Be myself or follow the crowd?

I have in the past posted messages similar to this but with the recent posts concerning gender and hair, and the fact that I am getting a trim soon, I wanted to once more get ideas from others. I am a 28 year old guy with nice, healthy, thick hair. I have tried many hairstyles and lengths in my time. In all honesty I look like Sergeant Carter from Gomer Pyle with short styles that most guys wear and I am not into the layered fly away look of the medium styles of the 70's. Undecided on what I wanted to do with my hair I consulted my stylist. Knowing that most stylist will suggest some type of short cut for guys and knowing that I look like a pin head with them, I asked her to recommend a style and length that would best fit my features no matter if it were usually considered as a male or female style. Well, she was open and honest (which I really appreciate) and she said that a bob style would best suit me. I was glad to hear that because I am very fond of bob styles. With that said, I started going toward that. Now my hair is cut basically in a layered bob with the sides just below my ears and a little longer in the back and I have been growing out my bangs ( a major hassle). I finally decided that what I really want is a one length bob just below my ears with bangs to my brows. I think that this style would look good on me and my stylist agreed. You probably know the problem with this. Most people consider this as a female style so I get constant pressure to conform to societal norms and get a shorter more masculine cut. Well I think that would make me self concious and I know that I would hate it. Also, I fail to understand why women can have all these short more masculine styles (shorter than many men) and that is alright but guys can't have longer possibly more feminine styles without ridicule and pressure to conform. Anyway, I want to know what you think about this issue. Should I be myself and be happy with the bob style that I really want, or should I conform, get the short cut and be unhappy? What do you think about bobs? For girls only? Why? What about very short cuts should they be for guys only and say that women with short styles are weird and should conform and grow it out?

First, thanks for the nice words, JerkyFlea.

To bobbedguy: You can't change the way others react to choices you make. The only thing you can do (within this context) is to change the way you react to others. What do you do if/when someone criticizes you? Your reaction will affect how that person sees you. Think about it.

Based on the description of the hairstyle you have/want, I was thinking of the term, "Dutch Boy."


Dave

bobbedguy,

I /have/ seen guys pull off this style. People will just assume you're growing it out.

I'd grow out the bangs and leave the back and sides long enough to pull back.

BTW, did you see Tom Cruise in Magnolia?

Ally

bg,

Growing out bangs is /always/ a nightmare until they reach a certain point. Try to stick it out until you can tuck them behind your ears? Gel helps too.

Ally

P.S. If you KNOW you want them, long-term, and aren't just avoiding the awkward growing-out stage....cut them.

Ally,
Well I got my haircut yesterday and I love it. I did get my bangs cut back in because I have a short forehead and I think the longer bangs wouldn't look all that good tucked behind my ears. Anyway, my stylist raised the longer length in the back to match the length of the sides which is to the bottom of my ears. She shaved the nape up to the occipital and left the hair above it about 1 inch long so that I can turn it under. As you go up from that point in the back the hair gets longer. I really like it and I think that the bangs look much better on me cut to my eyebrows than long. I love my bob with bangs.
Thanks for your help.

bg,

I'm glad you found a look you love, and I admire you for being yourself.

Ally

Hi, I'll try this again. I just wanted to tell you that I knew a bobbedguy many years ago. In a college of 30,000 he was the only one who wore his hair like that that I ever saw. It was his do, he wore it with flair, and didn't care what anyone thought. Now years later, I can't even recall his face but I remember the hair. I say go for it. Cindy

Hi bobbedguy,
This man I knew had the classic Prince Valiant cut; all one length to the jaw line with straight bangs ending above his brows. No sideburns or other facial hair. I first saw him in an off campus club and was really intrigued by his look. My initial thought was that he belonged to one of the medieval clubs or was in the theatre. I later found out neither was true, he simply liked the style. I liked it alot too. It made him look oldworld and noble somehow (not to mention sexy). But part of "the look" was the confidence with which he wore it. He was the only man I ever knew who wore his hair that way. If you are going for a similar look you must also possess some of the same qualities. Best wishes. I bet you'll look great. Cindy

Cindy,
I do possess the same qualities. I wear my bob with pride and in my job I have to be forcefull and stand strong. I am glad that you liked the style he had and I am going for something similar except that mine won't have that helmet look because I like my hair to move around so not too much hairspray. I think it will be awesome.

bobbedguy,

Yeah, I know. I thought about my response right after I sent it that that was what you were after. Anyway, it' going to look great. Best wishes.

longhair2000