hair.

StyleGuy wrote: But seriously, I doubt that the 'myth' as you refer to it is as widely-propagated or firmly held as you suggest.

Hi Style Guy,

I don't understand how you can say that the myth isn't widely propagated and firmly-held. Have you read what others have written here (both before and after your post)? Have you talked with long-haired women about this topic? I have talked to many. Almost every one of them has been told (at least once if not more) by family, friend, aquaintance or stranger alike that they should cut their hair "when they turn 30/40/before-you-get-old". These unsolicited and critical messages would to them seem to be their hair-related, social pet peeve number one.

StyleGuy wrote: I know the people on this board represent just a small percentage of the greater population, but isn't it telling that not even one person spoke out in support of the supposed rule?

LOL. No. That not one person has spoken out here (of all places, on a long hair support board) in support of the myth would be expected.

StyleGuy wrote: If you're thinking that there are legions of stylists out there whose mission is to convince women to cut their hair short on their 40th or any birthday, I can tell you I've never met one of them.

Gee, I hadn't envisioned that scenario, StyleGuy. Typically the myth is expressed in gathering places where the offenders feel they can "get away with" stating their put-down, issued with the intent of influencing behavior.

StyleGuy wrote: I think that what happens is this. Long hair takes some effort to maintain. At some point, many people decide against making that effort. Some people make that decision in their teens. Others make it in their twenties. And so it may appear that by the time people become 40 or 50, fewer are willing to make the effort to maintain long hair. That doesn't make it a rule. And it doesn't mean you have to follow suit. It's free choice, from what I can see.

I am in favor of people making choices of their own free will and unencumbered by social pressures. But that is not the case when it comes to people expressing the gotta-cut-short-by-40 mantra. Many women who have been perfectly happy with their long hair, but felt compelled by society's expectations to cut their hair after they reached a certain age milestone -- and felt rather sad about "having" to cut their hair shorter. It's action based merely on perceived fears, but opposed to their true wishes. These people need support -- not criticism.

StyleGuy wrote: Some people, locked in their own little world with their own issues, may have objections to your decision. But they don't really matter, do they?

They don't matter to me. But I don't believe in supporting their destructive expression of their issues.

Why is it that the people who disseminate this myth feel the need to dictate their style preferences to others with the hope or expectation of compliance? To me, it just seems to be oddly controlling... sad and pathetic, really.

I pretty much agree with what everyone else has said. No one knows who made that rule so why should it even be considered?

I was thinking that maybe this can help, if nature intended for people to have short hair then when they aged it would somehow stop growing or shorten itself. Does this happen? No. Then why should we let what someone who we don't even know tell us that we can't have long hair when our body is still growing it?

You wanna know the true meaning of Long Hair?

Long Hair is the length of hair that you choose. Its however long You want it. If your hair grows and you want it, keep it.

What's next, are bendable elbows gonna go out of style? Are we all gonna have to wear splints to keep our arms from bending?

I mean think about it. Its not that much different to say that then it is to say you have to cut your hair because you turned 40 .... or because you gained 30 pounds...... or you are pregnant..... or because someone else did it.... or in my case because you are a male.

Dave Decker wrote: This "rule" is merely a widely-propagated and firmly-held... MYTH! It amazes me how some people willingly accept such ridiculous statements as being some irrefutable truth, and then feel they must abide by its tenets out of entirely misplaced fears. IMO those who feed the myth by advising others to adhere to it ought to be ashamed of themselves. I don't feel strongly about this topic, do I?

LOL. Yes, Dave, why don't you tell us how you really feel?

But seriously, I doubt that the `myth' as you refer to it is as widely-propagated or firmly held as you suggest.

I know the people on this board represent just a small percentage of the greater population, but isn't it telling that not even one person spoke out in support of the supposed rule?

If you're thinking that there are legions of stylists out there whose mission is to convince women to cut their hair short on their 40th or any birthday, I can tell you I've never met one of them.

I think that what happens is this. Long hair takes some effort to maintain. At some point, many people decide against making that effort. Some people make that decision in their teens. Others make it in their twenties. And so it may appear that by the time people become 40 or 50, fewer are willing to make the effort to maintain long hair.

That doesn't make it a rule. And it doesn't mean you have to follow suit. It's free choice, from what I can see.

Some people, locked in their own little world with their own issues, may have objections to your decision. But they don't really matter, do they?

Thank you guys so much for your help.

I agree age is no barrier to looking great with long hair. Today I was at the front office of the vacation association office and a women was putting a couple items in her trunk next to me. I said hello and complimented her on her beautiful long hair. She sort of giggled and said thank you very much. I appreciate the compliment. I replied that she must get a lot of compliments on her beautiful hair. She said, " Not really, but mostly on the color". Her hair was near waist length, neatly trimmed and honey blond in color. Well it is lovely I added. She told me she was now forty and she was growing it longer to donate it as a last hurrah as when she gets older it will be arder to grow so long... Then she added she planned to grow it longer, then cut it off to donate to LOL for cancer kids. Her husband was also a very big fan of her long hair but did not want to be selfish if she was giving up to help children with cancer. I mentioned they have a lot of hair sitting in the warehouse and they sell it for wigs to cover expenses as well as wigmaking. She mentioned another person had told her the same, but her female "friends" all are encouraging her to cut it off and "donate it". She said while she really didn't want to cut off her hair because it is part of her and it is a really big deal, she wanted to give of herself to help others. She also mentioned that as she has been getting older her hair has gotten drier and she feared it would thin. I told her I pick up Pantene Pro V for my wife and her hair is still silky soft at 40+, and I cringe at the thought of ever cutting my wife's hair short. It is very OK for women to have long hair and be beautifil after their teens. I told her she seems like a really nice, caring person and I can see how she would want to help others, I think we all do. I mentioned that I give blood a few times a year despite my dislike of needles because I am ) negative, CMV- , and they use the blood for newborn babies. So I bite the bullet, tolerate the needle and give of myself to save a life. She told me she really did not want her hair cut off to pay for staff or utilities. And she mentioned she might consider being a blood donor or volunteering at the hospital. I wished her a good day. She said thank you, really thank you, because I helped her make up her mind not to give up her hair. She became rather esoteric and said there was a reason she was late to her first job in the morning and it was because she was meant to talk to me to help her make her decision not to cut her hair. I told her whether it was devine intervention or random chance, at 40+, she had beautiful hair and no one who is jealous of her hair, should make her feel guilty for keeping it long and beatiful. She mentioned her husband would also be pleased with her decision not to cut her hair off. I told her I was glad to help another husband enjoy the beauty of a great looking wife. She said she could tell I was being kind and honest to her because I had not asked her name, I mentioned my wife and she did not feel I was coming on to her. So in closing, do not be hesitant to complement a lady on her beautiful hair, it really is appreciated.