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Topic ClosedLong hair on boys ok or not?

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priyanka View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 29 2002 at 4:27am
Dear members,

Thank you all for responding to my subject.

Tina I think you are a very special mom and i hope you will not force your son to get his long hair cut.

Thank you all.
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priyanka View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 29 2002 at 4:28am
Dear members,

Thank you all for responding to my subject.

Tina I think you are a very special mom and i hope you will not force your son to get his long hair cut.

Thank you all.
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Highland Colonel View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 31 2002 at 10:40am
It is interesting to see how this is developing. The way a few people have posted is really giving me cause
for concern (this not addressed to you, Tina). The problem I see is that people are enjoying Robbie`s hair
so much that they don`t seem to care what HE thinks. It`s his hair. One thing Dawn said really has me on alert: "did you have to use mother knows best talk" or something of this nature. Come on. There is no "best" here. It`s just his hair. Some parents think long hair is "best", others "short" - are they both right out of principle? In the long run, it makes little difference. But what makes A LOT of difference is to let people do what they want with themselves, even if they make mistakes. Tina can give constructive advice to her son regarding his hair, but ultimately, he should chose what is better. I would also like to add that while Robbie may indeed be cute, too much of a big deal should not be made of it. He should not end up feeling as if he were a doll in the hands of others.

Colonel Doe
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 01 2002 at 9:35pm
The Colonel makes some good points, but I really think that a mom knows what is best for her child. To cut waist length hair would be just awful on a boy or a girl. It sounds like Tina and Robbie want to keep it long. How can a 10 year old really know what is the best thing to do. Tina, you have my support. Cutting it would be a big mistake. I know he`s adorable.

Dawn
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duke View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 02 2002 at 2:02pm
Originally posted by Dawn Dawn wrote:

The Colonel makes some good points, but I really think that a mom knows what is best for her child. To cut waist length hair would be just awful on a boy or a girl. It sounds like Tina and Robbie want to keep it long. How can a 10 year old really know what is the best thing to do. Tina, you have my support. Cutting it would be a big mistake. I know he`s adorable.

Dawn

Dawn,

"parents know best" has been used to justify event the actions of parents who don`t know the
last thing about raising children.

Ten year olds are not stupid. And anyway, why is it so important that "the best" happens, anyway?
What great cataclysm would occur if, say,10 year old child X went and shaved her/ his waist-length
hair? (S)he wouldn`t die or be injured, to be sure. Even if(s) he did not like the results, the same could happen to a grownup in his/her situation. Even if that`s "bad", it`s not a disaster. And it could be a good
lesson. Or it could be just what (s)he needed -(s) he might love the makeover. And as for the idea
that a parental veto on this might save her/him frustration with the result, it`s more frustrating to
be told what to do/not to do with your own hair. Welcome to the future, Dawn :)
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 02 2002 at 3:53pm
I think that Tina is a very special Mom. My daughter`s hair is below her waist; probably about the same length as Robbie`s. I personaly know how much work it takes to maintain long hair on a child. If they are both comfortable with it that long then keep it growing. As for the "pretty little girl" comments; not a big deal. Children should be allowed to experience all aspects of growing up. Dealing with long hair can only make a boy appreciate what girls go thru every day. So Tina, have fun with it , and grow it as long as you can. You are a very fortunate Mom, because most boys would not want their hair that long. I bet he is really cute.

Suzie
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 20 2002 at 5:40pm
Hello everyone,

I know I`m getting into this topic a little late, but I hope some of you are still around (especially Tina). I have been growing my son`s hair out for over 5 years now. His only real cut was at age 2. I hated it short so much that I decided not to cut it until he started school. I am really lucky in that I have had so much support from friends and family to keep it long. So one thing lead to another, and now he is almost 9, and his braid is @ 3 -4 inches below his waist. He has never complained about it being so long until this year at school. I wish I could afford a private school like Tina, because the teasing has been hard for him. About a month ago his braid was caught in a locker door at school. I had to leave work and when I got there the janitor was taking the door off the locker. He had been crying so hard that his shirt was soaking wet. Ever since then he has been asking for a haircut. I don`t know what to do. I can`t imagine cutting it right now. I have convinced him to keep it until this summer. In the mean time I have been tying his braid in a knot to keep it above his waist, but the kids still tease him. Anyway, Tina how do you deal with the teasing, and how have you convinced Robbie to keep his hair long. I`m getting kind of desperate.

