Age limit for long hair?

Sorry hairalways but that's called "selling out", I remember one girl came on this board before freaking out ecause of what she did to her hair, you're lucky that you liked it. Ultimately business means nothing and money means nothing unless you're happy enough to use it.

Most the guys I know with long hair have cut it short - mainly because places won't hire them. This is discrimination almost on a par with racism, and it disgusts me.

You can call it selling out....or you can call it a very strong commitment to focus on my profession and not on my own vanity. I will say something that may offend some here(if so I am sincere in my apologies). IT is just hair!! It is only selling out (imo) if I actually CARED about having long hair.....I did not care at the time about having long hair....on the contrary - as I stated before, I was looking forward to "shedding my skin" of college identity. I am a big believer in first impressions in the professional world. I don't consider myself to be a sellout...Now, In my profession (architecture) to design something that does not meet my level of integrity and beauty...that IS a sellout. I guess we all have our limits.

I think I have decided that the long hair board may not be for me....I am finding a lot of criticism and some are becoming a bit too militant for my taste.
Take care to those who give a lot of love and support.
jacqui

Hi Jacqui,

The people who post here are welcome to share their opinions. There are no requirements that a consensus opinion be formed, or that all opinions must align to be able to participate here.

What I'm suggesting is that if you disagree with the opinions of others here, feel free to voice your own opinion, so that everybody who reads this board can compare and contrast the viewpoints expressed.

Of course, you are welcome to stay if you wish (I hope you do), and you are also welcome to wander elsewhere. Whatever you wish.

I'd like to otherwise comment on your post. In my opinion, I don't believe that maintaining "a very strong commitment to focus on my profession" is necessarily incompatible with pursuing your own "vanity," or preferred hair length and style. As I've said before, I believe professionalism is encapsulated within the things that you think, do (actions) and say.

Similarly (but not identically) to you, "I am a big believer in first impressions in the professional world." What do I see or "look" for when I meet people for the first time? Their professionalism, as I define it. Not necessarily the slickest suit, which (depending on how they act) might lead me to feel that they depend on the clothes purely to impress me since otherwise they haven't. No, I am more concerned with their attitude and behavior, what they say and do... the quality of our interaction. Has it been mutually satisfactory and productive? The clothes -- and hair -- have nothing to do with the quality of the exchange, or the degree of respect I accord the other person.

However, I do wholeheartedly agree with you, saying "In my profession (architecture) to design something that does not meet my level of integrity and beauty...that IS a sellout." Based on my previous paragraph, I am sure you can see why I agree with you.

I don't wear my hair to suit the tastes and whims of others in the professional world. Obviously. And if anybody in the professional world dared to treat me with professional disrespect because of my hair, I would view them as an idiot who doesn't have their priorities straight. It's okay for a person to dislike the way another looks, but it is an entirely different matter to express it. THAT would be unprofessional.

jacqui

Please stay. Not everyone here feels the shorties are drones etc...it their personal taste. I may complain when other critisized my long hair but Im not saying they are wrong to have short hair or to have an opinion about it.

Anyways, not all of us are militant longies...

Please stay...and again, i love your picture/drawing...did you do it? do you have a larger version online anywhere? Or any other artwork?

--Erinlynn

I am following this discussion with interest. It is obviously creating a lot of emotion. Of course, non of us, regardless of how we like to look, want to be judged by our appearances. But the outside does say something, and what people "hear" when they see us isn´t necessarily the same thing.

I think it is much a question of maturity. To be secure enough to trust that people´s opinion of me will be favorable (since I am such a nice person), and if not (because I break some kind of dresscode, or they are jealous), then my opinion of *me* will not be affected by that. I would never, five years ago, have been able to quit my frequent hairdressingappointments and still feel good about myself.

Viktoria

PS When I was in high school, I had a friend who, when she saw a long haired girl, would grab me by the arm and whisper "Look at her! Let´s hate her!" That was a compliment from the heart, although the expression perhaps rude...

Hi Jacqui,

Vineman is entitled to his opinion of what you tell us that you do. You are more than welcome to disagree, and to tell him so. No matter what he thinks, you do not have to change your mind.

Although his assessment may have been a bit harsh, I don't see what he wrote as constituting a "personal attack." Therefore, I did not see the need to drag out my 'moderator's stick' and rap any knuckles.

As for those other posts in which the writer states their opinion that those in the workplace who wear short hair are "drones" or "robots," again, the writer is entitled to his/her opinion. It doesn't mean that it is correct. Silence from anybody else does not imply agreement. My opinion on the matter is that people should wear their hair the way they want it to be. If someone likes their hair, short, then they should feel free to wear their hair short. Likewise, if a person prefers their hair to be long, they should feel free to wear their hair long. Pressures (implied or stated) in workplace environments to cut long hair short are, IMO, inappropriate. Those who prefer long hair but cut their hair short for what they feel are the expectations of the workplace have made a choice. One they are not altogether happy about, but presumably it is one in which they feel they have chosen "the lesser of two evils." It may be easy for some to describe those who make that choice as a sell-out, but it isn't terribly accurate to make a blanket statement. For one thing, there is the degree of importance individuals place on having the hair length they prefer, and as with many things, the degree of preference for long hair may well span the spectrum from "love it and gotta have it" to "hate it and can't stand it." With a variety of "shades" inbetween.

