Well-stated, Dave. You are so right. Hair and attire are virtually the only things that I would even *think* of complimenting on a woman. Maybe perfume too! (lol)
If I can take a stab here, Sarah, I think that in life we must try to accept God's gifts and enjoy them. Everyone's is different. The fact is that a beautiful woman does not *deserve* to be better looking than others; it just is. But I've seen so many less than average lookers put themselves together in a way that makes them very appealing. A good attitude is at least as sexy as looks to me.
My youngest DD has a voice so stunning, and looks to match, that she nearly made American Idol this year at 19. She struggles with the fact that she has so much talent, and has difficulty accepting that it's real. And yes, she feels somewhat guilty, irrational though it may be. My advice to her, and you, is to use your gifts not only for your own pleasure, but for the enrichment of others. And, of course, for the glory of our Maker. I hope this makes some sense. Love, Bob
Bob, thanks for bringing me back to reality. I heartily agree that beautiful people are not so because they deserve to be, and also that beauty does not itself deserve praise. I'm sorry if you got that feeling from what I was saying. I didn't mean it that way at all. I'm not seeking compliments or praise for my looks or anything like that. My thing was I just got tired of all the focus being my hair. I'm not all hair.
I probably am being a bit self-centered in it all, I admit. My pride does creep up too high sometimes. I have to keep it in check. And I realized that there are deeper issues behind this too. Emotional struggles I'm having to face, subconscious desire to change as a symbol of moving on..... you know all that kind of stuff that women usually go through.
You make a great point in that you prefer to compliment a woman for the way she puts herself together, rather than her God-given looks. I've met many people like you mentioned, and you're so right. What is it they say.... "presentation is more important than the product"?
Let's see, Sarah..... I have a wife of 28 years, and 4 daughters..... nah, I can't imagine what you mean by "emotional struggles"!
I've often wondered, though, what women who normally wear their locks like Jaime Leigh Curtis do to symbolically get rid of the "baggage" and forge a new beginning. (lol) I hope you've been feeling better of late. Hugs, Bob
P.S. One of the dearest women, and clearly the finest writer among those I've enjoyed on long hair boards, Celuriel, stated once, if I can clumsily paraphrase, "Charity comes in many forms." She had been accosted by someone who thought she should donate her knee-length hair to "the children", and she mused about how much joy her long braid actually brought to both kids and older folks presently. Thus, she was rather annoyed that someone would presume that she wasn't doing *enough*.
Edited by Bob S - September 15 2007 at 1:28pm
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I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better Sarah. The hardest time for me is when I have almost reached a goal and it's like I want to self-sabotage myself and I am very conscious of that.
I think we all have periods where we are feeling down and sometimes it can take a new top, new way of styling our hair or nail polish colour to perk us up.
I'm looking forward to the new hair pics. You're the one who inspired me to grow my hair long afterall
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