Ally
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 21 2002 at 1:11pm
Suzie and Ally, you both show a very selfish streak. Suzie wrote "I think Tina is a very special Mom."
Why? Just because she likes her son`s hair long? Suzie`s whole post seems to be about justifying a
mother`s enjoyment of her son`s hair. As if he were her personal property. Suzie then says "Have
fun with it". And what if that is not fun for Robbie? He` not Tinal`s Barbie doll, for crying out loud. If Tina or Ally force their sons to have long hair, the frustration can be immense, and they might develop an angry personality, driven against their mothers. Would you rather your son peacefully gets a haircut now or that he chop it off one day in rebellion? Or they might develop a passive, complacent relationship in the shadow of their mothers. Then Suzie goes on about "kids should be allowed to
experience the hard side of growing up" or some such stuff. You seem to be trying to force him to.
Oh - I`m also getting sick of hearing about Robbie "he must be so cute". Does Robbie want to be cute?
I loathed it when grownups talked about me - or other kids if I recall well - like that.

Ally, I`m surprised you don`t know what you should do. You should go straight to your son, and tell him gently that while he should be aware of how much hair is coming off, he can cut it any time he chooses.
You may not realize it, but you trying to stop him from cutting it may be the most traumatic experience he`s ever had. The locker experience sounds real horrible. And the teasing. I was teased a lot and I
know how it feels. And you DARE force him to take it? Repent your selfish actions and let your son
do what he wants to. Feel what you want, but be fully supportive of his choices. This is really unhealthy for him to be controlled like this. Don`t risk making him hate you.

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Rachel A View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 21 2002 at 3:13pm
Duke, you`re right on this one! Hey, we found some common ground. Mother`s can try to live through their child and controll their child. This mother certainly has proven that point even if she doesn`t realize it. Well Done, Duke!
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
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Highland Colonel View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 21 2002 at 6:41pm
I am aghast when I see how many people do not appreciate their child`s side of the story.
Parents were often like this in the conformist 1950s, and you would think that after the great
upheavals of the 1960s, the control-obsessed parent would be a dying race, at least in the white
anglo-saxon world. But no. There are still those who care more about their personal wishes for
their wee ones than for what the latter have to say. The site www.naturalchild.org would be
good reading for your kind, as would www.youthrights.org and a couple of other similar pages.

In any case, I find that the last two posters in support of the mums really are short-sighted.
"Cute little girl" comments may be no problem for the parent, but for the son they can be
devastating. He should decide if he wants to tolerate them or not, not the parent. Your son`s
locker experience must have been horrible. he was crying so hard he got wet (that may well have
caused him additional embarassment) and you do not know what to do about his request to get
a haircut? Madam, there is one thing to do. Talk it over but leave the final decision up to him.
Suggest, by all means (politely!) that he get it shortened to a shoulder length ponytail, but if
he wants to go for short back and sides, don`t try and stop him. Please, have compassion.

Colonel John Doe
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Dawn View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 23 2002 at 8:05pm
Gosh everybody, I thought this was the long hair support forum. We should be encouraging these moms to grow their son`s hair as long as possible. Long hair is something beautiful that can be experienced by both boys and girls. These moms and boys are indeed something special. Also, what is wrong with a little boy being cute, or even pretty. The allternative is much less desirable. Ally, I am so sorry about what happened to your son. I`m sure it was horrible for both of you. I`m glad to hear that your going to keep his hair long at least till summer. Who knows, maybe by then you can convince him to keep it growing. Good luck, and stay in touch. I hope some of the posts havn`t frightened you away.

Dawn
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duke View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 24 2002 at 12:56pm
Don`t be ridiculous Dawn. Whatever the forum is called, it`s no excuse to encourage one person
to impose their will on another. We should be encouraging parents to not hinder their kids
being themselves. I think that any normal person who reads how you write will see that there`s
a big problem. You need to do some sorting out in your mind!!!
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priyanka View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 01 2002 at 5:17am
Dear members,

I would like you to know a bit more about me. I am a pre-op TS male to female.

I am thinking about adoption soon after my surgery. Thats the reason i was asking your opinion on whether its ok for boys to have long hair or not.

I would love to chat with any of you who has a positive view about long hair on boys.

