well, i thought she was great...

I think that there is a difference between sharing and harassing someone. Regardless of whether its a subject thats wholly inappropriate on any level in a professional environment (and I think that it is) There is a difference between saying 'wow, I'm really excited about Jesus!' and 'Have YOU accepted Jesus Christ as your personal saviour?' If she was just excited about sharing and wanted to talk about something she was into, she should have stuck with saying how she felt about it, and not asking someone what their beliefs were.

Its a bit like me being vegan and the difference between me saying 'I'm really excited, I just found a new restaurant I can eat at' and 'Oh, you're ordering chicken? Would you eat your dog as well?'... I'm just using that as an example.

I just think that it sounds as though she was not just talking about something she was excited about, she was asking her clents beliefs as well which is just ridiculous in a professional environment.

 

 

Ha, Scotchyroo, that's hilarious!

Femmemuscle, gotta side with you here: If she wanted to know "if you
knew the Lord", she could have casually chatted about her church
involvement, singing in the choir, baking cookies, whatever, to see if you
took the bait and start chatting about your own church stuff, to see if you
two had some common ground to pass the time with. But it didn't sound
like she was, she was nosing into your beliefs. (Being asked if you've
accepted JS as your savior... that would send up red flags with me, too.
Like my husband's missionary co-worker who refers to people as either
"Christians" or "the un-saved". What crap. Like I'm less than a Christian,
whatever that means to begin with, because I haven't been saved.
Whatever being "saved" means either. Hubby's co-worker may be saved,
but she's terribly verbally abusive, self-depreciating and drives others,
devout Christians & "un-saved", away in hordes with her attitude. I'm
glad she has Jesus to keep her company.)

The exact words and tone of voice the 19 year old used, none of us can
know for sure, but you do, femmemuscle, and it made YOU feel
uncomfortable (much better word here than "offended", I think). THAT'S
THE ISSUE HERE. No matter how anybody else here would have taken the
19 yr old's words, femmemuscle was sitting in the stylist's chair, and the
stylist was doing a great job of making femmemuscle wish she were
anywhere but there. Professionals should steer clear of making clients
feel uncomfortable, because unless your client starts yakking and you go
"Hey, I feel the same way about that!", you shouldn't touch such topics
with a 10 ft pole when people's feelings toward it can vary so widely.
Never assume your client feels the same way about ANYTHING.

After 9/11, when feelings were strong, I went to my esthetician, who
started ranting, really ranting, no casual talk here, about how we should
"just kill all those people" and "bomb the entire Middle East". (And she
wasn't so PC with her words, I'm toning it down here because I can't bear
to say it myself.) I was mortified. Wonderful, kill the maniacs along with
all the innocent people who have nothing to do with it, who want nothing
more than to live in peace and without fear. Fairly certain taking the
good out with the bad is what terrorists want to do to us, and if I don't
want it done to me, I wouldn't do it to anyone else. So, I never went back
to her, I was just too put off. Once again, one of those topics that people
shouldn't dive into head first without testing the waters, probably
shouldn't even toe the water in the first place either.

Edited by Kimberly D

I consider myself a religous person, I have my own personal relationship with God, but I dont attend a church or subscribe to a specific denomination, and I will not be questioned about my beliefs nor do I feel that I have to explain them to anyone.

Femm I completely agree with you and what you did. The fact that she brought it up at all was incredibly unprofessional, the fact that she feels the need to bring it up when she basically has people "strapped" to her chair, is totally out there. I would have lost it and demanded someone else finish my hair, made a complaint to the manager and taken my business elsewhere.

Em

Maybe next time you can mention your collection of pentagrams and goats blood?

Sorry to drag this up, but I just remembered something. I was once getting my hair done at a salon in one of the five star hotels here. The guy who was doing my hair had also cut it before and done a beautiful job. Anyway, when I was sitting there he kept asking me things like whether I was dating anyone and stuff(as I recall he even asked me if I liked to drink). I wasn't, but didn't feel like chatting so I politely said 'yes, we've  been going out for three years'. A few minutes later he says "If you ever get bored of your boyfriend give me a call!!". I was like WTF?!??! But for some reason, I just sat there and smiled (probably cuz I had dye on my hair and huge green cape on.

I just sat there and had my hair done and paid and left and never went back. And then I ran into him later and hes like 'why haven't you come back' and I was like 'um, I'm working now and I don't have time'.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that sometimes some people are just un-professional. It's strange because it would have been OK for him to ask me about my life to make conversation, but it was that little line that he crossed. And it would have been fine for that woman to make conversation with you about her religeous beliefs but then she majorly crossed a line too. Anyway you did much better than I would have! I would have just sat there and cowered and been polite. And then two weeks later I would have STILL felt uncomfortable and given the manager a call:)

welcome, miss pink!  thanks for sharing your stories...i have to go back on the 19th of November..i had talked to her and her daughter since that episode..and it was agreed not to "cross that line"...There are some folks out there that fascinate me to no end..what's the attraction?  they don't have to say a word, and their true self totally shines..

it's being comfortable with who they are - and respecting others...in the professional environment as well as the non-professional..

dang aseya! you must have looked pretty sexy with that cape and dye ensemble!  you go, girl! 

 

But here's the most important question femmemuscle..

How did your hair turn out?

 awww thanks. 

And back to your experience, at least you were outspoken enough to let her know your feelings and not sacrifice a good hair stylist;  because I know some people who would have suffered in silence, & then never returned. 

thank goodness, i've learned over the years, not to be that type...it took a while...i, like many females have been taught it isn't "ladylike" to speak ones mind..either that, or if a woman speaks up, or stands up for herself, you know what she is considered..something that rhymes with a witch..

it took a long time for me to learn how "not to care" what others think, and how to care more of what i think of myself.

Funny thing..guys don't give a crap one way or the other....and you know what?  that is sexy...

True regarding the guy thing...society gives a lot of allowances for guys, and they are learning to do the same for women..depends on where you live...

i decided to take up just "working out" when i lived in the Midwest about 20 years ago..My mom said it wasn't "feminine" to do this..i liked working on cars, playing football, fighting guys, etc..being a tomboy..and i tell you, that was considered "crazy"..

when i decided to not marry and seek a career at the age of 15...that was unforgiveable......at the age of 16 in the midwest, back in those days...a girl should have been married with a kid or two..

i was shocked and dismayed at the response of my friends, and family...I was branded a "brazen hussy"...

when a young man can go out and do the very same thing - at the very same age..he was considered "a man"...

double standards are never going to go away...it's also good that you speak your mind...and learning how to do it in a way that still shows respect to yourself and those around you..it took me quite a while to learn that trick..

And it's funny, you're far better than i am..if i don't like someone..i just don't, i just can't, and i just won't...it's hard trying to fake it, and "play nice"...so the moment i see them, i just avoid the situation altogether..that way, i won't embarrass myself..I guess i'm saving them in the long-run as well.