QuoteReplyTopic: long hair on boys Posted: August 16 2003 at 2:15am
i would like to get an unbiased opinion...my son is 15 mo old with the most beautiful blondish hair that is just starting to get long and thick. so much so that people are starting to mistake him for a girl (no matter what color he wears) it is only hitting the top of his back so its not super long or anything, but i would like to let it grow longer. a woman actually accused me of neglect and abuse for letting his hair grow!! should i cut it so people dont tease him? he can always make his own decisions later...(i would attach pic if i knew how..i'm not very computer literate!!)
If your son is safe, clean, healthy, and happy, I fail to see how letting his hair grow could be called neglect and abuse. Ignore her; if she'd worked in the nursing and teaching fields as long as I have, she'd know what true child neglect and abuse looks like. Your child's beautiful hair is simply another way for you to treasure and enjoy him. I'm interested to hear what others here have to say about this!
Uzi-Keep the hair prayers coming; I've been involuntarily transferred to an inner-city middle school. Hey, as long as I keep my sense of humor, the hair will survive! I think I will need to be very good to myself, and buy lots of hair treats!
And on that note, I'm off to enjoy this beautiful Saturday! You guys have a good weekend, too.
Jean
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Tódia
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i think he should make the desicion when he`s older.. it`s not very usual for young boys to have long hair. but it`s you`ve got to make the choice. lol
My son had beautiful blonde curls. I didn't cut his hair til he was four. People would think he was a girl because of his beautiful curls. He is now 22, and has dark hair which he is growing out. If you like it and keep it nice, grow it out. He'll tell you when he's ready to get it cut!
Laine1998
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There is nothing wrong with a boy having longer hair. Infact many cultures include boys/men having long hair. I know a Somoan (spelling) family, and the 2 older girls and 1 boy, from the back you cannot differenate who is who. They all have gorgeous thick wavy long black hair. The other girl is just over a year, and her hair is growing.
IMHO, babies, and even toddlers can look one sex or the other, it just depends on how you dress them. Good luck on keeping the food out of that hair
As a young boy I was teased mercilessly and I had *short* hair. Kids will tease other kids. If his hair is short, they will find something else to tease him about. (The thing that got me teased was my grandmother's enjoyment of dressing me in little sailor suits). The best thing you can do for your son as far as teasing goes is to instill in him a strong sense of self-esteem and teach him to completely ignore the taunts of others. As for his hair, if you have the courage to deal with everything a toddler and young boy could do to his long hair I say go for it (and I salute you).
You should let it grow. Grow it until he is old enough to understand about his hair, and when he is let him do whatever he wants to his hair, but try convincing him to keep the long hair. Let him choose for himself when he is older and then he will be happy either way, short or long hair.
When he is older, people will be able to tell that he's a boy. Its just the age that he's at. Often people asume that if a baby has long hair than its a girl. Kids get teased about everything. Kids can be teased for having a funny looking short hair style. So don't worry, he will get used to it.
Good Luck.
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thanks Laine..I'm still pretty new @ this computer thing!! after all the input, I think I will let it grow a little longer.. at least till his dad throws a fit...thanks to all!!!!
caramia
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Your son is a cutie pie. I agree with Gollan - kids will tease other kids for just about anything. So I wouldn't let other kids potential teasing be the only factor in your decision. As far as that woman accusing you of abuse and neglect, well, if she was pointing a finger at you she should realize that there were 3 fingers pointing back at her. Next time someone says something ignorant like that to you just say "bag it" and walk away.
Let us know what you decide! Caramia
"I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me."
What a beautiful baby...he looks like such a sweetheart...you're very blessed. As for the hair? IMO let it continue to grow, adds to those eyes and precious baby charm.
Keep us posted!!
Mylissa
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Thank you for asking this question and for wanting the best for your son. I will answer it on two levels.
1) The first part of my answer is very straightforward: it is my adamant opinion that CADEN should make the final choice about HIS hair. Thus, if he wants to keep it long as you have let it grow, and tolerate teasing, let him. That is kudos for his character - he can stand up to it. On the other hand, if he is one day upset because kids tease him about it, or if he wants it cut for another reason, it's his hair again and you should allow it. By all means, suggest he sleep on it, plainly make him aware of the consequences (if he cuts it and doesn't like it, it'll take a long time to grow back) but do not be obsessive about trying to get him to (or making him) keep it. This is posessive and wholly unnecessary. At his age, I don't think he'll be asking to cut it, but he may not like you cutting his hair, so allow him to make his own decision about it.
