long hair on boys
Printed From: HairBoutique.com
Category: Long Hair Happenings
Forum Name: Long Hair Support
Forum Description: Growing it long takes commitment and support.
URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=764
Printed Date: June 18 2024 at 8:46am
Topic: long hair on boys
Posted By: cadensmama2002
Subject: long hair on boys
Date Posted: August 16 2003 at 2:15am
| i would like to get an unbiased opinion...my son is 15 mo old with the most beautiful blondish hair that is just starting to get long and thick. so much so that people are starting to mistake him for a girl (no matter what color he wears) it is only hitting the top of his back so its not super long or anything, but i would like to let it grow longer. a woman actually accused me of neglect and abuse for letting his hair grow!! should i cut it so people dont tease him? he can always make his own decisions later...(i would attach pic if i knew how..i'm not very computer literate!!) |
Replies:
Posted By: 3katz
Date Posted: August 16 2003 at 10:35am
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Hi cadensmama (and all): If your son is safe, clean, healthy, and happy, I fail to see how letting his hair grow could be called neglect and abuse. Ignore her; if she'd worked in the nursing and teaching fields as long as I have, she'd know what true child neglect and abuse looks like. Your child's beautiful hair is simply another way for you to treasure and enjoy him. I'm interested to hear what others here have to say about this! Uzi-Keep the hair prayers coming; I've been involuntarily transferred to an inner-city middle school.  Hey, as long as I keep my sense of humor, the hair will survive! I think I will need to be very good to myself, and buy lots of hair treats! And on that note, I'm off to enjoy this beautiful Saturday! You guys have a good weekend, too.  Jean------------- 3katz |
Posted By: Tódia
Date Posted: August 16 2003 at 11:01am
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i think he should make the desicion when he`s older.. it`s not very usual for young boys to have long hair. but it`s you`ve got to make the choice. lol ------------- Annette |
Posted By: Karrinne
Date Posted: August 16 2003 at 11:58am
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My son had beautiful blonde curls. I didn't cut his hair til he was four. People would think he was a girl because of his beautiful curls. He is now 22, and has dark hair which he is growing out. If you like it and keep it nice, grow it out. He'll tell you when he's ready to get it cut! |
Posted By: Laine1998
Date Posted: August 16 2003 at 3:47pm
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There is nothing wrong with a boy having longer hair. Infact many cultures include boys/men having long hair. I know a Somoan (spelling) family, and the 2 older girls and 1 boy, from the back you cannot differenate who is who. They all have gorgeous thick wavy long black hair. The other girl is just over a year, and her hair is growing. IMHO, babies, and even toddlers can look one sex or the other, it just depends on how you dress them. Good luck on keeping the food out of that hair   Grow the hair out, it isn't hurting him. ------------- |
Posted By: cadensmama2002
Date Posted: August 16 2003 at 8:38pm
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i think i figured out how to post caden's pic..now you can give me a better idea on if i should cut his hair :( http://f2.pg.photo.yahoo.com/cadensmama2002 - http://f2.pg.photo.yahoo.com/cadensmama2002 ------------- |
Posted By: Gollan
Date Posted: August 16 2003 at 9:36pm
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hould i cut it so people dont tease him?Posted By: grant
Date Posted: August 16 2003 at 10:34pm
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You should let it grow. Grow it until he is old enough to understand about his hair, and when he is let him do whatever he wants to his hair, but try convincing him to keep the long hair. Let him choose for himself when he is older and then he will be happy either way, short or long hair. When he is older, people will be able to tell that he's a boy. Its just the age that he's at. Often people asume that if a baby has long hair than its a girl. Kids get teased about everything. Kids can be teased for having a funny looking short hair style. So don't worry, he will get used to it. Good Luck. ------------- |
Posted By: Laine1998
Date Posted: August 17 2003 at 4:20am
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Cadensmama The correct link is http://photos.yahoo.com/cadensmama2002 - http://photos.yahoo.com/cadensmama2002 That will get people into there. He is a cutie!!!! ------------- |
Posted By: cadensmama2002
Date Posted: August 17 2003 at 7:31pm
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thanks Laine..I'm still pretty new @ this computer thing!! after all the input, I think I will let it grow a little longer.. at least till his dad throws a fit...thanks to all!!!!
