Age limit for long hair?

Hi Jacqui,

The people who post here are welcome to share their opinions. There are no requirements that a consensus opinion be formed, or that all opinions must align to be able to participate here.

What I'm suggesting is that if you disagree with the opinions of others here, feel free to voice your own opinion, so that everybody who reads this board can compare and contrast the viewpoints expressed.

Of course, you are welcome to stay if you wish (I hope you do), and you are also welcome to wander elsewhere. Whatever you wish.

I'd like to otherwise comment on your post. In my opinion, I don't believe that maintaining "a very strong commitment to focus on my profession" is necessarily incompatible with pursuing your own "vanity," or preferred hair length and style. As I've said before, I believe professionalism is encapsulated within the things that you think, do (actions) and say.

Similarly (but not identically) to you, "I am a big believer in first impressions in the professional world." What do I see or "look" for when I meet people for the first time? Their professionalism, as I define it. Not necessarily the slickest suit, which (depending on how they act) might lead me to feel that they depend on the clothes purely to impress me since otherwise they haven't. No, I am more concerned with their attitude and behavior, what they say and do... the quality of our interaction. Has it been mutually satisfactory and productive? The clothes -- and hair -- have nothing to do with the quality of the exchange, or the degree of respect I accord the other person.

However, I do wholeheartedly agree with you, saying "In my profession (architecture) to design something that does not meet my level of integrity and beauty...that IS a sellout." Based on my previous paragraph, I am sure you can see why I agree with you.

I don't wear my hair to suit the tastes and whims of others in the professional world. Obviously. And if anybody in the professional world dared to treat me with professional disrespect because of my hair, I would view them as an idiot who doesn't have their priorities straight. It's okay for a person to dislike the way another looks, but it is an entirely different matter to express it. THAT would be unprofessional.

You can call it selling out....or you can call it a very strong commitment to focus on my profession and not on my own vanity. I will say something that may offend some here(if so I am sincere in my apologies). IT is just hair!! It is only selling out (imo) if I actually CARED about having long hair.....I did not care at the time about having long hair....on the contrary - as I stated before, I was looking forward to "shedding my skin" of college identity. I am a big believer in first impressions in the professional world. I don't consider myself to be a sellout...Now, In my profession (architecture) to design something that does not meet my level of integrity and beauty...that IS a sellout. I guess we all have our limits.

I think I have decided that the long hair board may not be for me....I am finding a lot of criticism and some are becoming a bit too militant for my taste.
Take care to those who give a lot of love and support.
jacqui

Sorry hairalways but that's called "selling out", I remember one girl came on this board before freaking out ecause of what she did to her hair, you're lucky that you liked it. Ultimately business means nothing and money means nothing unless you're happy enough to use it.

Most the guys I know with long hair have cut it short - mainly because places won't hire them. This is discrimination almost on a par with racism, and it disgusts me.

Hello Anna Jean Lee,

So you are a collegian, huh? A business student, no less? That's great! I fondly remember my days as a student in college, studying engineering and business. Those were the days, however, when young women interested in pursuing careers in business were counseled by the authors of some wretched book (dress for success, or some such title) promoted the notion that in order to be taken seriously in the then-male-dominated workplace, women must adapt and make like chameleons, shedding vestiges of their womanly appearance. This advice manifested itself prescriptively as "cut the hair short, wear business suits with shoulder-pads to lend a look of authority, etc." blah blah blah.

I have been working in the world of professional office environments for nearly 20 years now (has it really been that long already?!) and from all of the knowledge, experience and wisdom I've gained and gleaned through those 2 decades, have come to a resolutely firm conclusion regarding those previously-described prescriptive notions for women in business.

It's all a bunch of baloney.

I will tell you what I believe are the secrets to success in the business world. (1) endeavor to do your job to the best of your abilities. (2) work hard, smart, diligently, and relentlessly. (3) never be afraid to say "I don't know." Follow-up with "I'd love to learn." And then learn. (4) Focus on why you are in the employ of another. Do not become distracted with an excessive amount of personal (real life) issues while at work. (5) Be honest and fair in your interactions with others, and treat others with respect (this can be difficult at times -- fight the temptation). (6) Learn to accept fair criticism of your work efforts from your superiors. (7) Learn how to determine priorities, and address the most important priorities first. (8) When things go wrong -- and they will -- don't give up; just keep trying.

Well, I'm sure I could add many more "secrets of success" to the list; the point is that none of it has to do with the length of one's hair! I have had and had (what I consider to be, anyway) a good career and a good job (respectively), and I am a man whose hair is to his knees. If I can simultaneously have these things and long hair, then anybody can do it. And I believe that the people I work for and with perceive me not as "Dave that guy who looks inappropriate for the workplace" but rather as "Dave that guy who may look a bit unusual but is a 'good' guy." Some of you might say I am fooling myself, but I know how others interact with me now and I know how they interacted with me when I had very short hair, and do you know what? It wasn't any different (and certainly no better) with short hair. Because the bottom line is that professionalism has everything to do with what one says and what one does and has absolutely nothing to do with what one looks like, and all those who would have you believe that professionalism is defined by your appearance not only do not speak the truth, but they do not have your best interests in mind.

So, I can say with complete certainty that your classmates who are convinced that long hair is unprofessional have absolutely no idea what they are talking about. It is sad and unfortunate that the dogma they espouse is still in wide circulation; nevertheless, the fact that it is widely believed does not prove it as an infallible truth. Remember, at one time, people believed the world was flat. And they were wrong. So too are those, such as your classmates, who think that professionalism is gained when hair is lost.