So a long-haired person who has but a slight preference for long hair and perceives that a job that is very badly wanted and (perceived as being) easier to land with short hair will probably cut their hair short. Could this person be fairly described as a "sell-out?" I don't think so.

The question of whether or not someone is a "sell-out" (in this regard) may also be affected by the degree to which the perceived "need" for short hair is real. Into the "equation" goes assessments of this "need" for short hair. This assessment may be accurate, or it may be flawed. Some people might think that a man who has a job (like the one I have) with a high-profile company (like the one for which I work) would absolutely have to have (!) short hair. But my existence there is indisputable proof that such a belief is false.

I would guess that those who describe long-haired people who cut their hair short for the workplace as "sell-outs" are actually expressing their lament that people feel pressured to cut their long hair short for the workplace, especially given that it may in truth not actually help advance their career prospects. I guess, as with all things, expressing one's opinion with tact makes a world of difference in how it is taken.

That said, I hope you stick around, Jacqui.

Hi Viktoria, welcome!

Viktoria wrote: Of course, non of us, regardless of how we like to look, want to be judged by our appearances.

We never want to be judged negatively. I would imagine that individually we wouldn't mind preferable prejudice, though.

Viktoria wrote: But the outside does say something, and what people "hear" when they see us isn´t necessarily the same thing.

There are aspects of our appearance which are "discretionary," and those which are a given. People make false assumptions about both, perhaps less so to "discretionary" appearance factors. Although people do still sometimes ask me if I am in a rock band. (rolls eyes)

Viktoria wrote: I think it is much a question of maturity. To be secure enough to trust that people´s opinion of me will be favorable (since I am such a nice person), and if not (because I break some kind of dresscode, or they are jealous), then my opinion of *me* will not be affected by that. I would never, five years ago, have been able to quit my frequent hairdressingappointments and still feel good about myself.

Glad to hear you broke the cycle and feel good about that.

I agree with you that maturity is critical. However, I do not think less of myself if/when others tell me that they dislike my hair. (Ironically, put-downs may actually build me -- not that I need it).

Viktoria wrote: PS When I was in high school, I had a friend who, when she saw a long haired girl, would grab me by the arm and whisper "Look at her! Let´s hate her!" That was a compliment from the heart, although the expression perhaps rude...

Hmm... yes, it is acknowledgement of the beauty of her long hair. I find it sad that your friend reacted that way. Was she physically incapable of growing her own hair long?

Maybe because we are so much a multi cultural society here we seem to pay more attention to the clothes we wear at work and not if someone has long hair or not. I do find that people who do have long hair at work tend to pull it back in buns etc which comes across as very classy looking. Personally I have had many diffirent careers in life and never once been told to cut my hair and in fact been invited a few times to model because I have long hair.
The other day my sister bought this very nice rose ponytail holder which is from New York and the stylist that sold the item said that people are growing their hair.
Yesterday I was at another boutique and been told the same that people are asking for large and small barrettes.
Two my stylist in life have very long hair. ONe is in another province and her hair reaches her ankles and the other one is here and she grows and cuts her hair once in a while.
Being professional has nothing to do with the lenght of hair, it has everything to do with conduct.

DaveDecker wrote: Although people do still sometimes ask me if I am in a rock band. (rolls eyes)

Fear not, Dave....you're not the only one who gets that. In Tangier a couple of years ago I would have said yes, if I knew it would not have led to much more conversation (and an attempt to sell me assorted items). LOL.

Chris

Viktoria wrote: I am following this discussion with interest. It is obviously creating a lot of emotion. Of course, non of us, regardless of how we like to look, want to be judged by our appearances. But the outside does say something, and what people "hear" when they see us isn´t necessarily the same thing.

I've been enjoying this discussion, too. Regarding the snipped quote, sometimes it's nice when your appearance says "good" things about you. I'll never forget one time several years ago, I was participating in a series of theology classes at my church. Out of the blue in one class, the senior minister, who ran the series, gestured to me to make a point. He had been discussing patience and endurance as positive character qualities, and he noted aloud to the large gathering in the room that with my long hair, I surely must fully understand what both words mean, as hair such as I had (have) is evidence of long-term dedication and the ability to persevere. I was so touched, as I'd never reflected upon my hair as such, and his recognition of my long hair as a marker of patience and endurance was remarkable to me, because he is nearly bald. I loved the delightful irony, not that bald individuals can't comprehend those virtues, but just the hair angle, as I don't believe he ever had long hair. So often in life, people who have never had long hair have no clue how much effort it requires, and this goes even more for super long hair.

Jennifer Eve