negative reactions for having longhair

I would like to share with this board a negative reaction I received for just having longhair.
I used to work in the Yukon Territory in northern Canada. One summer, I decided to drive down to Vancouver so one of my co-workers asked me if she could come down with me. I said of course. When we reached Prince George, a city located 500 miles north of Vancouver, seeing that she had a friend living there, she gave her a call. Right away, we were invited to come over,have dinner with her and her husband and that we should spend the night at their place. Shortly after our arrival, her husband left the house without saying a word. When came time for dinner, I thought it would be appropriate to wait for him to return. I was shocked as well as my friend to hear that he will not be returning for dinner because he had gone to stay at a friend's place. The reason? He just could not stand me because I had longhair!! Of course, I have received those rude comments such as " You need an haircut" or You look like a girl" from strangers but I think this lady's husband went a bit too far!! I wonder if any long-haired guys on this board ever had bad experiences for having longhair? How come women can have their hair as long or as short as they want without any problems but for us, guys, if we decide to have very long hair, WOW that's another story!!
Dave, did you have a nice weekend on the golf course?
Gilles

Hi; I've been lurking for a while now. It's time to go public, I guess! My kid brother was on both sides of the fence; he had long hair down to his waist, coal black (I was so envious), went into the Army and kept it short after he moved back home, then grew it out again. People make some pretty inaccurate assumptions about all *extreme* hair lengths, and yeah, they don't mind telling you either! I was in the military for a few years myself, and there were definitely some long-haired souls with high 'n tight haircuts! My hair was pretty short at the time, and I'm tall for a girl, so you can imagine some of the nastiness I ran into, and in front of my small children, too. Sounds like your *gracious host* needs to get out of the house more often, and you were better off without his presence, IMHO. Don't you feel sorry for such narrow minds and those who live with them? I'm happy to read you haven't let anyone pressure you into cutting your hair!

Jean

Since this isn't a BOTM club, this is a little off-track, but it's funny you should mention the five k's, Kintaro. I'm 2/3 of the way through Shauna Singh Baldwin's book What the Body Remembers. She repeatedly mentions the five k's (and I had no idea before I read this what they are). It's a complex, fascinating read. I sure hope the italics work the way I want for the title quote!

Jean

I've had lot's of negative reactions when I had long hair. Was told many times that maybe I should consider a haircut, told I looked like a girl, etc. Unfortunately I caved into the negative comments and ignored the positive ones and ended up cutting my hair :( Little advice: Don't do that lol I liked it short at first, but now I want it long again and am in the process of growing it out. I won't be cutting it this time. I guess a guy will always catch flak if he's got long hair, but the important thing to remember is to stay true to what you want and who you are, and what anybody else thinks doesn't really matter. That's my 2 cents :)

I just wanted to point out that this person decided to leave and let the unfamiliar guest stay. This indeed is a gracious host. He also did not confront anyone - just left - perhaps this person has a major issue from their past/childhood abuse/etc with a long haired male figure. Who knows?

Anyway .... let us, too, be open minded.

Thank you, Isla. When I used those words, that's exactly what I meant. He left his guests feeling emotionally uncomfortable, and that's part of being a good host.

Jean

I'm just wondering if any females here have had anti long hair discrimination. All my life, I dealt with a grandmother who has a pathological hatred of hair. My hair was above the ear at all times when I was a child. My grandmother would have it forcibly cut and permed and I was severly punished one time for screaming in the "ugly shop" that they'd ruined me. I always wanted long, flowing princess hair. Even the males in the family hate hair. My grandfather told me that if I was his daughter he would cut my hair to my shoulders just because he could. How am I supposed to believe they love me if they say things like that? As late as when I was 17, my grandmother told me that because I got lice (the one time in my life) that "That hair's got to go." I jumped out of her car and into mine and went to my youth minister and called my parents. My hair was saved. This is painful to talk about, but I'm glad to finally talk about it.

Well, the minister wasn't as much help as I thought he'd be. He did tell my grandmother later that I was obsessed with my hair, although he didn't think cutting it was the answer. When I'd never been allowed to have hair, I did get a little obsessive and protective. That's only natural that I'd develop a extreme response in response to what my family did to me. I have a lot of issues now about hair. Instead of it being an accessory, it's my only beauty. My worst fear is forced haircuts, but I find them oddly intriguing. I go on those story sites, and am repulsed yet turned on. I'm glad I've found a place to just get all this out of my head.

So sorry to hear you've been forced to ensure such treatment, Hippychik. I can empathize. Feel free to share your thoughts here or, as Uzma suggests, through board mail ("bmail") with those you might wish to discuss some issues privately.

My worst fear is forced haircuts, but I find them oddly intriguing.

Hi Hippychik, I share that fear somewhat, too, and always blamed it on the Jane Eyre wherein there is violent anger as they force Jane into a haircut as some sort of punishment. For years, I didn't want to read the book so as to avoid that particular scene. Growing up Catholic, I learned of a true story in which a girl (St Catherine, I think) also endured a very harshly given haircut as a punishment.

Until I reached adolescence, my hair was always kept at my shoulders. Admittedly, I wasn't too conscious about it except when a schoolmate commented on its unkemptness. {blush}

But the only bad comments I get about length are from my mother, she was mortified that I didn't cut it when pregnant back with my first child. Furthermore, she believes it makes me vulnerable to attack. And at the least, is simply "not fitting". For years she'd clip pics out of mags of cuts/styles that she thought would be suitable.......