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Posted By: caramia
Date Posted: August 18 2003 at 7:39am
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Cadensmama, Your son is a cutie pie. I agree with Gollan - kids will tease other kids for just about anything. So I wouldn't let other kids potential teasing be the only factor in your decision. As far as that woman accusing you of abuse and neglect, well, if she was pointing a finger at you she should realize that there were 3 fingers pointing back at her. Next time someone says something ignorant like that to you just say "bag it" and walk away. Let us know what you decide! Caramia  ------------- "I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me." |
Posted By: Mylissa
Date Posted: August 18 2003 at 8:23am
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What a beautiful baby...he looks like such a sweetheart...you're very blessed. As for the hair? IMO let it continue to grow, adds to those eyes and precious baby charm. Keep us posted!! ------------- Mylissa |
Posted By: duke
Date Posted: August 18 2003 at 9:40am
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Thank you for asking this question and for wanting the best for your son. I will answer it on two levels. 1) The first part of my answer is very straightforward: it is my adamant opinion that CADEN should make the final choice about HIS hair. Thus, if he wants to keep it long as you have let it grow, and tolerate teasing, let him. That is kudos for his character - he can stand up to it. On the other hand, if he is one day upset because kids tease him about it, or if he wants it cut for another reason, it's his hair again and you should allow it. By all means, suggest he sleep on it, plainly make him aware of the consequences (if he cuts it and doesn't like it, it'll take a long time to grow back) but do not be obsessive about trying to get him to (or making him) keep it. This is posessive and wholly unnecessary. At his age, I don't think he'll be asking to cut it, but he may not like you cutting his hair, so allow him to make his own decision about it. 2) As for growing it longer, this is a tougher one. Again, what he wants (yes, at his age he may well be able to express a preference) should be paramount, but I don't know if it would be a good idea to cut it (if he doesn't mind) or not let it grow longer if it would spare him being teased. On one hand, I am against conformism and have respect for guys with long hair. On the other hand, your son shouldn't be forced to change the world, so some conformity to what his peers are like (I repeat if he doesn't mind conforming) may be helpful. Kids are likely to tease for anything, but especially for anything "weird" (even if I liked sailor suits, and I think they're ridiculous, I'd never put one on a son of mine. Too "weird"). Does that mean parents should never do anything unusual to their childrens' dress? Maybe but not necessarily - it's a difficult question. I will therefore not advise you to cut his hair, but consider not letting it grow much longer (unless he wants to, again) and keeping it tied back. And if you do decide to cut it, I would advise you not to cut it too short. He doesn't need a "short back and sides" (tapered short classic male haircut) to look like a boy, indeed I find such a haircut makes a little boy look forlorn. A longer, relatively short haircut would probably be the best answer if you do decide to cut it. But before deciding to do so, use your good judgement and don't let what you want get in the way of what would make him happy. ------------- |
Posted By: uzma
Date Posted: August 19 2003 at 10:30am
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Ho hum....Is society still regarding long hair as a female trait. Well, that's fundamentally wrong as Nature proves. I would ignore the wishes of anyone other than the person of whom the hair is a part. Beauty expresses itself in many forms and is a comfort in this hard world. Lets not remove our own beauty in order to conform to false social ideas and the uglification of the world. Duke - I agree with you. Jean - Sending you more prayers and wishing you success in your life. ------------- Uzi |
Posted By: tina m
Date Posted: August 19 2003 at 9:12pm
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Wake up and smell the expresso! This is the year 2003! Men or women should be able in a free society to wear their hair as long or short as they want! Geeeeeeezzzzz! Give me a break! And if someone is so stupid they can't tell the difference between a guy and a gal, regardless of their hair length, then they are an idiot! People should just wear their hair how they want,.......... and if someone doesn't like your son's long hair,..... well train your kid in karate so he can kick the friggin daylights out of the creep who is giving him a bad time about it! Zap! Pow! Make your kid a tough guy so he can be as mean as the creeps who bother him are! ------------- tina |
