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A very kind comment about the request Holly made

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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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    Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:56pm
I really understand what Holly really meant. In other english words basically she is asking us to have more respectful toward each other and when we do we are actually respecting God etc. and eventhough some of us that are not religious no matter how we look at it our lives becomes richer when we respect each other. There are many ways of looking at this and explaining it in many diffirent forms.But I can also understand Ally reactions because I come from a very religious family. I personally is not so religious but I can really understand you Ally because I personally almost punch my sister because she felt it was her duty as a christian to tell me that just because my new male friend is going to have a divorce he would still be married in the eyes of our church and the only way we settled this dispute was to drag my sister to the pyschologist and make the pyschologist earned his money. Personally I felt I didn't need to hear that religious stuff after I became a widow but etc....The bottom line is it doesn't kill us to be nicer toward each other on these web sites and nothing is worth hurting someone feelings. It is too easy to hurt people and we are intelligent enough to control and make sure that we are peaceful.Diane
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Holly View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Holly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:56pm
Diane,Hi and thanks for replying. Like I said to Jade I wasn't going to post anymore about this subject but I just wanted to thank both of you for understanding.I also want to make it clear that I don't go around telling people how to live their lives, i.e. divorces and other lifestyles. That's between themselves and God. I'm divorced and remarried myself. That's too personal for people to comment about. Well, o.k., she was your sister soone comment is allowed:)) but over and over can be too much.I don't understand the part about taking her to the psychologist because of her comments-there's probably more to this than you wrote about and it's no one's business anyways, but it kind of gives the impression that if you have a certain belief that you need mental therapy. Maybe you didn't even mean it like that (hope!).If you've read my past posts for "Religious Pressure To Keep One's Hair Long" you can see that I don't like judgmentality. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is what you are implying about me in your post. I just don't want others to get that impression if this is what they are thinking about me after reading your post about your sister. I know firsthand how things can be so terrible in a marriage that there is no choice but to divorce. God knows every individual and what his/her circumstances are.So thanks again for your sensitivity. Like I wrote to Jade, I really appreciate it!Take care,Holly
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:56pm
> Diane,> Hi and thanks for replying. Like I said to Jade I> wasn't going to post anymore about this subject but I> just wanted to thank both of you for understanding.> I also want to make it clear that I don't go around> telling people how to live their lives, i.e. divorces> and other lifestyles. That's between themselves and> God. I'm divorced and remarried myself. That's too> personal for people to comment about. Well, o.k., she> was your sister so> one comment is allowed:)) but over and over can be too> much.> I don't understand the part about taking her to the> psychologist because of her comments-there's probably> more to this than you wrote about and it's no one's> business anyways, but it kind of gives the impression> that if you have a certain belief that you need mental> therapy. Maybe you didn't even mean it like that> (hope!).> If you've read my past posts for "Religious> Pressure To Keep One's Hair Long" you can see> that I don't like judgmentality. Don't get me wrong,> I'm not saying this is what you are implying about me> in your post. I just don't want others to get that> impression if this is what they are thinking about me> after reading your post about your sister. I know> firsthand how things can be so terrible in a marriage> that there is no choice but to divorce. God knows> every individual and what his/her circumstances are.> So thanks again for your sensitivity. Like I wrote to> Jade, I really appreciate it!> Take care,> HollyHello Holly:The way my husband died gave my whole family a real need to see a pyschologist and going to see a pyschologist doesn't mean there is something wrong with that person. In my opinion everyone can benefit from it because one come out feeling a lot better about themselves. My family has overstep their bounderies when it came to religion etc so that why she was brought to the pyschologist to settle our diffirence. Very complicated and I wasn't saying anything negative about you or comparing you to my sister . Of course not but I was only saying I understand Ally's reaction because of my own experiences and I understood yours. Hopefully this clears things.Diane
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Holly View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Holly Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:56pm
Diane,> The way my husband died gave my whole family a real> need to see a pyschologist and going to see a> pyschologist doesn't mean there is something wrong> with that person.Well, I didn't think that going to a pyschologist meant there's something wrong with you mentally-but the way the first posting about your sister read, it sounded like because she just had a strong opinion about it that she needed to go see one. The way Christian's are portrayed by the media a lot of the time is that they're in need of psychological help-i.e. wacky. I may have been being sensitive and obviously from this new posting you didn't mean that at all, so I'm glad it's all cleared up now.I also wanted to say I'm truly sorry for your loss. I hope things are going well for you now.Take care,Holly
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:56pm
> Diane,> Well, I didn't think that going to a pyschologist> meant there's something wrong with you mentally-but> the way the first posting about your sister read, it> sounded like because she just had a strong opinion> about it that she needed to go see one. The way> Christian's are portrayed by the media a lot of the> time is that they're in need of psychological> help-i.e. wacky. I may have been being sensitive and> obviously from this new posting you didn't mean that> at all, so I'm glad it's all cleared up now.> I also wanted to say I'm truly sorry for your loss. I> hope things are going well for you now.> Take care,> HollyThank you Holly. My goals were to only try to protect both your feelings with the post and at times it is not so easy to find the right words or examples etc.Diane
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