Bad Hair Life

Melanie--Put the clippers down.Put. The clippers. Down.Don't make me wrestle them out of your hand. There now. Listen: A lot of the women on this forum have been where you are--and they've used it as a resource to revive their hair. You'll find a LOT of posts from people who tried something drastic one bad hair day, and set themselves up for a bad hair YEAR.At 23, I've already suffered a dozen bad perms, countless bleach jobs, knee-length extensions that were so heavy I nearly broke my neck every time I tossed my hair, more layers than Marie Chantal's wedding cake, and bright blue streaks (an accident). For most of my life, my hair was an unmanageable disaster. All because I couldn't leave it alone. I was always convinced that /this/ process would be the one to set it all right. Then you need a process to fix THAT process, and a process to fix THAT and..."I don't know why she swallowed the fly."Okay, Melanie, what you DON'T need are any more processes. Forget the dye jobs--your own color is beautiful and suits you besides. You need serious Damage Control. I'm going to let someone like Karen or Cher suggest products, because I don't have your hair type. But I'm guessing a /lot/ of intensive conditioning is in order. (You /can/ turn overprocessed hair into nice hair. I am living proof!)Your hair sounds like it would be beautiful long. I'd resolve to start growing it out again this second. But get ready to face several months of frustration and bad hair days, because most everyone does when they make this decision. **The hardest part of growing your hair out is leaving it alone.**This means NOT running to a salon when you can't get it do anything one particular day. A don't try to make your hair somwthing it's not, because that's a recipe for disappointment and damaged hair. Instead of trying to chemically alter your hair's texture, concentrate on learning to work with it the way it is naturally. Hair like yours that's healthy and long is /gorgeous/. It sounds to me like you just haven't found the right products to battle the Alabama humidity.Rather than hack off the damage, I would just start taking excellent care of it and trim it off a little at a time. Grow it out with the rest of your hair. Be very patient. It might be a long time before it looks GOOD.Every woman at one time or another is convinced she has the worst hair in the world. Somewhere, someone probably /does/ have the worst hair in the world. I'm willing to bet it isn't you. ;)All best,Ally

Melanie,PUT THE CLIPPERS DOWN! I agree with everything that has been suggested to you. I also have thick naturally curly hair, the thickest in the family and the most unruly. I have had my hair professionally relaxed a couple of times, never again it burns and it stinks and then you are left with frizzy straight hair instead of frizzy curly hair.I after all the days of crying because your hair will not co-operate have realized let your curly hair be curly. Let it grow, the best my hair ever looked was when it was all one length down past midback. Just four weeks ago I got it chopped with layers and I am regretting doing it everyday.I feel for you, I know what you are going through.I suggest stop dying,relaxing,and cutting.Read the Ouidad article it says for curly hair, grow it and don't put layers in.So I am re-starting back to what I had,trying to grow out my layers.My hair is at the sit on your shoulder all day and at the end of the day it has fluffed up to your ears stage, my other layer just fits into a barette. I always notice a huge difference between store products to salon products. I have been told as a must for curly hair, use salon produts ALWAYS.Try the ones that say deep conditioner and moisturizing in the titles also use ones for curly or permed hair as well as a leave in conditioner. Don't use a blow dryer anymore until your hair starts getting repaired.If you buy from a salon, try a product and if you don't like it they all let you return it for an exchange for another one.I was also told you only need to use a gel for curly hair, scrunch and let dry naturally, as your styling product.It gets rid of the frizzy look.Best of luck. Keep posting we'll all be there for you!

Thanks, all of you. I enjoy knowing that there are people who don't just think I'm being silly about all of this.Here's the latest: I went to wash my hair today, conditioned really, really, really well, and towel dried it, only to find broken, gummy clumps in my towel. That was it. I did in fact go to another salon, and had the damage assessed. I felt like a science project... all the colorists and stylists were gathered 'round my head, saying things like "hmmmm," and the ever-popular "what did you do to yourself?" Sheepishly, I replied that a professional did it, and the head stylist retorted, "You may have gone to a salon, but you didn't see a professional!!" That at least made me laugh. They gave me a deep conditioner, and cut the remaining mess into an even shape..."high and tight," as my military husband would say... The conditioning treatment loosened up some of the color, so now I have a deep fuschia buzz cut. Fortunately, this too, makes me laugh. I am hanging tough with your inspiration, and conditioning like a mad person. The stylist told me only to shampoo once or twice a week, and to condition every time I get my hair wet. Soooo, now it's just the waiting game. I swear, there should be a sign, milk-carton style, at the reception desk of every salon in a 50 mile radius of my house. It would have my picture, and say, "If you see this woman, make her go home. There is nothing you can do for her that will not be a disaster. Be persistent...she will insist. Let her look at some books, and call her husband to wrangle her out of the salon..." Once again, thanks to you all. I'm enjoying the informative posts!Melanie

> I swear, there should be a sign, milk-carton style, at the reception desk of every> salon in a 50 mile radius of my house. It would have my picture, and say, "If you> see this woman, make her go home. There is nothing you can do for her that will not> be a disaster. Be persistent...she will insist. Let her look at some books, and call> her husband to wrangle her out of the salon..."ROFLOL!!Melanie,You are too funny! I admire your spirit. Best of luck in your hair re-growth goals!Dave