Posted By: Jenna
Date Posted: August 20 2003 at 3:17pm
| I see no harm in it since he's probably too young to care either way. When he is old enough to start having opinions, I think you should ask him yourself if he'd like to have his hair cut. He's just a kid so it's not that serious. :) |
Posted By: duke
Date Posted: August 21 2003 at 12:12pm
AGEISM ALERT! |
Posted By: Erinlynn
Date Posted: August 26 2003 at 7:25am
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Something to remember. He is only 14 months old. DO what you want to do as a parent. My personal opinion is that very young children should have shorter hair untill they are old enough to know the difference and prefer one way to another. Even then very long hair on a younger kid can be too much if they are not tidy about it. i wouldnt want to be the parent who has to constantly tie their hair up. Anyways, I think as a young boy it should be short untill hes old enough to tell that hes a boy even with long hair and only then if he wants it long. As a man, I prefer men with long hair...i wish my boyfriend had long hair. But unless the kid wants it long, keep it short untill hes more manly and do always let him know how hansome he will look when it is long, when he is older. I think middleschool is a good age for a boy to have long hair and still look male. In highschool and beyond he shouldnt get teased at all really unless he is efeminate. Then its normal for guys to have longer hair. Just whatever you do dont go for the rat tail look!!! Even if you think you can see how long his hair could have been if your keeping it short still dont do the rat tail! Thats far worse than being called a girl every once in a while...in my opinion... but of course I AM a girl...so maybe my opinion is off about that =) ------------- |
Posted By: Erinlynn
Date Posted: August 26 2003 at 7:25am
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Something to remember. He is only 14 months old. DO what you want to do as a parent. My personal opinion is that very young children should have shorter hair untill they are old enough to know the difference and prefer one way to another. Even then very long hair on a younger kid can be too much if they are not tidy about it. i wouldnt want to be the parent who has to constantly tie their hair up. Anyways, I think as a young boy it should be short untill hes old enough to tell that hes a boy even with long hair and only then if he wants it long. As a man, I prefer men with long hair...i wish my boyfriend had long hair. But unless the kid wants it long, keep it short untill hes more manly and do always let him know how hansome he will look when it is long, when he is older. I think middleschool is a good age for a boy to have long hair and still look male. In highschool and beyond he shouldnt get teased at all really unless he is efeminate. Then its normal for guys to have longer hair. Just whatever you do dont go for the rat tail look!!! Even if you think you can see how long his hair could have been if your keeping it short still dont do the rat tail! Thats far worse than being called a girl every once in a while...in my opinion... but of course I AM a girl...so maybe my opinion is off about that =) ------------- |
Posted By: Vineman
Date Posted: August 26 2003 at 2:05pm
No, it's his choice, a 15 year old is perfectly Sentient and Self aware most of the time, they can make immature decisions but so can adults, the only difference is that they are better at covering it up. What's usual doesn't matter, unusual things are better. Who wants to see yet another 1" haircut walking down the street... if you like short hair there's plenty already. |
Posted By: Vineman
Date Posted: August 26 2003 at 2:06pm
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Sorry read that wrong =P I really should register so I can edit. Just leave it alone and don't say anything about it to him, if he wants it cut he'll decide himself. |
Posted By: enfys
Date Posted: August 26 2003 at 5:34pm
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In your photos he didn't look like a girl, and that is at an age where there is a certain degree of androgyny. If he likes his hair, and doesn't get too much food, mud or insects stuck in it then there is no need to change it. I think he's gorgeous, a sweet little cherub. Let him stay like that at least until he's a spotty, moody teenager!. ------------- http://www.myspace.com/waltzin_with_the_open_sea - http://www.myspace.com/waltzin_with_the_open_sea Ah-ha, a place I can soon add hair pics...once I do some |
Posted By: Vineman
Date Posted: August 29 2003 at 2:17pm
Hey I take offence at that. |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: August 29 2003 at 5:50pm
Don't worry Vineman. We know you are a very wise and mature young man. We would never confuse you with someone who is spotty or moody. Oh, and welcome to membership! ------------- |
