QuoteReplyTopic: I'm losing it...feelin' ugly Posted: October 19 2006 at 12:28pm
Hi again, I really need to vent. I am sooooo depressed. Just got diagnosed with an eye disorder and had to give up eye make up. I have bags and swelling under my eyes and I'm not pretty. I recently cut fringes, then cut 4" in length to get rid of old layers and bleached ends- it's still 22". I have fair/very light skin, a biggish forehead. I don't think I'm a candidate for eye bag surgery as the incision is made where my eye gland disfunction is located-scar tissue; My aunt hates my fringes; my significant guy loves them and I am just confused. Sometimes I like them; sometimes I don't. What do you do when you really want long pretty hair and you just feel like your face is well, just plain ugly? I could use any support anyone has to spare. I am about ready to shave my head and put a bag over it... I love the look of no bangs but sometimes feel the need to hide part of my face...sometimes I like the bangs look...
Please help...
SF
strawberryfine
2aFii
12/25.5"/terminal length after reaching "small of my back length"
arch94
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First of all, Strawberry, you seem to have issues from your past which should be dead and buried. Your hair is incredible, and will only become moreso as it gains length.
I've noticed that many women magnify facial and body flaws, sometimes to the point of self- destruction. Surprisingly, those who castigate their appearance include many of THE most beautiful women. I admit that I don't comprehend what I hear from them sometimes. As for you, since I don't have a clue what you look like, all I can say is that even *if* you are plain, the way you carry yourself can make you attractive, even beautiful, to many guys. Ultimately, you yourself will believe it too! Stunning long hair alone, such as you possess, is worth 50 points out of a possible 100 on any beauty scale. So you have an excellent head start!
I'll bet that you, with or without fringe, look ravishing. I guess what I'm saying, Strawberry, is that the "shave and bag it" routine would not be a good idea! (lol) Blessings, Bob
If you wanted to grow long hair in the past (which I know you did), you
must have found it beautiful. Why even think of shaving it off
when you already know you find it pretty, so would probably be very
happy with it on yourself, and feel more beautiful? I don't think
I'm all that hot, and my age is starting to show, but my hair makes me
feel beautiful some days, and I really enjoy that feeling.
Keep your hair for how happy it will make you on the good days!
I know how it feels think parts of yourself make you ugly, but really,
I do agree with Bob that we overdramatize that. Then we make others
think we are ugly by "acting ugly" (hiding or acting underconfident),
then when others pick up on that they treat us like we're ugly and only
reinforce for us that we were right - we are ugly! Insulting
yourself only makes you feel worse, and starts a painful cycle because
somehow, others can always tell when a person is underconfident and
many just LOVE to make us feel worse for some reason!
My point is that even if you don't like the way you look right now,
don't let it ever make you feel like you are "less than" others.
You are not.
Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com
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I'm feel for ya girl. Sometimes we just havve our bad days and I whole-heartedly agree with Bob(I LOVE that name!) on the confidence issue. I know people that are called preety simply because the way they hold themselves. Hope ya feel better soon and if it makes you feel better I have a forehead the size of my hand. ( and I have a big hand! )
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Strawberryfine......(((((((((((((BIG HUG))))))))))))). Whenever I have had a physical challenge or illness, my self esteem has plummeted. Just when my body needs the most love and care, I feel less than perfect, ugly, or inconsequential. I think there is a link to having physical problems crop up in our lives and feeling bad about ourselves. You body needs you right now to heal your eyes and take care of the rest of it (including your hair) so that you can move forward and be healthy. You are beautiful. You are loved. Keep saying that to yourself over and over until you believe it. And, it sounds like your guy is very supportive. Don't listen to your Aunt or anyone else who says anything negative about your appearance. Please be well and let us know how you're doing. By the way, I have an incredibly large forhead, a wide nose, and a few scars on my face (biggest scar is on my forehead!). (((((((((((((((BIG HUG FOR STRAWBERRY!))))))))))))))
Edited by SpecialKitty - October 21 2006 at 12:08pm
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I am saving every one of your posts. You people here are just incredible. I am feeling better today and have decided to get rid of the fringe. I just like that sleek look. My guy is supportive of the fringes, not too much without them, but I've decided to wear it without them and just do what I want to do. As for my aunt, she would criticize my appearance no matter what. I guess when I got over all the "I'm not too _______fill in the blank, to have long hair--too old, thin hair, etc., I needed to work on the "I'm not too ________, ugly, plain, etc. to let ALL my hair grow out. So I'm working on that now. The upside is that although it is a few inches shorter, I got rid of the layers and old bleach on the ends and when my fringes grow out to the length of the rest of my hair (22" now) the length will be past my waist. I think the whole no eyemakeup thing really got me but I'm getting over that. Curling the lashes makes them look longer and I'm concentrating on clothing, colors and accessories. I went out this morning and bought a bunch of ribbons in beautiful colors to hold my fringes back while they grow and a few small, wire back barrettes. I'm going to try to post some new pics soon.
Thanks so much!
Love ya all!
SF
Edited by strawberryfine - October 21 2006 at 5:55pm
strawberryfine
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12/25.5"/terminal length after reaching "small of my back length"
SpecialKitty
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Hey SF, I just wanted to say that I just took a gander at your avatar, and MAN OH MAN has your hair changed! It's long and shiny and gorgeousss. Big hugs to you. Have an extra happy hair day.
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First of all, Strawberry, you seem to have issues from your past which should be dead and buried. Your hair is incredible, and will only become moreso as it gains length.
Sometimes we just havve our bad days and I whole-heartedly agree with Bob(I LOVE that name!) on the confidence issue. I know people that are called preety simply because the way they hold themselves. Hope ya feel better soon and if it makes you feel better I have a forehead the size of my hand. ( and I have a big hand! )
my LJ