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Dreams do come true

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Juliet View Drop Down
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    Posted: January 15 2003 at 10:35pm
Ok,
I have been reading messages on these boards,
my husband like many of you loves long hair.
When he met me last year I had hair about 6 in past my shoulders.
I had been growing it for about two years. He adored it.
Which is funny, cause normaly my hair is shoulder length or shorter,
I had grown it out while I worked as a costumed performer in a titanic exhibet.
I wonder if he wouldn`t have noticed me if my hair was short.
Life is weird like that.
But shortly before we got engaged I cut it,
to what was supose to be shoulder length.
It ended up at chin length. Yea it was really bad, sigh.
But he loved me anyway and was so sweet.
Well that was May of last year.
But this week we talked honestly,
and I found out how much he loved it long,
but he never had the heart to tell me.
Because I`m really self-concious.
And he was also afraid of comming across, like a dictator.... "You must have long hair"
He was really sweet about it. So I decided to grow my hair.
I don`t know why but it make me nervous, I`m not big on patience.
And when My hair is longer, I`m a lot more shy.
Well, theres my story. Words of encouragement, tips or advice would be great.

Juliet
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uzma View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote uzma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 16 2003 at 1:34pm
Dear Juliet

I am so pleased for you - You have a good man there - they are a rarity so keep him close.
How wonderful that he is more considerate of your feelings and your opinion of him, than his own preferences regarding your appearance.

Why did you cut your hair before the engagement? I presume, based on your comments about being shyer when it is long, that you felt more confident when it was short.......?
Do you feel more self-conscious when it is longer? Is that because it enhances your womanliness/sexuality/vulnerability or some other reason?

I would encourage you to examine your feelings about yourself as your grow your hair out. Discuss them on this board if you like and see how many others experience similar and what advice you get.

In terms of patience and nervousness, I share your feelings for my own reasons and have found that caring for, decorating and perfuming i.e taking real pleasure in it as it grows out is a way of getting closer to yourself...almost like falling in love with this transforming appearance of yourself.

Go for it, Juliet. Be brave and go against the general flow. Enable your man to have the woman he loves be her most beautiful for him.
That is something to take pride in.

Best wishes

Uzma
Uzi

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Juliet View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Juliet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 16 2003 at 2:20pm
Thanks,
When I was younger hair was always a weird issue. I had little control over it. There were times when having long hair felt like a privilege, that at any time might be revoced. (Wow, bad spelling) oh well. My mom kind of had supreme power over my hair. Especialy since she was the one who cut it. When I was very little it was even a threat to get me to do things. Like sit still or I`ll just cut this off. Or like, my evil grandfather, would threaten to cut it off, to get me to do his evil bidding. (don`t ask) But for a 3 year old that`s a very scary threat. So as I got a little older and stoped crying during haircuts, it was empowering. Then when I started taking an active role in my hair length, that changed things too.
When I cut my hair in May it was self empowering. I was afraid of losing my sence of self. Just being HIS wife. (no my husbands not like that) But I was very independant.
Also I often (when it`s the rignt length) feel very atractive. I also get a lot more attention. I feel like I look frumpy with long hair. Which is actualy just something that was been instiled in me by my mother. My whole life I remember her pointing out people with shorter hair and saying.. "You`d look so good with your hair that way".
Wow, I had never realized this before. When I was younger I loved long hair. I dreamed of having long hair. I also use to has nightmares about haircuts. Over time I just stoped believing I looked good with it. And if it was shorter I needn`t live in fear.
WELL! This HAS been interesting.
Thank you for your support and listening ear, Uzma. I`m finnaly starting to understand myself.

Thanks,
Juliet
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AK View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AK Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 16 2003 at 3:09pm
Juliet - This is going to sound a bit negative I think and maybe something that shouldn`t be posted in something like a hair forum, but I get so tired of hearing women talk about choosing their hairstyles based on what their boyfriends, husbands, or men in general think is attractive. What do YOU like? Yes he is your husband and maybe he WAS sweet when he told you - but it`s ultimately your hair and your decision. If YOU like long hair - grow it out - but if you like short hair (regardless of what happened to you in your past) keep it short. Look at pictures of yourself with short hair and with long hair and decide what you prefer. It also seems to me that some of your issues go beyond just your hair (which you already seem to know) - self confidence and self-esteem issues. Maybe you should find someone to talk to about these - and here are a couple of books that I think might help too - "Reviving Ophelia", and "The Beauty Myth".