Posted By: Vineman
Date Posted: August 30 2003 at 7:00am
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But I am spotty and moody =( That doesn't make me a bad person or any less Unique compared to others. And I am unique, I've always been the odd guy out since I was young. ------------- This is my signature. It's not a very good signature, but it's a signature nonetheless. |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: April 20 2004 at 12:54pm
| My son is 30 months with long curly blond hair. We have if shorter in the front and shaved on the sides above the ears (almost mullet like) and he seems to love the attention. Occassionally he is mistaken for a girl, but he quickly lets them know that he is a boy. I don't think that all little boys should have to have politician hair. They are young and full of energy...why should we be so judgemental and make our children look like adults? It's their worth really that they exist, not the length of their hair? If he seems to not like it or gets offended that he is called a girl from time to time, cut it. If he doesn't mind, let it go if you want. |
Posted By: KingVyse
Date Posted: April 20 2004 at 10:53pm
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Omg,who cares,he is just a little kid still,i had curly long hair at that age and looked like a girl(until i got a little older),im a hell of alot older now and i could cair less about back then.I kinda like it too because now i got an idea of how my hair looked long.so i say just keep the kids hair long. ------------- |
Posted By: Erinlynn
Date Posted: April 21 2004 at 6:55am
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Becasue this topic filtered up again: At the easter parade there was a chubby 10 year old "girl" sitting behind us blowing bubbles. "She" looked very female. Someone asked my friend where the bubbles were comeing form and she replied "They are from this lady behind us". The "lady behind us" countered "I am a boy". Ooops! sorry! He really looked feminine. Especialy blowing bubbles like that... ------------- |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: April 25 2004 at 4:05pm
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Oops! Oh well. The nature of humans seems to be to need to immediately identify the gender of others... ------------- |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: May 17 2004 at 10:49am
| Boy oh Boy, I'm so confused, My grandson is 3 1/2 and has the most beautiful curly locks that would put Shirley temple to shame. After reading everyones comments I feel guilty for pressuring my daughter into cutting his hair. It's not that I don't like it long, I braid it to keep it off his face, but I guess my opinion was more to please society, maybe she should wait! |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: May 23 2004 at 3:33pm
For her son of 3 1/2, she should do what she sees fit. A good and decent society is made up of all the people in it, including those who decide that their very young children will have long hair. ------------- |
Posted By: Erinlynn
Date Posted: May 24 2004 at 6:06am
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I was thinking about this whole subject again and thought of the kids of my families friends whom each had long hair untill they choose to cut it in highschool. They are the children of hippies...and their long locks had some style to them too...kindof a shaggy 60s look. A nyways they were teased some but if I recall the same people who teased them teased my sister for being slightly chubby when she was a child (Ironicaly now my sister is gorgeous and fit, and they put on weight), and teased me about my long hair and when was I going to ever cut it...even my shorter lenghts were still very long to them, thye wanted it styled and cut to shoulderlenght. ------------- |
Posted By: Bearnup
Date Posted: May 26 2004 at 9:08am
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I seem to remember the origins of this thread when it came up way back when. Anywho.... Hair length should be ALL about CHOICE, and that choice should be for the person whose head is wearing the hair.... With that said our 11 yr old daughter Ellen just had her waist length hair cut to just below her shoulders. She asked to get it cut in about March -- because it was to much trouble to brush herself and she didn't like using detanglers or having someone else brush it for her. The ONLY reason it wasn't cut THEN was at our (her parent's) request. Ellen was going to be junior bridesmaid in a May wedding and we asked her to keep her hair long so it could be put in a bun for the wedding. Ellen said that would be fine. Had she objected and asked to cut her hair we would have taken for a cut back in March. The wedding was Saturday that MONDAY ellen made a donation of hair to locks of love. She looks pretty with the shorter hair...just like she looked pretty with her long hair..but I am her dad so she always looks pretty to me. My wife and I are both still growing our hair long and beautiful. As I said at the start -- We need to remember that kids are people too -- They have feelings, opinions and ideas that are just as important as the grown-ups responsible for their care. Peace ------------- |