Luv

priyanka
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 20 2002 at 1:01pm
Well concerning boys of dating age, I`d like to say that since I was 18, I`ve only ever fancied men with long-hair, and as they`ve become so rare these days in England, with short hair being so, UGGGH, trendy, I`d recommend any bloke to grow his hair!! - Particulary those in England...
By the way, in reply to the posting that blammed short hair on `some English king 100 years ago` - [the English get blamed for eveything nowadays!] - 100 years ago there`d have been a Queen, not a King of England, just.
Amy
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Dawn View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 20 2002 at 3:14pm
Hi again everybody,

Sorry to be gone so long, but my old Macintosh finally died. I now have a new Compaq. Not many new posts. Is this topic dying? Tina, how`s Robbie`s hair doing? You said you were using some new products. Are you still seeing results? Ally, how is your son? My heart just aches for him after hearing about his ordeal. You should let him read all the positine comments people have made about boys with long hair. Maybe it will help convince him to keep it growing. Let us know what is going on; I for one am really interested.

Dawn
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 21 2002 at 6:46pm
Dawn, you make me want to pull my hair. If your hair aches after reading of Ally`s
son`s ordeal, why is it so important to convince him to keep his long hair? Do the
above comments make no sense to you? Don`t you see how you are advising
parents to get fulfilment out of their child, at the latter`s expense? What is wrong
with you people? Do you really think your wee ones want to be in your shadows?
That they are mindless? They have feelings? How would you like it if one of your
parents started to bother you about wearing your hair a certain way. You would
probably be very unnerved, and not "just" because you are over 18!

Colonel John Doe
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 23 2002 at 12:58pm
When my child went through his first comminion we mom had to watch this film that shows how God is really in us. IN the film it reminded us how every step our children took how it affect us because we by nature want the best and protect our children. When our children cry we cry. Actually if you can`t find this sort of video in the library another not so personal one is a movie that I watch lately called riding in cars with boys. I cried and cried and it was the closest thing to real life and what parent actually go through when their child hurt.

I think Tiny was able to allow her child to have long hair because the school he goes to is not huge not like the one that my sons go to that has over 600 students. SElf esterm is everything and almost all their lives we are responsible for building this in them and showing them we love them. The job of a parent is the toughest and the most important job in the world
dianefromcanada
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Ally View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 23 2002 at 3:57pm
Hi again,

Iwasn`t going to post anymore, but I felt I should respond to Dawn because she has been so supportive. I had a conference with his teacher, and things are much better now; Stevie hasn`t mentioned a haircut in over a week. I really think he is getting comfortable with keeping it long. We watched the Maury Povich show together yesterday. It was about guys with long hair getting it cut. He really liked one of the guys hair, and thought it shouldn`t be cut. We ended up having a nice talk, and decided that if the teasing remains good natured, not hurtful, we will probably keep it growing. I know things can change, but I`m excited.

Ally
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priyanka View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 24 2002 at 1:44am
Originally posted by Ally Ally wrote:

Hi again,

Iwasn`t going to post anymore, but I felt I should respond to Dawn because she has been so supportive. I had a conference with his teacher, and things are much better now; Stevie hasn`t mentioned a haircut in over a week. I really think he is getting comfortable with keeping it long. We watched the Maury Povich show together yesterday. It was about guys with long hair getting it cut. He really liked one of the guys hair, and thought it shouldn`t be cut. We ended up having a nice talk, and decided that if the teasing remains good natured, not hurtful, we will probably keep it growing. I know things can change, but I`m excited.

Ally

Dear sis ally,

You are a great mom. Keep it up.

Priyanka
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: March 26 2002 at 10:54pm
Hi Ally,

We just have to ignore the negitive comments. I know that I have. Stevie`s hair sounds great. It might be even longer than Robbie`s It sounds like things are looking for up his hair. You`ve just got to keep it long no matter what. Cutting now will be a big mistake. Just because Robbie goes to a private school doesn;t mean he gets teased, He is called Roberta or Suzie (agirl with our last name ) all the time. I have been using Pantene products for over 3 months, and the difference is unbelievable. I know that everyone has different hair, but works for us, and, his tangles aren`t a problem anymore. He brushes and braids his hair every night and we are both so happy about how easy it is to work with. Keep us posted.

Tina
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