Age limit for long hair?

Lady Godiva - I enjoyed your story. Your ministers reflection was kind and insightful. Some people only look at others for faults.

Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, and the lady in my avatar comes from a pre-raphaelyte painting. I sketched during a little art class I was giving my sons and nephew this summer. After we learn about a particular style or movement in art, we get to try and draw, paint or mold anexample, either by original design or copy. She was a 5 minute sketch, but I loved her flowing hair with the flowers woven into it like lace.
Thanks.
jacqui

Viktoria wrote: I am following this discussion with interest. It is obviously creating a lot of emotion. Of course, non of us, regardless of how we like to look, want to be judged by our appearances. But the outside does say something, and what people "hear" when they see us isn´t necessarily the same thing.

I've been enjoying this discussion, too. Regarding the snipped quote, sometimes it's nice when your appearance says "good" things about you. I'll never forget one time several years ago, I was participating in a series of theology classes at my church. Out of the blue in one class, the senior minister, who ran the series, gestured to me to make a point. He had been discussing patience and endurance as positive character qualities, and he noted aloud to the large gathering in the room that with my long hair, I surely must fully understand what both words mean, as hair such as I had (have) is evidence of long-term dedication and the ability to persevere. I was so touched, as I'd never reflected upon my hair as such, and his recognition of my long hair as a marker of patience and endurance was remarkable to me, because he is nearly bald. I loved the delightful irony, not that bald individuals can't comprehend those virtues, but just the hair angle, as I don't believe he ever had long hair. So often in life, people who have never had long hair have no clue how much effort it requires, and this goes even more for super long hair.

Jennifer Eve

DaveDecker wrote: Although people do still sometimes ask me if I am in a rock band. (rolls eyes)

Fear not, Dave....you're not the only one who gets that. In Tangier a couple of years ago I would have said yes, if I knew it would not have led to much more conversation (and an attempt to sell me assorted items). LOL.

Chris

Maybe because we are so much a multi cultural society here we seem to pay more attention to the clothes we wear at work and not if someone has long hair or not. I do find that people who do have long hair at work tend to pull it back in buns etc which comes across as very classy looking. Personally I have had many diffirent careers in life and never once been told to cut my hair and in fact been invited a few times to model because I have long hair.
The other day my sister bought this very nice rose ponytail holder which is from New York and the stylist that sold the item said that people are growing their hair.
Yesterday I was at another boutique and been told the same that people are asking for large and small barrettes.
Two my stylist in life have very long hair. ONe is in another province and her hair reaches her ankles and the other one is here and she grows and cuts her hair once in a while.
Being professional has nothing to do with the lenght of hair, it has everything to do with conduct.

Hi Viktoria, welcome!

Viktoria wrote: Of course, non of us, regardless of how we like to look, want to be judged by our appearances.

We never want to be judged negatively. I would imagine that individually we wouldn't mind preferable prejudice, though.

Viktoria wrote: But the outside does say something, and what people "hear" when they see us isn´t necessarily the same thing.

There are aspects of our appearance which are "discretionary," and those which are a given. People make false assumptions about both, perhaps less so to "discretionary" appearance factors. Although people do still sometimes ask me if I am in a rock band. (rolls eyes)

Viktoria wrote: I think it is much a question of maturity. To be secure enough to trust that people´s opinion of me will be favorable (since I am such a nice person), and if not (because I break some kind of dresscode, or they are jealous), then my opinion of *me* will not be affected by that. I would never, five years ago, have been able to quit my frequent hairdressingappointments and still feel good about myself.

Glad to hear you broke the cycle and feel good about that.

I agree with you that maturity is critical. However, I do not think less of myself if/when others tell me that they dislike my hair. (Ironically, put-downs may actually build me -- not that I need it).

Viktoria wrote: PS When I was in high school, I had a friend who, when she saw a long haired girl, would grab me by the arm and whisper "Look at her! Let´s hate her!" That was a compliment from the heart, although the expression perhaps rude...

Hmm... yes, it is acknowledgement of the beauty of her long hair. I find it sad that your friend reacted that way. Was she physically incapable of growing her own hair long?

Hi Jacqui,

Vineman is entitled to his opinion of what you tell us that you do. You are more than welcome to disagree, and to tell him so. No matter what he thinks, you do not have to change your mind.

Although his assessment may have been a bit harsh, I don't see what he wrote as constituting a "personal attack." Therefore, I did not see the need to drag out my 'moderator's stick' and rap any knuckles.

As for those other posts in which the writer states their opinion that those in the workplace who wear short hair are "drones" or "robots," again, the writer is entitled to his/her opinion. It doesn't mean that it is correct. Silence from anybody else does not imply agreement. My opinion on the matter is that people should wear their hair the way they want it to be. If someone likes their hair, short, then they should feel free to wear their hair short. Likewise, if a person prefers their hair to be long, they should feel free to wear their hair long. Pressures (implied or stated) in workplace environments to cut long hair short are, IMO, inappropriate. Those who prefer long hair but cut their hair short for what they feel are the expectations of the workplace have made a choice. One they are not altogether happy about, but presumably it is one in which they feel they have chosen "the lesser of two evils." It may be easy for some to describe those who make that choice as a sell-out, but it isn't terribly accurate to make a blanket statement. For one thing, there is the degree of importance individuals place on having the hair length they prefer, and as with many things, the degree of preference for long hair may well span the spectrum from "love it and gotta have it" to "hate it and can't stand it." With a variety of "shades" inbetween.

So a long-haired person who has but a slight preference for long hair and perceives that a job that is very badly wanted and (perceived as being) easier to land with short hair will probably cut their hair short. Could this person be fairly described as a "sell-out?" I don't think so.

The question of whether or not someone is a "sell-out" (in this regard) may also be affected by the degree to which the perceived "need" for short hair is real. Into the "equation" goes assessments of this "need" for short hair. This assessment may be accurate, or it may be flawed. Some people might think that a man who has a job (like the one I have) with a high-profile company (like the one for which I work) would absolutely have to have (!) short hair. But my existence there is indisputable proof that such a belief is false.

I would guess that those who describe long-haired people who cut their hair short for the workplace as "sell-outs" are actually expressing their lament that people feel pressured to cut their long hair short for the workplace, especially given that it may in truth not actually help advance their career prospects. I guess, as with all things, expressing one's opinion with tact makes a world of difference in how it is taken.

That said, I hope you stick around, Jacqui.

I am following this discussion with interest. It is obviously creating a lot of emotion. Of course, non of us, regardless of how we like to look, want to be judged by our appearances. But the outside does say something, and what people "hear" when they see us isn´t necessarily the same thing.

I think it is much a question of maturity. To be secure enough to trust that people´s opinion of me will be favorable (since I am such a nice person), and if not (because I break some kind of dresscode, or they are jealous), then my opinion of *me* will not be affected by that. I would never, five years ago, have been able to quit my frequent hairdressingappointments and still feel good about myself.

Viktoria

PS When I was in high school, I had a friend who, when she saw a long haired girl, would grab me by the arm and whisper "Look at her! Let´s hate her!" That was a compliment from the heart, although the expression perhaps rude...

jacqui

Please stay. Not everyone here feels the shorties are drones etc...it their personal taste. I may complain when other critisized my long hair but Im not saying they are wrong to have short hair or to have an opinion about it.

Anyways, not all of us are militant longies...

Please stay...and again, i love your picture/drawing...did you do it? do you have a larger version online anywhere? Or any other artwork?

--Erinlynn