Posted By: duke
Date Posted: May 28 2004 at 5:46am
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I second that, Bearnup. Haven't seen you in quite awhile. Glad you're around. In fact, there was an update to this long and old post. The boy's grandmother was apparently embarrased at his long hair and took him for a forced haircut without the mother's knowing it! It was a traumatic experience for both the mother and the boy. I of course joined the discussion condemning this action. But the wider issue began to be debated on the forum, big time. I argued vehemently with a person who didn't see things the way I did - and essentially wanted to shut me up. That person insulted me for some of my views and then this continued on other threads. Then that person and one or two others I think began attacking other posters for their opinions on other subjects. As if we don't have a right to disagree. Finally, HairTalk was shut down for awhile, offending posters banned, and I think at least one very constructive poster apparently scared off the boards! ------------- |
Posted By: arch94
Date Posted: May 28 2004 at 12:36pm
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Just plain wrong. My two cents. ------------- We all know what opinions are like...and I've got both! |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: May 29 2004 at 1:01pm
What's "just plain wrong?" ------------- |
Posted By: arch94
Date Posted: May 29 2004 at 1:32pm
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Hint...read the topic of the message thread. Again...my two cents. ------------- We all know what opinions are like...and I've got both! |
Posted By: Vineman
Date Posted: May 30 2004 at 9:25am
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Why is it just plain wrong? It's been done for hundreds of years, only the last century or so has seen widespread short hair. ------------- This is my signature. It's not a very good signature, but it's a signature nonetheless. |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: May 30 2004 at 10:51am
Thanks for clarifying your meaning. That said, I don't think your comment is appreciated here. Ask yourself, how do you think a "short hair on boys is just plain wrong" (or "short hair on girls is just plain wrong") message on the short hair board would be received? Do you think the people there would gladly say, "Oh yes, you are so right, short hair is just plain wrong, and thank you for enlightening us!" Why don't you elaborate on why you think long hair on boys is "just plain wrong?" I'd really like to hear your thoughts on the subject. (And BTW, what is the significance of the TCB and lightning bolt in your sig avatar?) ------------- |
Posted By: arch94
Date Posted: May 30 2004 at 3:03pm
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Hmmmm......where to start? If you notice, for quite a long time now, i've ended every one of my posts with "my two cents". I just don't think guys should have long hair. Funny though, I'm a short haired fan on girls too. Wow, never thought of it that way. Maybe someday society will say long hair was supposed to be mainly on guys, and the short hair was for the ladies....now that's a plan i like. Of course my "opinion" is not popular on the long hair support board. I didn't expect it to be. Again though, it's my opinion, and we all know what opinions are like...and I have both. The "TCB and bolt" are purely Elvis. Ask any Elvis fan worth their salt, and they should know. He had jewelry made with that design, a wall in his house painted with it, and the symbol was on the tailwings of his airplanes. It stands for takin care of business in a flash. My two cents. ------------- We all know what opinions are like...and I've got both! |
Posted By: Vineman
Date Posted: May 30 2004 at 6:47pm
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However, most people feel it's somewhat cancelled out by "Just plain wrong", and opinion reads something like "I don't like the concept of long hair on boys, personally". Just plain right makes something sound as if it's sick and/or creepy. ------------- This is my signature. It's not a very good signature, but it's a signature nonetheless. |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: May 31 2004 at 11:58am
First, thanks for the TCB explanation. Obviously I didn't know that much about Elvis.
Except for misfortune of male-pattern baldness, long hair can be for boys, men, girls and women. And of course, the hair can be altered (cut,colored, permed, etc). Societal expectations regarding hair have changed throughout history. So who knows for certain what will happen in the future?
