Can gray hair be appreciated?

Going Gray
Is hair color worth dyeing for?


by Tomi Knaefler

My hair is turning gray. It seems as soon as I turned 65 a couple years ago, word spread fast to my hair cells, and almost overnight, I sprouted a bumper crop of white hair.

I was fascinated on the one hand to see my face outlined with sort of a silver halo. On the other hand, I felt a bit panicky. I became aware that my female relatives and friends "colored" (as it's called these days) their hair. I asked them what they used and had them walk me through the process. I hate fussing with my hair, so I groaned at the prospect of such humbug. Noting my distress, my color advisers gave me temporary relief, saying that I should hold off doing anything until I had a greater population of white hair. I grabbed the reprieve.

And while waiting for this white takeover to occur, I did some research that took me into a strange new world. Whenever I lunched with a contemporary whose hair looked suspiciously dark, I popped her the hair quiz. One friend said she used a Japanese dye which is "so easy to apply. Just brush it on with a toothbrush about once a month." Another friend said, "Just use whatever's on sale. I'm not even particular about the color anymore."

A friend whose hair always looks perfect confided that her secret is a French potion. She generously shared some with me, along with powdered rubber gloves. I anxiously tried it out. And voila! Well the voila landed here and there on my face and clothes. I couldn't get the dark splotches off my face for a couple of days. And yet, I found that the dye rapidly faded when I washed my hair after my daily swim.

The same thing was true when I got my hair "done" by another friend's hairdresser. My friend had raved about the great job David does dying her hair. So I went to see David. He started me off with light chatter over a glass of bubbly apple cider. I enjoyed having him play with my hair, dabbing this and that sweet-smelling goop, all the while carrying on this wonderful gossip about who was having an affair with whom. Meanwhile, David managed to get some of the dye on my hair; however, it proved no better than the dye job I gave myself. The silver roots began showing in a few days.

After those experiments, I decided that dyeing, or coloring, or whatever, just wasn't for me. Besides, I started to like the silver look of, uh, maturity. And when I thought of the spectacular white hair of some of my friends, I decided that would be the way to go.

I still get a little startled, though, when I see a strand of white in my comb or on my sweater. My first thought is, "Oh, is that mine?" Ah, yes, it is.


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I had noticed my first grey hair when I was around 16. I'm now 23 and have big streaks of white hair. I dye my hair to cover the grey. I have had complete strangers stare and ask what is wrong with me. I have grown out my grey hair and really liked the way it looked, but I just hate dealing with the questions people ask me. How old are you? Why is your hair grey? You need to see a doctor. Anyways if I was a little older I would stop dying my hair. I thinking the chemical in hair dye can dry out hair and make some women look even older.

Wow, what an interesting thread...Thank you for bringing it back up Lansing...I hadn't read it yet.

I love grey hair, But I can't help loving the art of coloring hair also...

I think, there is nothing more beautiful than healthy shiny hair with a great cut.

Ananclaire, Let it Grow, Long, Gray and Beautiful. I am 43 and my wife is the same age. She has always worn her hair very long, about waist length now, and I have been her trusted stylist keeping her ends well groomed as well as enjoying the touch and feel of brushing out her hair for her . As the gray hairs started to appear a number of years ago, she asked if she should color her hair? I replied No, it is gorgeous as it is with some gray, it looks like streaks. A couple years later she asked if it was time to cut it all off and get a perm (aka turn her beautiful mane into one of those headhugger bird`s nests)? I told her no way! Because you are getter older and gray is no reason to ruin your beautiful hair. Well, it is still long, full, silky, brown, silver and extremely shiny. Alot of the younger guys give her second and third looks as they walk by. I tell her they are just admiring her natural beauty and I`m a lucky guy to have such a great looking wife. Maybe I am predjudice, but I appreciate a beautiful woman, especially one that has the strength of character to look beautiful and not be bullied by scissor happy, so called hairdressers.

Let`s face it, dyeing grey hair is effective at first, but it does not take long for the law of diminishing returns to apply. In the end, some of the worst hair bloopers are leaving white roots showing where the hair is parted, and applying dye to hair that has so obviously lost its colour. I`m with all the others who say why not be yourself? - and in any case I think grey hair, well cut in say, a sharp bob style, is wonderful.

Letting your hair go gray is, I think, part of accepting age gracefully. Besides, it`s really not such a big
deal. I`m 22, and a little while back I found that a hair or 2 in my comb or somewhere looked like it might
be white. I quickly stopped thinking about it (or maybe it`s just a hair bleached by the sun, who knows).
At any rate, hair changing color is part of our natural cycle. It`s better to learn to work with what one has -
in the long run, you can not escape old age, but you can enter into it healthy, and part of this is avoiding
the use of chemicals on your hair.

And it`s always nice if you can bring yourself to just be yourself. :)

Hi!
I`ve been wondering myself if I should let my grays grow out. I`m 34, so I don`t know if that is the normal age to have grays. I do have quite a bit around my temple area (at least in my opinion). My husband says that he can hardly notice them. He says it gives my hair a "highlighted" affect. My natural hair color is light brown and that`s the color I use when I go and have it done. So, maybe I shouldn`t be so vain and finally start to appreciate the grays. I just hate the fact that I`m graying at 34. Actually, I`ve had them for a few years now. And, stopping the coloring will more than likely make my hair healthier, and save me money.

Kathy

Hey :)
My sister wanted to know about coloring her hair (which is how I came across your post). I`ve been trying to convince her that her hair looks fine as it is, because I don`t think she really wants to color it, she just doesn`t like gray. She won`t believe me when I say that lots of people think gray hair can be attractive! So I read your posts with interest.
Did you go ahead and call and cancel your coloring? What did your hairdresser say?
Take care,
Vince.

Wow - you sure look after your hair! Since you obviously take such care of it I`m sure it will look just how you want it when you`ve gone back to your natural color.

Since I only stumbled on this site when I was looking for some info for my sister (who doesn`t have a computer), I`m really pleased you feel that I have given you support! I thought I should probably voice my opinion as I`m sure that there are many folks out there like me who find gray hair attractive. I hope message boards and forums like this will encorage more women (and men!) will follow your lead and return to their natural look.

Anyway good luck, and let me know how it goes!
Take care,
Vince.

Hi Anaclaire,

Thanks for your quick reply to my post! I totally agree with your comments. I also think gray hair can look good, not just because it represents age (and therefore wisdom, as you correctly pointed out) but because with the right care and attention, it can look as stylish and beautiful as any other hair color. Maybe one of the problems with the perception of gray hair is that it is associated with people who don`t really take much care of their hair, as a lot of people who look after their hair well, especially women, choose to color it as soon as they see their first touch of gray appearing. Another problem is that hairstylists seem to steer clear of recommending either long or gray hair (probably only because they would be doing themselves out of business from regular cuts and colorings!).

I often find a woman with a head of shoulder length or longer gray hair very eye-catching - so many women are coloring their hair these days that gray or silver hair is often the exception rather than the rule. So I certainly think that should you decide to go gray you will be noticed! I like both short and long hair on women, but I`ve always preferred longer styles when it comes to gray / silver as it shows the color off.

I`m glad your husband is supportive - a lot of men seem to disapprove of their women`s desire to change their hairstyle and this seems to discourage the women from having the cut and length they truly want. Go for it! I hope it works out for you.

Just out of interest - how much hair did you have cut off, and how long has it grown back to now?

All the best, Vince.