Live and let live

korsakovhatt3 wrote: I've had people suggest that I cut my hair and donate it as well. The suggestion seems to be that I'm "hoarding" all the hair. My response to those people is that they are perfectly welcome to grow their own donation.

Exactly. They may seem to think that you're "hoading" some significant portion of the world's supply of long hair, yet at the same time they "selfishly" discard so much cumulative hair over the course of years by having their hair frequently trimmed at the salon. Funny how "their" perception of the equation seems to find it easy to fault "us" for our legitimate choice not to do as they do.

Exactly; you wouldn't go up to someone else and say, "We've decided that a percentage of your income is going to go towards [insert cause here]," because then, even if it is a charitable act, it's not done of the person's own free will. True volunteerism is self-initiated.

I agree with you, Diane. I've only had one bad hair day since I grew my hair long again. That was when I accidentally dyed it apricot a month ago. I think long hair is so much easier to take care of. No more messy mushroom-head mornings like I had in high school.

Juliana (from Canada too)

Hi deltagirl! If not a day goes by that you don't have to justify your appearance, I think you may need to tell the people who say such things that they are harassing you and trying to control you for selfish reasons. You can tell them that you would never tell them what to wear, or how to get their hair cut, and to do so to you is just plain rude.

The only people who ever nagged me to cut my hair when it was bsl were my brother and mother. I think the reason for my mother was because when she was in high school (which she called "the best years of your life"....wasn't mine!), there was only one girl there with shoulder length hair and everyone else had close curly cuts. I saw her yearbook, it was from 1952 and short hair was just the ONLY thing acceptable there. So, she always thought I should have a short, curled do even though I was born in the mid 70s. My brother, I suppose, just picked up on her dislike of long hair and carried it off as his own, getting all of his girlfriends to cut off their hair. Since many people have long hair that isn't in good condition, they never thought it could look good? Hey, I don't know.

There's nothing better than a head of long hair in great condition, and these days, with great forums like this, we know how to treat our hair right and keep it looking great!

And to those of you who have mothers who are getting nagged to cut it, there's nothing more elegant on an older woman than a thick loose bun or big french twist. It looks much more beautiful than the thin old Helmet Head (what korsakovhatt3 calls the Irish Mammy!).

These are just some thoughts...

Don't offer an explanation. Your enemies don't deserve it and your friends don't need it.

"Well, how very presumptious of you", spoken calmly, can be a very effective reply to many people.

To protect the length of your hair,

(a) Don't cut it at all.
or
(b) Cut it yourself.
or
(c) Take a friend along to the salon to watch while your hair is being trimmed to see that your wishes are honored.

Hairstylists are people, as individual as people with long hair, or anyone else. Most of us (hairstylists)do not feel good about being judged as a group, anymore than most of us (longhair enthusiasts) would enjoy being judged as a group.

Take responsibility for how we and our hair are treated. Stating a preference quietly, and if necessary, walking away, are defenses that have worked well for me.

I have a close relative, who used to be critical of my hair, specifically its length. She doesn't say anything to me about it now, after I quit visiting her and told her why I quit visiting her and told her I would love to visit with her if she would just refrain from that criticism. I visit her frequently now.
If she slips up, I say, "Well, how very presumptious of you"... and that usually works.

Now, these are just my thoughts, they are not even suggestions of what I think anyone else should do.
If they were, then I would be being presumptious myself.

strawberryfine
A hairstylist who is letting her hair grow to terminal length.

Kewl, Susan. Glad we could help. I have plenty of "ammunition" in mind. Unfortunately I've had to use it in the past. Oh well... let me (us) know if you feel you need more "reinforcement."