Yes, I've noticed your "2 cents" ending. I guess I just wonder what reaction you expected or hoped for by posting that message here, and why. I sure don't expect to make friends going to the short hair board and telling them that "short hair is all wrong," and then hoping to deflect unhappy reaction by claiming, "well, it's only my opinion/two cents." ------------- |
Posted By: Gormlaith
Date Posted: June 11 2004 at 10:41pm
Long hair is also for those *blessed* with male-pattern baldness that leave their girlfriend beaming with pleasure at the feel of those softest hairs on top followed by gorgeous long hair in back. Long hair is for every male that wants it, that goes for women too. ------------- |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: June 13 2004 at 12:39pm
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Hi Gormlaith! Well yes, certainly long hair is also for those afflicted with male-pattern baldness. I tried (poorly) to say that the occurance of MPB is a cruel and involuntary trick played on (mostly) men that robs them of some of the hair strands they would like to still have. I feel badly for all men afflicted with MPB, whether or not they want their hair long. Your boyfriend is blessed that you are his girlfriend, JLL. Please give him my regards.------------- |
Posted By: kengibson2001
Date Posted: June 16 2004 at 6:33pm
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I'm growing my hair long. But I don't have to worry looking feminine. I look psycho no matter what my hairstyle is. I just look a lot less intimidating with long hair. I can't stand being mistaken for a psycho. I have very cold blue eyes maybe that's why. Long hair looks feminine. I ask does this guy look feminine  The males have longer hair than the females. |
Posted By: DaveDecker
Date Posted: June 19 2004 at 8:07am
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LOL. That's pretty funny, Ken! Hey, the way I see it, long hair can be worn by men and women, since it can be grown to super long lengths on both. ------------- |
Posted By: Unregistered Guest
Date Posted: August 01 2004 at 12:53am
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There was a guy in my high school who had really long hair. He would either wear it loose or in a pony tail, we all called him the ninja because we thought he looked like one :-) So obviously on him it looked good. However I have a cousin in grade 1 who has long hair. His mother is a vegan, and is raising her son the same way. She refuses to let her son cut his hair, but she herself has very short hair so it's not like she hates short hair. He gets picked on all the time at school, however it's not entirely because of his hair (some of the kids thing it's weird he eats tofu and stuff like that) I do not think that the long hair looks bad on him, it's just that some of these kids have never seen long hair on a boy before. I think it's harder when they are younger because there are less obvious features to tell a boy and a girl apart. I know that all through elementary school I had very short hair and was confused for a boy all the time. Then again now I have BSL hair and still ocassionally get confused for a boy *shakes head in frusteration* |
Posted By: AnaisSatin
Date Posted: August 01 2004 at 8:03pm
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krazykid wrote: Then again now I have BSL hair and still ocassionally get confused for a boy *shakes head in frusteration* Don't worry Krazykid, that happens to me too... all the time.. even with mid-back length hair. The more men in society with long hair, the more I get mistaken for a guy. (I'm not bashing guys with long hair, currently dating a shorthaired male growing hair down to waist.. a wonderful sort) Probably also because of my attire.. the grunge Kurt Cobain look isn't very feminine. Anyway, this is my personal reason for going more extreme than most American citizens... hip or classic length... so more people think I'm female. |
Posted By: miss brenda
Date Posted: August 01 2004 at 8:16pm
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The majority of both men and women these days wear short or fairly short hair, which is why people, men or women, with very long hair are unique. Since most women wear medium or short hair, the only way you could be mistaken for a man if you are a woman, whatever your hair length, is to not wear any makeup or earrings, dress in grungy "male" like clothes, and have facial features and a body that is somewhat masculine to begin with. ------------- |
Posted By: AnaisSatin
Date Posted: August 02 2004 at 12:55pm
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Miss Brenda wrote: ...the only way you could be mistaken for a man if you are a woman, whatever your hair length, is to not wear any makeup or earrings, dress in grungy "male" like clothes, and have facial features and a body that is somewhat masculine to begin with. Yes Miss Brenda, that's exactly it. and most of it I can change. It's just so much more comfortable this way, not to mention safer on the streets : P |