Good luck
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duke View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote duke Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 17 2003 at 12:50pm
Hello, AK.

Note she said her husband completely respects her wishes. So there is nothing wrong with
her pleasing him if she so choses.

Note that this is not a sexist issue. Many guys please girls too, by wearing their hair short.
Or shaving off facial hair. So this does not have to be about control but about mutual love.

And Juliet, your mom belongs in the same place as mine - before Dr. Phil at his most
candid!!!!! :D :( :D :(
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Metal man View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Metal man Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 17 2003 at 7:43pm
Ain`t nothing wrong with a man or woman pleasing each other.
I had a chick talk me into getting a pierced ear years ago and wearing an earring,when I was just a lad, but the bennies I got from it, a little sweet lovin from the sweet young thing. She was tasty.

Sometimes a man or a woman can cut their hair different, grow it out , whatever, just to give each other some kicks.

The Metal man though digs all kinda women from the short haired crop cuties to the rear end length haired beauties, to pretty near anything in between, as long as the woman is a sweet pretty thing wantin to please the Metal man.

Ain`t nothin wrong with pleasin the other gender . I can dig that!
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Lady Maria View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lady Maria Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 17 2003 at 8:47pm
A man and a woman pleasing each other is what it`s all about, in more ways than just hair fashion!

...Speaking of, my guy is going to be home in appox. an hour. Time to put on something sexy!
Lady Maria
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kimmyluna View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kimmyluna Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 20 2003 at 1:28pm
Originally posted by Juliet Juliet wrote:

Thanks,
When I was younger hair was always a weird issue. I had little control over it. There were times when having long hair felt like a privilege, that at any time might be revoced. (Wow, bad spelling) oh well. My mom kind of had supreme power over my hair. Especialy since she was the one who cut it. When I was very little it was even a threat to get me to do things. Like sit still or I'll just cut this off. Or like, my evil grandfather, would threaten to cut it off, to get me to do his evil bidding. (don't ask) But for a 3 year old that's a very scary threat. So as I got a little older and stoped crying during haircuts, it was empowering. Then when I started taking an active role in my hair length, that changed things too.
When I cut my hair in May it was self empowering. I was afraid of losing my sence of self. Just being HIS wife. (no my husbands not like that) But I was very independant.
Also I often (when it's the rignt length) feel very atractive. I also get a lot more attention. I feel like I look frumpy with long hair. Which is actualy just something that was been instiled in me by my mother. My whole life I remember her pointing out people with shorter hair and saying.. "You'd look so good with your hair that way".
Wow, I had never realized this before. When I was younger I loved long hair. I dreamed of having long hair. I also use to has nightmares about haircuts. Over time I just stoped believing I looked good with it. And if it was shorter I needn't live in fear.
WELL! This HAS been interesting.
Thank you for your support and listening ear, Uzma. I'm finnaly starting to understand myself.

Thanks,
Juliet


Hi, Juliet, I know exactly how you feel about the dreams or nightmares. A couple of times, I would have dreams of having really long hair that went almost down to my butt, but not quite. For a very long time, I`ve been wanting long hair (right now, it`s a little past my shoulders) and actually, just recently, I`ve had a dream where I was looking at myself in the mirror in my bathroom admiring how long my hair was. It was very pretty. But, if you read any of my other posts, they say that I love long haired women, especially from Lord of the Rings, with those beautiful medieval style dresses. It`s very womanly and very beautiful, but don`t think I will ever have hair that long. Maybe...

I even cut all my hair off one time before when I was younger and a teenager. I did feel empowered when I did that and very free. :) Do what you feel is right, girl, you know that whatever you do, you will always have encouragement along the way.
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
Not a star? big deal. star in your own
damn show.
Your body is your temple, worship it.
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