In fact, in my estimation, the contrary is true. When young women approaching college graduation cut their hair short in an attempt to appear to be more "professional," it tells me that they are so lacking in confidence with their honest sense of self that they have, unwittingly and ironically, actually displayed their lack of self-confidence. They perceive the need for a haircut as a crutch for a measure of credibility. A flimsy crutch, at that. On the other hand, those who are more self-confident believe in themselves and their abilities to impress those with whom they interview, and don't feel obliged to sell themselves short.

So the next time your classmates try to make you feel badly about wearing your hair long, just smile with pity on them because, in their weakness, they felt compelled to succumb to a misguided fallacy, while you remained strong and true to yourself.

Hi Duke,

Nice to see you posting here.

Thank you for sharing your insights on the subject. I generally agree with you.

well ive never been 30 before. or 16 for that matter, but I thought it was intersting how all of the petite women with long hair werent taken seriously and thought of as young and girlie.

I'm 15 and 5'9. When I was 13 I was 5'7 or 5'8 with short hair that went from red to highlighted, and people often asked me where I went to college. People still assume i'm older. I've been asked to clubs before when I walk around the beach and when I tell guys my age they're all "OH MY GOD I'm sorry I thought you were at LEAST 18." And walk away.

I guess I might look older, but I dont think I do. I think i look 15, just bigger. so does my family.

its weird how people judge others maturity when they KNOW a persons age (like at work) by their hair and their size.

as for hair... I look ridiculous with short hair. And I looklike my mother, who has short hair at 43 because she lost it to chemo and is growing it long again, and she looks MUCH better with long hair. so I dont plan to cut it short... ever. again. but I honestly cant say if I'll still even LIKE long hair when im 30.

I have been a short-haired girl all my life, and I am facing a LOT of resistance from my mom and others about the fact that I am growing my hair out. (it is only at shoulder-length right now) They keep saying, "you looked so cute with your hair short...why grow it out?" My answer-"because I want to dang it, so shut up!" BTW, I am 33 yrs old, which I think, means that I am supposedly "too old" for long hair...hogwash!

There is a woman at work who comments about women she sees with long hair- "she has no business having hair that long at her age!" This just irritates me...what business does she or anyone else have in determining to what length another woman should grow her hair? I don't understand this long=girlish philosophy.

I come to this board to mainly "lurk" and get some support from others who are invested in their tresses. Whenever I am tempted to cut my hair because it won't behave or because it's got funky layers, I visit these boards and my resolve is renewed!

Jacqui, I agree completely with you! Can you imagine the absolutely gorgeous Katherine Hepburn with one of those horrid little buzzcuts that I've seen on elderly women?!

What I do think is unattractive is when long hair is not properly styled or kept healthy. Scraggly ends are unattractive on any length of hair.

But, an elderly lady with an elegant little bun with gentle, wisps of hair kissing her cheeks is the epitome of graceful aging to me. Also, on the rare times I've seen long, almost completely white hair on elderly women, I have been pleasantly surprised at how feminine they looked. Of course, femininity is not just reserved for younger women! But I think it can be a bit harder to achieve as one ages. Having beautiful long hair only adds to the beauty of a woman, in my opinion (keeping in mind that it is healthy and styled well -- pigtails high on the head for an 80-year-old is not quite going to do it for me....!)

The trick Julie is to not care what others think. What do they know anyway?!!!!

If you know you are a grown up woman and good at your job, what does it matter what others think?

As far as being called a "girl" when you are over 18 and a woman, I wouldn't tolerate that, I would say something like, "Excuse me, I'm a woman not a girl". -(unless it is said in the spirit of fun)-. No woman should be refered to as a "girl", regardless if she has long hair or not. You have a right in ANY workplace to get at least some of respect.

You mentioned that you are petite and Asian, ... well I'm small and petite too and a natural blonde, and yes..., unfortunately small women are sometimes looked at as "girls" too -(don't you hate that!!!!!)-...
When I wore my hair long I often got the "Hey there Blondie" routine from guys , even walking down the street. I didn't much care for it and I always carried a can of MACE just in case ..... Also some people think blondes are dumb. -(Who was the jerk who invented the idea that blondes are dumb? No basis in fact at all !)- All of the stereotypes about women and their hair!.. jeez !

I don't worry too much about what others think, like I said before I will compromise but only to a degree. I may be petite that doesn't mean you can push me around. No sireeee!

Jacqui wrote:

think that long hair does signify youth....just as yellow and fluffy down defines a baby chick.

Long hair signifies different things in different cultures at different times.

Baby chicks have yellow fluffy down which turns into feathers when they are fully grown adult ducks. This is nature.
There is no such correlation between long hair and youth in human physiology.
In fact, to grow hair to the floor means that you have lived a significant number of years.
Therefore, if anything, really long hair is an outcome of age not youth.

On the work front, there are a lot of illogical rules about appearance and presentability.

I manage £120m worth of budgets.
If I went to work tomorrow with an eyebrow piercing and my ripped jeans it would be laughed at and frowned on.
In the longer run, I may lose my job, not because of any incompetence in performing my role, but because I have disassociated myself from the corporate tribe and their tribal markers.

We play a role at work.
We play "lets pretend" and "dress up" and adhere to a false hierarchy, moronic values and political gaming.
I save my Real Self for the 16 hours of the day that I am not in the zoo.
Having said that, I do show my teeth, claws and true colours on occasion...............

My corporate-friendly appearance, including hair tied back, "signifies" my compromise to earn a good living.
My long hair - when it gets truly long - will "define" my status as a physically mature adult with full-grown hair.

Nature's definition will triumph!!

(Drat: can't spell today)