I want my long hair back

Hey. I'm in a bit of a dilema with my hair right now. I'm growing it (although I have been for years) but I've not been treating it properly so it's incredibly damaged. It's naturally curly but I've never learnt how to get my curls to behave so I've been straightning it practically everyday for the past 4 years, which has not made it happy at all, as you can imagine. So over the summer break I decided to wear it naturally to give it a chance to grow. I did that and was very happy with the lovely ringlets I managed to get by just leaving it to dry without touching it from the moment I was out the shower. To my delight it grew about an inch in under a month, taking it to below my bra stap. Of course, I still had all that damage though. A S&D was no use because almost every hair was split, so I did what I vowed never to do again and made an appointment with the hairdresser. Now I remember why I made that vow! A trim became 5 inches and I managed to let her convince me into getting layers. I hate it now. I can't wear it naturally because it is just a frizzy mess, no matter what I do. I'm not getting the ringlets any more because of the layers and it's at the awkward lengh I spent forever waiting for it to grow past. Grrrr!!! So I've gone back to my straightners. I hate it though because I've only straightned it three times since the cut and already its split everywhere. As pathetic as it sounds, I've actually been in tears a few times out of furstration. I really don't know what to do. I'm due to henna it soon, so hopefully that'll make me happy for a while. But this is really getting to me. I'm sorry, I'm not sure what I'm asking here, it's more a rant that anything else. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be most grateful

Edited by Tobe - August 05 2006 at 6:19am

Well said, SugarCube!

Since you loved your ringlets so much, it seems like the answer is to try to leave it alone and let it grow.  A little jojoba might help you combat the frizz somewhat (works great on regular frizz, but I haven't tried it on frizz from damage, so I don't know if it will help much until your damage gets cut off...but later, it would help with that).   

When I hated my hair length I just wore it up every day so I didn't need to look at it unless I wanted to.  I don't know how long your layers are, you may need to use some styling products to get it to stay in an upstyle until its longer, but to use them for that short of a time won't damage your hair very much (way better than straightening).  Learn to do a french twist, and buy yourself some decorative hair holders to make it more fun. Or wear it in that style where its twisted and claw clipped so its up but the ends stick out.  Hair takes awhile to grow, so to keep yourself happy, the best thing to try to do is work with it and enjoy it at whatever stage its currently in.

Thank you everyone for your support and suggestions I've been playing around with updos and I'm getting over my childhood fear of tying my hair up ( my mum used to smack me when I flinched when she tied my hair back too tight and it has scarred me ever since) I'm learning to live without straightners, but I'm not sure if I can keep that up when I go back to school. It's not that I'm vain, I'm more scared of change than anything else. I got teased about my hair when I was younger because I tried to blow-dry my curls straight but only got big frizz and I'm more than a little self-conscious of it. But looking through the treads is inspiring, I really want my dream long hair, so I'll try my best

Edited by Tobe - August 13 2006 at 5:45pm