2) As for growing it longer, this is a tougher one. Again, what he wants (yes, at his age he may well be able to express a preference) should be paramount, but I don't know if it would be a good idea to cut it (if he doesn't mind) or not let it grow longer if it would spare him being teased. On one hand, I am against conformism and have respect for guys with long hair. On the other hand, your son shouldn't be forced to change the world, so some conformity to what his peers are like (I repeat if he doesn't mind conforming) may be helpful. Kids are likely to tease for anything, but especially for anything "weird" (even if I liked sailor suits, and I think they're ridiculous, I'd never put one on a son of mine. Too "weird"). Does that mean parents should never do anything unusual to their childrens' dress? Maybe but not necessarily - it's a difficult question. I will therefore not advise you to cut his hair, but consider not letting it grow much longer (unless he wants to, again) and keeping it tied back. And if you do decide to cut it, I would advise you not to cut it too short. He doesn't need a "short back and sides" (tapered short classic male haircut) to look like a boy, indeed I find such a haircut makes a little boy look forlorn. A longer, relatively short haircut would probably be the best answer if you do decide to cut it. But before deciding to do so, use your good judgement and don't let what you want get in the way of what would make him happy.
uzma
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Ho hum....Is society still regarding long hair as a female trait. Well, that's fundamentally wrong as Nature proves.
I would ignore the wishes of anyone other than the person of whom the hair is a part.
Beauty expresses itself in many forms and is a comfort in this hard world. Lets not remove our own beauty in order to conform to false social ideas and the uglification of the world.
Duke - I agree with you.
Jean - Sending you more prayers and wishing you success in your life.
Wake up and smell the expresso! This is the year 2003! Men or women should be able in a free society to wear their hair as long or short as they want! Geeeeeeezzzzz! Give me a break! And if someone is so stupid they can't tell the difference between a guy and a gal, regardless of their hair length, then they are an idiot!
People should just wear their hair how they want,.......... and if someone doesn't like your son's long hair,..... well train your kid in karate so he can kick the friggin daylights out of the creep who is giving him a bad time about it!
Zap! Pow! Make your kid a tough guy so he can be as mean as the creeps who bother him are!
tina
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I see no harm in it since he's probably too young to care either way. When he is old enough to start having opinions, I think you should ask him yourself if he'd like to have his hair cut. He's just a kid so it's not that serious. :)
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Something to remember. He is only 14 months old. DO what you want to do as a parent.
My personal opinion is that very young children should have shorter hair untill they are old enough to know the difference and prefer one way to another. Even then very long hair on a younger kid can be too much if they are not tidy about it. i wouldnt want to be the parent who has to constantly tie their hair up.
Anyways, I think as a young boy it should be short untill hes old enough to tell that hes a boy even with long hair and only then if he wants it long.
As a man, I prefer men with long hair...i wish my boyfriend had long hair. But unless the kid wants it long, keep it short untill hes more manly and do always let him know how hansome he will look when it is long, when he is older. I think middleschool is a good age for a boy to have long hair and still look male.
In highschool and beyond he shouldnt get teased at all really unless he is efeminate. Then its normal for guys to have longer hair.
Just whatever you do dont go for the rat tail look!!! Even if you think you can see how long his hair could have been if your keeping it short still dont do the rat tail! Thats far worse than being called a girl every once in a while...in my opinion...
but of course I AM a girl...so maybe my opinion is off about that =)
Something to remember. He is only 14 months old. DO what you want to do as a parent.
My personal opinion is that very young children should have shorter hair untill they are old enough to know the difference and prefer one way to another. Even then very long hair on a younger kid can be too much if they are not tidy about it. i wouldnt want to be the parent who has to constantly tie their hair up.
Anyways, I think as a young boy it should be short untill hes old enough to tell that hes a boy even with long hair and only then if he wants it long.
As a man, I prefer men with long hair...i wish my boyfriend had long hair. But unless the kid wants it long, keep it short untill hes more manly and do always let him know how hansome he will look when it is long, when he is older. I think middleschool is a good age for a boy to have long hair and still look male.
In highschool and beyond he shouldnt get teased at all really unless he is efeminate. Then its normal for guys to have longer hair.
Just whatever you do dont go for the rat tail look!!! Even if you think you can see how long his hair could have been if your keeping it short still dont do the rat tail! Thats far worse than being called a girl every once in a while...in my opinion...
but of course I AM a girl...so maybe my opinion is off about that =)
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i think he should make the desicion when he's older.. it's not very usual for young boys to have long hair. but it's you've got to make the choice. lol
No, it's his choice, a 15 year old is perfectly Sentient and Self aware most of the time, they can make immature decisions but so can adults, the only difference is that they are better at covering it up.
What's usual doesn't matter, unusual things are better. Who wants to see yet another 1" haircut walking down the street... if you like short hair there's plenty already.
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